That's So Raven

[repeated line]

Raven:
Ya NASTY!

[repeated line]

Raven:
Oh, snap!

Eddie:
Oh, help me, Eddie! The bag is full, you little Oompa Loompa!

Raven:
I just had a vision!

Eddie:
Did it involve me and Halle Berry?

Raven:
No, I see things that are actually *going* to happen.

Loca:
Well, let's see. You have three options. Either you do it, you do it, or you do it!

Raven:
[In Australian accent] Its a big one. It can off an arm or even a leg. Ya never know. When your dealing with-...

[claps]

Raven:
- anacondas.

[Eddie starts beating drums]

[repeated line]

Raven:
How ya'll doin?

Raven:
[in New Jersey accent] But, ya know, sometimes you gotta take the high road and forgive Raven. I mean, yous knows who's fors yous-knows-whats.

Raven:
There is nothing that you can say that's gonna get to me.

Muffy:
Umm hmm, my shoes are better than yours.

Raven:
Thats a lie!

Senorita Rodriguez:
[to Raven] You have something on your teeth. [Raven rubs it] Still there... [Raven rubs it again] Still there. [Raven rubs it once more] OK, all gone.

Raven:
[Alana is seen going to talk to Devon] Stinky boyfriend stealer!

Loca:
Whatchu say about Alan?

Raven:
I said, "Shneaky shnorman shnealer." It means please don't hurt me in German.

Chelsea Daniels:
Yeah, but now, Rae, I have no boyfriend.

Raven Baxter:
Yeah, well that guy is crazy because you have 'it' going on.

Eddie Thomas:
Yeah, Chelsea, you have 'it' going on. Well, I mean not really, 'cause we're friends and friends don't look at other friend's 'its'.

Young Eddie:
These are my new sneakers, they're the BOMB!

Eddie Thomas:
[Raven and Chealsea Are watching a tape and they hug] Aww... doesnt that make you wanna go

Raven Baxter, Chelsea Daniels:
Awww

Raven:
[Eddie and Chelsea are arguing continuously] Hey! Hey! This is ridiculous! It is just a goat! It's just a goat. We need to be focusing on what is important here. Boyz in Motion, Motion at midnight.

Donna Cabonna:
Wait young lady, you made a commitment to work for me 24/7!

Raven Baxter:
I didn't know it meant all day all week!

[after Eddie just fed her a Jalopeno Pepper Popper]

Raven:
What? You picked a potentially painful pepper popper to pop into my pecker?

Eddie:
Possibly.

[Miss Petuto and Arthur are admiring the Raven statue]

Arthur:
It's like there's a pressure building from within.

Eddie:
[running up] I wouldn't stand too close.

[Miss Petuto is not interested in what Chelsea has to say about her statue]

Miss Petuto:
Chelsea, why don't you let your art speak for itself?

Raven:
WATER! [Raven jumps off the podium and scares the admirers]

Victor:
Cory, why is this milk carton filled with grape soda?

Corey:
It came from a purple cow?

Tonya Baxter:
I'm calling William's mother!

[accidentally pulls a candy bar out of purse, after banning sugar from the house]

Victor:
What is that?

Tonya Baxter:
My cell phone!

["dials" the candy bar and puts to ear]

Tonya Baxter:
Hello? William's mother? This is Cory's mother...

Victor:
Tonya, hang up the chocolate.

Corey:
[eating at table with Tanya and Victor] Mmmm, this is really good, what do you call this?

Victor:
Fresh fruit.

Eddie:
Guys! Guys! I have the funniest thing.

Chelsea:
[laughs real hard] That was hilarious!

Raven:
Chels, he hasn't said the funny thing yet.

Chelsea:
Or maybe you just don't get it Rae.

[Corey can't see a thing in his stolen glasses. He trips, falls and destroys Cindy's display]

Cindy:
Corey, my project! How could you?

Corey Baxter:
It wasn't easy.

Eric:
There's one thing I can't stand is a LIAR!

Raven:
Yeah, the boys got my back.

Bianca:
[sarcastically] Yeah, and I was partying with Beyonce last night.

Chelsea:
Oh, my God that is so cool, is she nice?

Raven:
Chels, she doesn't know Beyonce.

Chelsea:
Then why was she partying with her, duh?

Raven:
Yum. [Eating sudae] This is good. What did you put in this?

Ms. 'Pushover' Patterson:
A dash of... CINNAMON!

Chelsea:
[Starts choking] Oh, cinnamon?

