Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 3 - Lair of the Leviathan

Guybrush Threepwood:
How's the body treating you?

Murray:
Remarkably well! It's only a matter of time before I gain control of my limbs. [evil laugh]

Guybrush Threepwood:
Oh boy, then we're in for it.

Murray:
I shall rewrite your definition of misery!

Guybrush Threepwood:
You're literate now too?

Murray:
Not completely.

LeChuck:
There's something about the open ocean that makes a man feel alive.

Elaine Marley:
I would imagine that simply having a pulse is a bit of an upgrade for you.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[after De Cava and his crew turn on Guybrush] Where's Noogie?

Bugeye:
Noogie had a hard time re-adjusting to crew-life. He wasn't ready to give up on democracy.

Guybrush Threepwood:
So he founded his own political party and sailed away peacefully?

Bugeye:
Sure. He... went to a quiet farm upstate.

Guybrush Threepwood:
You actually like these guys?

Murray:
"Like"? I like no one. But I *love* the Brotherhood! What I have here is a group of men I can mold in my own image. Their fates are tied to mine - and my fate leads to the highest throne of Hell!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Aren't you a bit like the tyrants you claim to hate?

Bugeye:
I don't appreciate your inference, sweet roll. We do everything democratically down here. Noogie, Moose and Santino carry equal weight in every decision.

Guybrush Threepwood:
How about your decision to be a jerk?

Bugeye:
No, that one's all me.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Inside the giant manatee] I'm going to find a way out of here. Preferably through the front door. Not the... ahem... service entrance.

Reginald Van Winslow:
I'll keep an eye on Miss LeFlay. If she stirs, I'll give her the old scurby buttons!

Guybrush Threepwood:
I don't wanna know what that is.

Morgan LeFlay:
Here's the plan: you charge Johnny Cirrhosis over there, and I'll jump the leader and eviscerate his vitals. The square playing the bongos shouldn't be a problem for either of us. Whoever gets to him first scores the kill. Personally, I'll be going for his throat, he looks like a biter.

Guybrush Threepwood:
I don't think that's a good idea.

Morgan LeFlay:
You're right! I'll keep my distance and shoot for an artery.

Guybrush Threepwood:
I've been doing some thinking, and I'd like to join the Democratically United Brotherhood of the Manatee Interior.

Bugeye:
Is that so?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Yep! Although I'm applying to the Oligarical Society of the Alpaca Farm as a safety.

Murray:
[From a chest] Woe upon thee, foolish mortal! You have unleashed certain doom upon all your feeble fleshy kind, for the wrath of Murray shall be... [Guybrush quickly closes the chest] Very funny...

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Guybrush reopens the chest] Hi Murray!

Murray:
Threepwood! I suppose I should have expected this!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Long time no see! How did you get trapped in here?

Murray:
I'm not trapped!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Okay, what were you doing before you chose to hang out in a treasure chest inside of a manatee?

Murray:
Well, my legions of undead marines had brought an armada of Spanish clippers to their knees when a mighty tempest tossed our ship!

Guybrush Threepwood:
I don't remember hearing about any battle with the Spanish armada.

Murray:
Ha! As if we would allow a soul to live to tell the tale!

Bugeye:
The last thing this manatee needs is his sense of direction restored. We don't need to be getting to any sacred mating grounds.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Seriously. I've never seen manatees mate before, but I sure don't want to be inside one when I do.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[to Murray inside his coat] Everything okay in there?

Murray:
You've gotta get rid of this grub, I almost swallowed it!

Guybrush Threepwood:
But you can't taste anything.

Murray:
It's still disgusting!

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Upon finding a book] "Modern Torture Made Easy". Yeah, I really hate to break a sweat while breaking the wills of my enemies. [Looks inside] This book is full of gut-wrenching torture techniques. Really, there's a device called the "gut-wrencher".

Guybrush Threepwood:
Hey Murrah, can I interest you in this torture manual?

Murray:
Haha, I wrote the book on torture! For instance, taunting a man with his greatest desire is a good form of psychological warfare. As is a good Indian rub.

Guybrush Threepwood:
How so?

Murray:
Do you yearn to reap the incredible benefits of membership of the Brotherhood?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Sure, that'd be okay.

Murray:
Well, I'll never let you in! Ever! Does it scorch your insides, Threepwood? Does it fill you with painful sadness? And gas?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Er, something does, but I think I swallowed some bile earlier.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Mutineers of the crew of Coronado da Cava, I would like to establish, for the record, that the four of you were just man-handled by a woman. So in essence, you've been woman-handled. Which, I imagine, was not near as pleasant as it sounds.

Morgan LeFlay:
[after exiting the giant manatee] Yuck!

Guybrush Threepwood:
That could've been worse.

Morgan LeFlay:
[Sarcastic] Really?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Just a quick trip up the blow hole.

Morgan LeFlay:
Manatees don't have blow holes.

Guybrush Threepwood:
What? Then... Oh, yeah, yuck!

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Out of breath] Horrible... teeth... gnashing... ferocious... leviathan!

Coronado De Cava:
I neglected to mention the guardian of La Esponja.

Morgan LeFlay:
What was it? A giant squid? They've been known to hunt and swallow entire corsairs!

Guybrush Threepwood:
No!

Morgan LeFlay:
[Gasps] Megalodon? Devil whale?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Worse!

Morgan LeFlay:
What then?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Female... giant... manatee!

Coronado De Cava:
The monster must be tamed, Cheapwhistle.

Guybrush Threepwood:
With what, a rolled up newspaper?

Coronado De Cava:
Taming the female is no easy task. Their fickle minds are the greatest of all riddles! Complex, confounding... beautiful.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Are we still talking about manatees?

Guybrush Threepwood:
You don't have some cockamamie plan for taking care of the Leviathan?

Coronado De Cava:
Nothing. I originally spent three months fabricating a giant manatee suitor to be piloted by a crew of fifteen men, all well learned in the ways of bestial romance, but sadly, they were lost during a trial run. Mashed like peas.

Guybrush Threepwood:
Yeesh!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Comfy?

Noogie:
You're a betrayer!... But do you think Morgan is still into me?

Guybrush Threepwood:
Oh yeah, definitely. See how you still have all your limbs? That means she cares.

Murray:
Wait until we chew through your ropes of oppression and topple your puppet regime!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Wow, Murray, you've gone political.

Murray:
I just learned all those words.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[Looking at a backscratcher in the form of a chicken foot] I hope this is what I think it is and not what I hope it isn't.

Guybrush Threepwood:
[while controlling the body of the Voodoo Lady] Marquis, you will bring me the book of the manatee language, or I'll give you an education on voodoo from the business end of a curse!

Marquis DeSinge:
Yeeeow! Zat is the worst wedgie I have ever known! Heavens to hippos, I can practically taste my underpants!

Murray:
[Upon seeing Danny Delk credited as the voice of Murray in the end credits] Wha- that's a filthy lie! This is my own voice!