Such Good People

Richard Nearly:
I just died and went to escrow.

Jake Jones:
The old joke: A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor and asks...

Chloe Jones:
"Make me one with everything."

Jake Jones:
Given the hotdog, he pays and says...

Chloe Jones:
"Where's my change?"

Jake Jones:
To which the vendor replies...

Chloe Jones:
"Change comes from within."

Jake Jones:
I can't answer your question any more than you can question my answers.

Jake Jones:
[referring to foreign orphans] And it'll mean so much to them to have house-sitters who are so handsome.

Chloe Jones:
And thin.

Dr. Paige Whitehead, Ph.D.:
Are you talking about orphans or dogs?

Chloe Jones:
Both.

Richard Nearly:
I hate them

Alex Reardon:
Aw, honey, so do I.

Alex Reardon:
What kind of people have this amount of money just lying around?

Richard Nearly:
Gangsters, drug dealers, the church...

Richard Nearly:
[waking up surrounded by scattered cash] Jesus, what happened here? Looks like Donald Trump threw up.

Dr. Cooper Whitehead, Ph.D.:
Excuse me, but how do you already know that anything's been taken?

Detective Diane Kershman:
Just a hunch, but I'm pretty sure that the Buddha doesn't shed cash.

Detective Diane Kershman:
Some people's taste is all in their mouths.

Richard Nearly:
Okay, that's it. When Buddhists start shooting people, something is very seriously wrong.