Victor Baxter:
Rae, you shouldn't have accepted that challenge for me.

Raven Baxter:
Why?

Victor Baxter:
Because of a man named Leonard Stevenson.

[Chelsea screams]

Chelsea Daniels:
What? It sounded scary.

[Rae and Victor leave the room]

Raven Baxter:
Dad, who is Leonard Stevenson?

[Chelsea screams again off-screen]

Victor Baxter:
Chels, get away from the door.

Chelsea Daniels:
Sorry.

Victor Baxter:
Leonard Stevenson. More commonly known as Captain Cook Off.

Raven Baxter:
Dad. You know Captain Cook Off?

Victor Baxter:
Unfortunately.

Raven:
[after Andrea gloats] Actually, I do know how boyfriends are.

Chelsea:
[nervously] Yeah, she does.

Raven:
Yeah, cause I have one.

Chelsea:
Yeah, she does?

Raven:
He makes your Jean-Paul look like French Toast!

Chelsea:
FRENCH TOAST!

Raven:
He is smart, independent, and totally there for me. And he is Eddie.

Chelsea:
Eddie?

Eddie:
Bon Jovi ya'll.

Raven:
Oh you say the cutest things. Come on Boo.

Eddie:
Who's Boo.

Raven:
Boo, you.

Andrea:
[talking to group of students] I was strolling down the Chanze A Lizee when this photographer came up to me and asks, "Aren't you Tyra Banks?" [all laugh]

Raven:
[chomping on gum] Look at her. She thinks she's all perfect just because she lives in Europe, shops in Europe, goes to school in Europe, drinks in Europe, eats in Europe...

Chelsea:
[pulls Raven's arm] Rae, Rae, we get it now. Europe thing, not good. [also chomps on gum]

Raven:
This has been the worst day of my life.

Andrea:
This has been the best day of my life. So, aren't you going to introduce me to your cheer squad? You're the captian, aren't you?

Raven:
Uh, yeah. Let's go meet the squad. [goes toward cheerleaders] OK, diving position girls. 2, 4, 6, 8 that is the way we like to... count! Ok, Jennifer you work on that, Angie, ya need some help. [walks away]

Andrea:
Bonjour boys!

boys in school hall:
[tip their glasses] Bonjour!

Andrea:
Ah, American boys are so cute! If only Jean-Paul wasn't waiting for me back in Paris. You know how boyfriends are Ravee. Oh, that's right! You don't!

Raven:
Actually, I do know how boyfriends are.

Chelsea:
[speaking nervously] Yeah, she does.

Raven:
'Cause I have one.

Chelsea:
[continues speaking nervously] Y-yeah, she does.

Raven:
And he makes Jean-Paul look like French toast.

Chelsea:
French toast!

Raven:
He is charming, cute, and there for me. And he is-Eddie.

Chelsea:
[confused] Eddie?

Eddie:
Bonjour yall.

Andrea:
Eddie's your boyfriend.

Raven:
Yes, and there are a million things we'd rather do. Come on boo.

Eddie:
Who's boo?

Raven:
Boo you.

Raven:
[walking into kitchen] Oh, Chels! This looks so nice. Vegetables, rice, allmodine. So, where's the crab imperial?

Chelsea:
[scooping rice nervously] In the box?

Raven:
[looks in the box and picks up a crab, gasping] Chels, it's still kickin'.

Chelsea:
Yeah-yeah-y-yeah. I know Rae. But at the restaraunt, they wanted to kill 'em and I saved 'em. Look, look, look! I saved Danny, oh, and Little Ricky.

Raven:
Chels, Chels, I understand that you love the animals and girl, I'm all for that. It's just... [walking around the kitchen]

Chelsea:
Rae, watcha doin?

Raven:
Oh, I'm just giving him a tour of the kitchen. Ricky, here's the fridge... and here's the hot pot of boiling water! [opens pot's lid]

Chelsea:
[struggling to put the lid back] Rae no!

Raven, Chelsea:
Raven: Chels! Chelsea: Rae, stop! [fighting over the lid, both fall and have crab stuck in hair]

Raven:
[entering dining room with Chelsea] Look who came with me to serve the salad.

Chelsea:
Yeah. No one serves salad like I do. [puts salad on Victor and Tania's plate] Here's some for Mrs. Baxter and here's some for Mr. Baxter. And here's some [crab pinches her] for Corey!

Corey Baxter:
She always gets a little emotional when she says my name.

