Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

Batman:
You're going to go and meet with him, aren't you?

Superman:
You know me too well. I can't just stand back and do nothing.

Batman:
Well, when it all goes south, don't count on me to save you.

Superman:
I won't. I know you pretty well too.

Batman:
The kryptonite is near your heart. I don't know if I'll get it before the wound closes.

Superman:
Where's The Flash when you need him?

Batman:
Do me a favor and lose the sense of humor.

Superman:
Do us both a favor and buy one.

Superman:
Why is it that good villains never die?

Batman:
Clark, what the hell are good villains?

Superman:
Mongul wasn't his usual talkative self.

Batman:
And Grundy sounded like William F. Buckley.

Batman:
I suppose it's useless to tell you to leave.

Superman:
I wouldn't miss this for anything.

Batman:
Your funeral.

Superman:
Already had one.

Captain Marvel:
It doesn't take the wisdom of Solomon to know you should stay down.

Captain Marvel:
Tell me something, Captain Marvel. Would Solomon have gone to work for Lex Luthor?

Captain Marvel:
[to Superman] You know, you've never been any good against magic. And magic's what I'm all about.

Toyman:
[of the rocket] Oh, one other thing. Back when I designed it, I was way into hero worship.

Superman:
You are absolutely sure this is going to work?

Toyman:
Does Power Girl have big...

Batman:
Just feed it the numbers, kid.

Lex Luthor:
[to Superman] I can't think of a morning I haven't woken up with the thought of strangling you. That sanctimonious image of yours fooled everyone except me. Because I know evil.

Lex Luthor:
You can't touch me. We're on American soil now. And I am the president.

Superman:
Consider yourself impeached.

Solomon Grundy:
Grundy not feel good.

Batman:
Grundy gonna feel a lot worse.

[Batman attacks Grundy]

Superman:
[to Luthor after Batman launches the robot] That was my best friend. And you just killed him.

Captain Atom:
So this is what you've been up to these last few months.

Major Force:
Chasing cars.

Superman:
I help wherever I'm needed.

Metallo:
Superman. From me to you.

[shoots Superman with kryptonite]

Batman:
Are you all right? Say something.

Billy Batson:
Shazam.

[turns into Captain Marvel]

Batman:
You sold out to Luthor.

Captain Atom:
I'm doing my duty. Look, this isn't my decision to make. It's the court's.

Batman:
"Court's"? This is Luthor's vendetta.

Superman:
Power Girl, what do you think about all this?

Captain Atom:
It doesn't matter what any of us thinks. Luthor is the president and what he says goes. Now, are you coming or not?

Superman:
Not.

Captain Atom:
It's not gonna be any easier without Power Girl.

Major Force:
We should have killed them when we had the chance.

Captain Atom:
We do not kill people. Understand?

Major Force:
Is that right?

Batman:
Tell me something, Power Girl. Now that you've been up close and personal with Luthor, how do you feel about him?

Power Girl:
He's the president.

Batman:
But how do you feel when you're around him?

Power Girl:
He... He makes my skin crawl.

Superman:
Sometimes you have to trust your instincts.

Power Girl:
But how do you know when?

Batman:
Now.

Batman:
What did Luthor promise you? Money?

Major Force:
What do I need with money? I'm living energy.

Batman:
You're not going to tell me you killed him for your country, are you?

Major Force:
Some of us still believe in putting our country first.

Batman:
Sorry, I don't any see patriotism here. All I see is a psycho who's latched onto an excuse to kill people and who's so stupid he doesn't realize he's being used by Luthor.

Lex Luthor:
[to Batman and Superman] Aw. You two aren't going to be to save the world now. Well, I'll tell you something. Everyone who lives to see the new world will have learned never to trust your kind again.

Amanda Waller:
Shut up!

[hands a copy of the data to Batman]

Amanda Waller:
Here. It's all the information you need on it. Now go save us.

Lex Luthor:
B*tch.

Amanda Waller:
General, arrest him.

Batman:
Why aren't you with the boy?

Power Girl:
I'm close enough right here. And he's not really that much of a boy, you know? He's 13.

Lex Luthor:
[to Superman] You come to this planet, declare yourself the savior of mankind. Well, I think it's time you died for your sins.

Lex Luthor:
It had to be you! The one other person in the world smart enough to stop that meteor.

Toyman:
The *only* person smart enough. You couldn't do it, remember?

Newscaster:
Lex Luthor's attempt to win the presidency the old-fashioned way... by buying it, seems to be picking up steam. New poles show that 22% of Americans now support his third party bid. In a completely unrelated story, 22% of Americans now indicate a preference for getting [beep] in the [beep] with a red hot poker!

Batman:
Superman! [over comlink]

Superman:
A little busy at the moment [flying Banshee into space]

Batman:
When you can, bring the heat! [Superman then uses heat vision from space to free Batman from being frozen in ice]

Power Girl:
Luthor did the one thing nobody was expecting. He made things boring again. And boring is good, isn't it? The economy is back to normal. Crime is down. There are no wars or anything.

Superman:
He's up to something. Can't anybody see that?

Captain Atom:
That's what I thought at first. Eventually, I realized all he's trying to do is put that formidable intellect to work doing such a good job, no one will have a choice but to respect him. It's all about ego now.

Superman:
I'll never respect him. He's a sick man.

Major Force:
He's not the first to sit in the Oval Office.

Captain Atom:
He's right. There have been womanizers, drunks, crooks, but Nixon helped turn our worst enemy into our best trading partner. And Johnson gave us the Voting Rights Act.

Superman:
Thanks for the history lesson, but I'm not buying it.

Power Girl:
Come on, work with us. Please? We need you.

Superman:
Sorry.

[Superman flies off]

Captain Atom:
I guess Luthor's not the only one with an ego.

Lex Luthor:
Does that mean you're willing to work for me?

Superman:
For you?

Lex Luthor:
Yes. You'll be working for me. But only insofar I represent the country that adopted you. And that you love. What's wrong? Was I getting too sentimental?

Superman:
Luthor.

Lex Luthor:
You think I'd be crazy enough to meet you with some kind of protection?

[Secret Service Agent steps in, reveals himself as Metallo]

Superman:
Metallo.

Lex Luthor:
Who else could stand up to you?

[Superman knocks Lex down]

Metallo:
Shouldn't have done that. He's the President.

Alfred Pennyworth:
I took the liberty of washing and repairing your shirt and cape. The souvenirs of Gotham City sewers are best left under the streets.

Superman:
I'm sure Lois will appreciate that.

Power Girl:
He didn't do it. I'm sure of it.

Lex Luthor:
Oh, really?

Power Girl:
It's just not in him.

Lex Luthor:
Do me a favor. Think back to three years ago. Could you have even dreamed back then that I would be president today? Did you think it was in me? Then if I could change that much, couldn't he?

Superman:
[looks at Metallo's burnt carcass] They must think I did this with my heat vision.

Batman:
You couldn't have. Not unless your heat vision is radioactive. It's not, is it?

[guards appear, Batman brings out a batarang]

Superman:
No. This way.

[grabs Batman and they fly through the ceiling]

Superman:
Now I really look like a criminal.

Batman:
It's done wonders for me.

Batman:
You're late. What took you?

Superman:
l honestly don't think you'd understand.

Batman:
Lois?

Superman:
Mm-hm.

Batman:
You're right.