Superstar

Grandma Gallagher:
Mary Katherine, what are you doing?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
I'm using my telekinetic powers to kill the girl who poured pig's blood on me at the prom.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
These are my BREASTS. They're so BIG. I need a BRA to strap them in. This one is bigger than this one. This is the mommy breast and this one is the baby breast. And they walk hand in hand, because they are FRIENDS!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Oh my God!

Jesus:
Oh my Me! How are you?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
It's going OK. Are you the Lord?

Jesus:
Well, to you I am. See, technically, you're, like, in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Skye, and your dad. Basically, your subconcsious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?

Jesus:
No, I'm good. I'm God!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Oh. Right.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Are you aware that I am rubber, and you are glue, and whatever you say bounces off to me and sticks to you? So just put that in your... back pocket.

Father Ritley:
Body of Christ.

Evian Graham:
Are these low-fat?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Sometimes, when I get real nervous, I stick my hand under my armpits and SNIFF 'EM!

Thomas:
Here! But I don't know where here is man, 'cause I'm so wasted man!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
SUPERSTAR!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
I think they get the point Grandma.

Grandma Gallagher:
Wait, I've got two more. When I say tap, you tap, and when I say booga booga, you booga booga.

Maria Ganitisis:
What's booga booga?

Grandma Gallagher:
I don't know, but when I say it you better f***in figure it out!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Oh look at you painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut. I'm a Puerto Rican lady senor. You're nothing but a little slut Sybill Ann Dorsett. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I ain't no slut! whoo hoo superstar!

Jesus:
The Lord God

Jesus:
is materializing in a highway to tell you to turn around.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
So what really happened to your family?

Slater:
They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
That happens a lot.

[Evian is receiving Communion.]

Father Ritley:
Body of Christ.

Evian Graham:
Are these non-fat?

Father:
Thomas Smith?

Thomas:
Here! But I don't know where here is man, 'cause I'm so wasted man!

Father:
Thomas, it is a sin to even pretend that you-you-you're baked.

Father Ritley:
Mary Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass.

Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Bully Voice:
Oh look at you, my pretty little girl, sitting there with your face all painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut.

Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Puerto Rican Lady Voice:
Don't call me that, I'm a Puerto Rican lady senior.

Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Bully Voice:
You're nothing but a little slut, Sybill Ann Dorsett, we know you're a little slut!

Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Puerto Rican Lady Voice:
I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I AIN'T NO SLUT! (breaks the door, falls on the ground and cries.)

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
[to Evian] Well, you should be embarrassed because your parents named you after bottled water!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
[to Evian] If I was Sissy Spacek in the movie Carrie, I'm gonna use my telekinesis to KILL you!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Your birthmark looks like sh*t!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:
[to Evian] Go drink a bottle of yourself!