Chelsea:
Here's some for Andrea. Here you go Eddie. [spills a little salad] Sorry. [to Eddie]

Raven:
And your main course will be ready soon.

Andrea:
Are you sure you don't need any help? What are we having anyway?

Raven:
Girl, we're having crab. Really, really f-f-fresh crab.

Raven, Chelsea:
[in unison, walking toward kitchen] And your salad servers will be leaving now. Buh-bye, buh-bye, buh-bye, see ya! [waving bye with salad tongs]

Raven:
Well, I barely have time to read the yearbook! Cause I'm, uhh... head of the volleyball time and captain of the cheer... society.

Eddie:
Cheer society?

Raven:
Yes! It's new!

[Andrea looks confused]

Raven:
We uhhh... cheer for the elderly. We're like gooooooooo

[shouts]

Raven:
old people!

Raven Baxter:
Looks like we have to say the magic words...

Chelsea Daniels:
Oh i got this, please and thank you!

Raven Baxter:
Please and thank you, FROM THE BOOK!

Raven Baxter:
Why couldn't you have been wearing a Halle Berry button?

Mr. Petrachelli:
Ho-Ho-Hold it!

Corey Baxter:
20 bucks in 20 seconds. Cha-chingle bells, cha-chingle bells.

Raven Baxter:
[about Santa] No wonder it takes eight reindeer to pull this dude!

Chelsea Daniels:
Did you get the necklace?

Raven Baxter:
Yeah, and we still have time left. Oh look, a shoe sale!

Eddie Thomas:
No the plan was to get in and out we got in now let's get out!

Corey Baxter:
[comes downstairs holding a Christmas suit] I found this hanging up in my closet. [walks to counter and sits down hanging up the suit with the hanger] I will not wear this stupid suit for another stupid picture with Santa, I'm to old.

Victor Baxter:
Come on, we do this every year and your mother loves it. [Cory looks sad]

Victor Baxter:
But... between the two of us, how about 10 bucks to get you to go along with the program.

Corey Baxter:
[Cory looks hypnotized] Ten bucks! [he reachs over for the bill]

Victor Baxter:
Hmmm, whats the magic word?

Corey Baxter:
[takes the money out of Victor's hands] Cheese! [walks out to the Living Room carrying the suit]

Tanya Baxter:
Oh good! I see you found your Christmas outfit! That picture means a lot to your father.

Corey Baxter:
[turns around and faces her] Really? [Tanya nods]

Corey Baxter:
I don't know, it's so dorky!

Tanya Baxter:
Uh, 10 dollars make it any less dorky?

Corey Baxter:
[takes the money and looks innocent] I guess I could do it, for Father.

Scabz:
Where's the rest of your crew?

Raven:
[Talking with a surfer voice] Yeah. They're not with us anymore. [Points in the sky]

Scabz:
You mean, they're in..

Raven:
Canada! For sure!

Raven:
Cory, I am your big sister ok. I won't judge you.

Corey:
Ok, you know that monkey keychain?

Raven:
Ummhmm.

Corey:
I stole it

Raven:
You dirty little thief!

Corey:
I thought you said you wouldn't judge me.

Raven:
That was before I knew what you were doing!

Victor:
Raven, do you remember when we all agreed that we'd step up and take on extra responsibility since your mother is going back to school.

Raven:
I know.

Victor:
And what was your responsibility for this morning?

Raven:
Wake up Cory and bring him down for breakfast!... Oh snap!

[walks up the stairs, Victor resumes massaging her shoulders]

Victor:
Peaceful meadow. Peaceful meadow.

Tonya:
Maybe going back to school was a mistake.

Victor:
No. No, no. Everything is under control. Peaceful meadow. Peaceful meadow.

Raven:
[from upstairs off-screen] Cory? CORY! YOU BETTER WAKE UP YA NASTY!

Corey:
NO! GET OFF ME! AAAAHHHH! MOMMA! MOMMA!

Raven:
QUIET! MAMA'S TRYIN' TO RELAX!

Raven:
[they come downstairs back on screen to reveal a half awake Cory with a tooth brush in his mouth and a shirt halfway on over another shirt] Well, my job's done.

Raven Baxter:
People, people! Listen to me, please, listen to me. Put down the pies! Do not maximize! You need to exercise! The scales will rise and so will your theighs!

Eddie Thomas:
WHO WANTS SOME FRIES!

Eddie:
Chill out Chels. Have a porta pie

Chelsea Daniels:
Wait the food court has take now?

Eddie:
Yeah I got bean and sausage! Actually i ate the bean... Ate the sausage too.

Raven:
Guilty as charged for given us food thats bad for us!

Raven:
Food court... Gotta go!

Raven:
Put the pies down! You got to excrsize! Or the scales will rise and so will yo thighs!

Eddie:
Who wants some fries?

Bianca:
I brought cookies.

Raven:
Where did you steal them?

Bianca:
No. I made them with love.

Larry:
Cory, your dad is going to teach me how to de-bone a chicken [pats chicken]

Victor Baxter:
I am?

Chelsea:
[Eddie and Raven both had a vision] So, how's future? Not like I would KNOW or anything.

Chelsea:
Eddie's so popular. He should get a TV show or someting.

Raven:
Come on, Chelsea. Who would watch a show about a teen physic?

Chelsea:
Yeah...

Raven:
[camera goes back to her and she is staring directly at the camera for about 5 seconds]

Eddie:
[tries having a vision but can't] Uh...

Katina:
Um, what's wrong?

Eddie:
Uhhh I don't know. I can't see it anymore.

Katina:
Well if you can't see the future, we have no future.

Raven:
[dressed in '70s clothes with Chelsea] We are two *foxy* mommas you just *don't* wanna mess with!

Raven Baxter:
Ahhhh! Shut Up!

Sky Huffington:
No... you shut up.

Mr. Briggs:
I think it's just... nifty that you came down here to defend your dad.

Raven:
[smiling hopefully] Yeah?

Mr. Briggs:
Ever notice how nifty people never win?

Chelsea:
Do you carry a lunchbox?

[Raven, Eddie, and Chelsea are in costume, pretending to be someone famous]

Raven:
Everyone is looking at me. Why can't I just blend in?

[about Mr. Briggs]

Raven:
He's looking me in the eye.

Eddie Thomas:
[to Mr. Briggs] Don't do that.

[Raven, Eddie, and Chelsea are in costume]

Raven:
[to Eddie] Papi, tell them who I be.

Eddie Thomas:
Me?

Raven:
You don't expect me to introduce me, do you?

Eddie Thomas:
Uh... that's uh... Liz Anya.

Raven:
[whispers] Liz Anya?

Eddie Thomas:
[whispers] You was about to be Porka Choppa!

Raven:
[dressed as a rockstar] Do you listen to music?

Eddie:
Do you watch TV?

Chelsea Daniels:
Do you carry a lunchbox?

Raven:
Nana, I'm physic.

Donna Cabonna:
Oh that's preposterous!

Raven:
No, its... posterous.

Corey Baxter:
Introduce yourself, talk about... school! Or TV, music!

The Juicer:
Okay... school! TV! Music? Oh nice job, Casanova!

Chantel:
Oh. There he is. Talkin' to Lori... Whadda ya think they're talkin' about?

Raven:
I don't know, but ya know: They DO have History together...

Chantel:
HISTORY! With MY Cookie Lips?

Chelsea Daniels:
Wait a minute! You love to meddle! I mean if there was a gold medal for meddling, you'd win the blue ribbon!

Chelsea Daniels:
Wait a minute-no-that doesn't make sense!

Chelsea Daniels:
No. you wouldn't win a ribbon for meddling-you'd win a ribbon for ribboning! Duuhhhh...

Chelsea Daniels:
Rae... Rae? Raven?

Raven:
[Dressed as her "mother"] I heard you stole my babies locker!

Bully:
Look all i was

[Raven hits him with her purse]

Bully:
Now you get your things outta there pronto am i making myself clear?

Bully:
But i was just

[Raven hits him with her purse again]

Raven:
Now dont you but me boy! And you if you mention any of this to Eddie I've got a bigger purse with buckles! OW!

Stanley:
She done broke my heart, Freckles.

Stanley:
[Freckles puts his hand on Stanley's shoulder and Stanley shoves it away] You don't know me like that!

Stanley:
My love is like a boomerang, it keeps on coming back.

Raven:
Well my foot is like a pendulum, it will keep on swingin'...

Stanley:
OK, I'm gone!

Chelsea:
[singing] On top of Old Oakey, all covered in leaves

Senorita Rodriguez:
[singing back to her sacrcastically] Oh, Chelsea stop singing, I'm begging you please!

Eddie:
Hey, Jake. You got barbecue sauce all over your shirt.

Jake Haskell:
What? No I don't...

Eddie:
[Eddie spills barbecue sauce all over Jake's shirt] You do now.

Raven Baxter:
[looking around the tree] So this is Old Oakey, huh?... Yeah, it ain't so bad.

Eddie:
Yeah, I could kick it up here.

Chelsea:
Aw, come on. You guys don't have to do that.

Raven Baxter:
But we want to, Chels.

Eddie:
And now that we're all up here, ain't nothin' gonna bring us down.

Chelsea:
Hey, c'mon guys, let's sing it altogether.

Raven Baxter, Eddie, Chelsea:
[singing together] On top of Old Oakey!

[the tree suddenly snaps and starts to tip over]

Raven Baxter:
Oh snap, for real!

[they all scream as the tree fall over with them on it. Senorita Rodriguez runs to the window]

Senorita Rodriguez:
[calling down] Are you guys okay?

Raven Baxter, Eddie, Chelsea:
Yeah.

Senorita Rodriguez:
[singing] Well, now Old Oakey is on top of you!

[laughs]

Senorita Rodriguez:
Oh, I crack myself up!

Raven:
So, what's going on with you two?

Chelsea, Eddie:
Nothing.

Raven:
Oh? 'Cause lately it kinda seemed like something

Chelsea:
Well, sometimes nothing can seem like something...

Raven:
And sometimes something can be something.

Eddie:
Unless it's nothing.

Raven:
Nothing yet or nothing at all because if it's nothing at all we can do it to-geth-er.

Eddie:
Can't.

Raven:
Why not?

Chelsea:
Because if three people do nothing, then it kinda becomes something.

Raven:
Dad, we've always been a three-sum, and if they become a two-sum, then I become a one-sum, then if they break up, we become three one-sums which is definitely not as good as one three-sum!

Chelsea:
Are you excited?

Raven:
Excited? Don't you mean hurt, disappointed... betrayed?

Chelsea:
Oh... no, no, silly! The other excited like, happy!

Raven:
Why didn't you tell me what you guys were up to?

Chelsea:
I don't know, we knew if we told you, you know... you'd want you to control our every move.

Raven:
[interrupting] Ooh! Ooh! I don't even wanna Think about y'all's moves!

Eddie:
Well Rae, you're gonna have to 'cauze we're gonna do them...

[Dances His Hips Front to Back]

Eddie:
...on Stage

Raven:
What? My Dad runs a clean respectable business, Not having you and your nastyyy...

Tonya:
[announcing] And now the salsa-dance stylings of Eddie And Chelsea!

Raven:
Sa... sa... salsa dancing?

Tonya:
Yeah, sweety. What did you think they were doing?

Raven:
Well I thought they were doing something, but a whole 'nother little something...

Raven:
[on a power trip before the Chill Grill's opening] The following things are uncool. Mom scatting - yeah, that's got to go.

[Victor laughs, Tonya glares and he stops]

Raven:
Two, Dad's face on these flyers - gotta go.

Corey Baxter:
[tossing a tomato up and down] Just say the word, Dad.

[kisses tomato]

Raven:
Three, Corey - gotta go. You know what? Actually, make Corey number one. So from the top...

[Corey throws the tomato at her]

Corey Baxter:
It... slipped?

Raven:
My foot is gonna slip.

[takes shoe off and chases him around the restaurant]

Raven:
The Three Musketeers!

Eddie:
The Three Amigos!

Chelsea:
The Three Blind Mice!

[Raven and Eddie give her a look]

Chelsea:
Hey, that's really not fair. You guys took all the good ones.

Raven:
Mom's scatting... gotta go! Dad's face on these flyers... gotta go!

Corey Baxter:
Just say the word dad.

Raven:
Corey... gotta go! actually lets make Corey number 1 so starting at the top.

Corey Baxter:
[Raven talks continuously and Corey throws a tomato at Raven] It slipped?

Raven:
My foot is gonna slip.

Raven:
Mom scatting... gotta go!

Raven:
Dad's face on this flyer... gotta go!

Raven:
Cory... gotta go!

Raven:
[carrying CD player] Corey, have you been using my CD player?

Corey:
No...

Raven:
Then why is there...

[opening CD player, holding up balogna]

Raven:
*balogna* in it?

Corey:
[looking at Raven] Are you mad?

Raven:
You got that right!

Corey:
Then it's done its job.

Tonya Baxter:
And Corey, make sure you take your bath with soup... and water.

Raven:
[carrying CD player] Corey, have you been using my CD player?

Corey:
No

Raven:
[opening CD player, holding up balogni] Then why is there balogni in it?

Corey:
[looking at Raven] Did it make you mad?

Raven:
Ya darn right!

Corey:
Then it's done its job.

[In her excitement, Raven drops the piano cover on her hand]

Raven Baxter:
[through her teeth] If I wasn't so excited, this would really hurt.

Madam Cassandra:
I think I'm getting something.

Raven Baxter:
Yeah, this. [Raven hits her with the giant finger]

Raven:
Chelsea, I just saw the future!

Chelsea:
Rae, sweetie, you always see the future.

Raven:
No, Chelsea, it was way, way in the future. We were on our 75th school reunion.

Chelsea:
We went to 75 schools?

Raven Baxter:
[At Cory's Bro-Mitzvah doing bad comedy] Oh, turkey leg. Where for art thou turkey leg? [Takes a bite] You are in my stomach, turkey leg. Yes, you are! [Laughs]

Sydney:
Yo, turkey! Stuff it!

Raven Baxter:
Who's sayin that? You don't know nothin bout no comedy!

Sydney:
I know you're dyin up there!

Raven Baxter:
So? I got some food. You ain't eatin.

Chelsea:
Look, Rae this whole fight between you guys is just because in fourth grade you were the tooth fairy in the school play and Alana got stuck being tooth decay

Alana:
You got that part because you were a kiss up!

Raven:
I got that part because I *was* the tooth fairy

Alana:
Watch where I'm going

Alana:
Hey Baxter do you know what time it is?

Raven:
No...

Alana:
Quarter past payback

Chelsea:
[looks at watch] Really? mine only says ten past.

Carly:
[Raven is in mid air after trying to leave the research office] She belongs with us!

Eddie:
She belongs with us!

Raven:
I *belong* on the ground!

Victor:
[about Lionel] Just give him a piece of cheese and he'll be just as happy.

Tonya:
Are you comparing the love of a good woman to a piece of cheese?

Victor:
You're gonna turn this into something, aren't you?

Carly:
Dr. Sleevemore does'nt like visitors during research hours.

Eddie:
Research? Girl yall are melting cheese!

Victor:
Okay, so Eddie, what kind of pancakes do you want? We got blueberry, boysenberry, raspberry, and strawberry.

Eddie:
How about Halle Berry?

Raven Baxter:
[shouts] Morning sunshine. Who's gonna have a good day today? We are.

Raven Baxter:
[Chelsea took Raven camping] What is that smell?

Chelsea Daniels:
Chelsea: That would be fresh air.

Raven Baxter:
Well that has GOT to go!

[Starts spraying air freshener]

Chelsea Daniels:
[bird sound effect] I hear you, Mr. Bird.

Chelsea Daniels:
[toad sound effect] I hear you, Mr. Toad.

Raven Baxter:
[interrupting the scene] Chelsea! [saying] Tent in a tube.

Chelsea Daniels:
And I hear you, Miss Mouth.

Chelsea:
[Offscreen inside Raven's tent as a skunk walks through] Hey,Raven! You're boot's back!

Raven:
That is not my boot!

[the entire camp breaks out in screams and runs out of the tent, followed by Raven and Chelsea]

Raven:
[Throws her skunk boot into the tent] Why don't you just take the other one? Ya nasty...!

Raven Baxter:
WHAT? Senior surprise day? And I missed it?

Corey Baxter:
Yeah! Because you were 'so cold, so cold!'

Raven Baxter:
You keep goin, you gonna be out cold in a second.

Corey Baxter:
I see you feelin better.

Sierra:
I'm Sierra, Raven's new best friend.

Chelsea:
Raven has a new best friend?

Eddie:
She's just a little kid, Chelsea.

Chelsea:
I gave her the best years of my life!

Chelsea Daniels:
Oh, so you want to change my script?

Raven Baxter:
No, I'm not saying I want to change your script....Maybe just give it a litle tweaky-tweakying.

Chelsea Daniels:
Fine Rae, "tweaky-tweaky" yourself silly! [storms out]

Raven:
[to Cory in a schoolyard sing] Don't you get excited cause you aren't invited!

Ronda:
[Chelsea opens door] You had to live on the biggest hill in San Fransico. So who's got the broken leg

Chelsea:
Oh her, you wanna see. [Pulls cover off Ravens Leg]

Chelsea:
Chelse!

Ronda:
So. Wheres the cast.

Raven:
Um I broke that too?

Ronda:
You're leg aint broke. You were just too lazy to come and pick up your own clothes.

Chelsea, Raven:
[Ronda grabs chips] Hey!

Ronda:
That's right, I got yo chips. And You! [points to Raven] You on my list.

Raven:
Well now she's off mine.

Rhonda:
Yo leg ain't broken. you was just to lazy to come down to the cleaners and pick them up

[takes chips]

Raven, Eddie, Chelsea Daniels:
Hey!

Rhonda:
Thats right I got yo chips! You on my list!

Mr. Lawler:
Hey where'd that desk come from?

Chelsea:
Uhh... this desk came from a tree! Yea, you know until mankind chopped it down with no regard toward nature and all its wonder...

Raven:
[Quickly expalaining the plot outline for Romeo and Juliet] Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, they both die, cry cry cry, the end.

[Juicer quits Cory's band]

The Juicer:
[singing falsetto] Goodbye, weenies, Goodbye, weenies, Goodbye, weenies...

[pause]

The Juicer:
[singing falsetto] I'm still gonna juice your heads!

Eddie Thomas:
Do you mean to tell me that one whole war started over a woman?

Courtney Dearborn:
Well, imagine Beyonce got stolen by Canada.

Courtney Dearborn:
Dr Stuckerman, I think using first names helps break down the wall between students and teachers.

Dr. Stuckerman:
Well, I spent 25 years building that wall. I love that wall. Leave my wall alone.

Dr. Stuckerman:
Ms Dearborn?

Chelsea Daniels:
Actually, she likes to be called Courtney.

Dr. Stuckerman:
Courtney? Well, Courtney, do you know what my first name is?

Courtney Dearborn:
Erm... actually, I don't.

Dr. Stuckerman:
Bingo!

Chelsea Daniels:
[to Raven] Yeah, he looks like a Bingo.

Senorita Rodriguez:
Hello, Chelsea, Hello, Raven.

Raven:
Hi, Senora Rodriguez. Did you change the midterm!

Senorita Rodriguez:
Si!

Chelsea:
Is it any easier?

Senorita Rodriguez:
Eh... no.

Raven:
Is it any more fun?

Senorita Rodriguez:
Well, I put it on pink paper and that says *fun* to me!

Senorita Rodriguez:
You have until the end of my Ricky Martin CD

Raven:
I was designing since I was in diapers. I used to design my own diapers. In fact, I used to put glitter and sayings and, y'know, little flowers. Trying to add a little beauty to the doody.

[Victor and Tonya are watching Raven model a dress she made at a fashion show]

Victor:
My baby made that dress!

Tonya:
And I made that baby!

Victor:
And I helped!

Chelsea:
Ray, maybe you should go see the school councilor or something?

Raven:
[in a whiney voice] Okay.

Victor Baxter:
Hey kids, check it out. I'm adding something new to the menu: jerk chicken.

Chelsea Daniels:
You're gonna eat the chicken and call it names?

Victor Baxter:
Chelsea, it's Jamaican.

Chelsea Daniels:
Well I don't care what ya makin'. It's still rude.

Victor Baxter:
Sorry chicken.

Chelsea:
Something is different in here.

Victor:
You know, Chels, nothing gets by you.

Chelsea:
I know, it's my keen eye for detail that makes me so good at police work. Now if you excuse me I've made a break in the case.

Chelsea:
[arresting Raven] You... have the right to remain silent!

Raven:
Chelsea? Do you have the keys for that!

Raven:
[Larry stares at her] Who are you starin' at?

Larry:
The face of evil!

Larry:
[to Raven, after licking a cookie crumb from his hand] Please, I'm so weak... can I have some more?

Raven:
*More?*

[the classroom shakes and everyone runs back to their desks]

Corey Baxter:
[begging to Raven] Sister, please, he'll never make it through the winter! Can't I just give him one marshmallow?

Raven:
[staring menacingly at Larry] Well... maybe just one, *but*... he has to catch it in his mouth.

[laughs evilly]

Raven:
I'm such a bossy boots!

[after blackcurrant juice soaks her shirt]

Raven:
[shouts] Oh, I'm melting! I'm melting!

Raven:
[suddenly opening her eyes at Corey] This is all... *your fault!*

[classroom shakes]

[after Eddie and Corey spray pillow feathers all over Nicki]

Raven:
That darn Eddie!

Nicki:
How am I supposed to go over there like this?

Eddie:
Maybe you can fly.

[Raven and Chelsea give Nicki a towel with mud mask on it]

Raven:
[looking at Nicki's mud mask] Ooooooh!

Nicki:
What is all over my face?

Raven:
[takes some on her finger and sniffs it - gasps] Girl, it's pistachio pudding!

[after Corey gets pillow feathers all over Nicki]

Raven:
That darn Corey!

Corey Baxter:
Me?

[Holds up pillow]

Raven:
She broke my pillow!

Raven:
[after Chelsea has covered Nikki in hairspray] That darn Chelsea!

Chelsea Daniels:
Golly gee, I'm hopeless! [chuckles]

Emmett:
A-ha! Singing in the hallway? You'll be spending lunch in detention.

Raven:
What? You little power-trippin', grade-skippin' wannabe police cape, Emmett!

[after a rousing musical performance]

Tony:
Is everybody at this school trying to get into show business?

Chelsea Daniels:
Whatever gave you that idea?

Corey Baxter:
It's on!

Victor Baxter:
Hey, wait a minute. Undercover Superstar isn't on until tomorrow.

Corey Baxter:
I know. I've got a new show that I think you guys will enjoy.

Victor Baxter, Tonya Baxter:
[Old footage of Victor and Tonya, singing] Your love's been a melody. And the beat's comin' from my heart. And it's going to the top of the chart. We have had our share of loss. We're never ever down in the dumps. I love...

Victor Baxter:
Here come the pain.

Victor Baxter, Tonya Baxter:
I love the way that you start. And I know we'll never split!

[Victor does a split and injures himself]

Raven:
Looks like toast got burnt.

Victor Baxter:
Medic!

Corey Baxter:
Should I be runnin'?

Victor Baxter:
Oh, yeah!

Corey Baxter:
Kay!

[Corey starts running, and Victor gets up and chases him]

Corey Baxter:
[to Victor] Daddy, I'm dumb!

Chantel:
I can't wait, Snookypuss.

Eddie Thomas:
Me neither, Cookielips.

Chelsea Daniels:
[watching Eddie and Chantel rub noses] Aww, that is so sweet. Rae, how come we don't have any cute little nicknames?

Raven Baxter:
[giving Chelsea an odd look] Ok... Biscuithead.

Chelsea Daniels:
Awww! [Chelsea gives Raven a hug]

Raven:
Chelsea, pull my finger!

Chelsea:
Oh, oh, no, Ray, my cousin Earl tries that one on me every Thanksgiving! Not gonna happen!

Raven:
Chelsea, pull my finger, I have to get the ring off!

Raven:
Chelsea, come grab my feet!

Chelsea:
Oh, oh no, Ray, cousin Earl tries that one too!

Raven:
Chelsea, come grab my feet, I need to get that ring out!

Raven Baxter:
[gasps] Grandma, are you psychic?

Grandma Vivian:
Well, I don't know who this "Grandma" is, but Viv is. How did you think I knew what Corey was up to with his whoopie cushion... in fact, he's on his way downstairs right now with a couple of water balloons.

[shouting]

Grandma Vivian:
Corey, don't even think about it!

Chelsea:
Could you say that again? My hat wasn't on.

Chelsea:
Rae it's *bald* people she doesn't like.

Chelsea:
[filling out application] Special skills, none, experience, none, why you want this job, don't know.

Raven Baxter:
Hey Chels you might want to put a positive spin on that application.

Chelsea:
Well, what did you write?

Raven Baxter:
For special skills I put down design my own clothes.

Chelsea:
Okay, special skills can whistle through nose, I can do that.

Victor Baxter:
Kapowie!

Jennifer:
[to Raven] What's your favorite kind of beans?

Raven Baxter:
Pork n'

[laughs hysterically while Chelsea and Jennifer stare]

Raven Baxter:
Get it? Pork n' beans!

Chelsea Daniels:
Oh!

[laughs hysterically]

Jennifer:
I just don't find it very easy to laugh about someone eating a poor little piggy.

Chelsea Daniels:
Oh, yeah, I never thought of that. Sorry I laughed, Jennifer.

Jennifer:
[Raven starts spraying her hair with hairspray] Do you realize how harmful that hairspray is?

Raven:
To my hair no I got conditioner in it, its all good.

[Raven hides behind a bale of hay]

Raven:
How do I look?

Eddie:
Rae, the bale's not hiding the booty.