The 52nd Annual Academy Awards

[accepting the Best Actor award]

Dustin Hoffman:
I'm up here with mixed feelings. I've been critical of the Academy... and for reason. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to be able to work. I *refuse* to believe I beat Jack Lemmon, that I beat Al Pacino, that I beat Peter Sellers. I refuse to believe that Robert Duvall lost. We are a part of an artistic family. There are sixty thousand actors in this Academy - excuse me, in the Screen Actors Guild, and probably a hundred thousand in Equity. And most actors don't work, and a few of us are so lucky to have a chance to work with writing and to work with directing. Because when you're a broke actor, you can't write, you can't paint, you have to practice accents while you're driving a taxicab. And to that artistic family that strives for excellence, none of you have ever lost, and I am proud to share this with you, and I thank you.

[accepting his Honorary Oscar]

Alec Guinness:
I feel very fraudulent taking this, but letting no expression cross my face

[smiles]

Alec Guinness:
I'm grabbing this while the going's good.

Johnny Carson:
Tonight we're being seen in 35 countries... including the Arab states of Syria, Lebanon and Beverly Hills.

Johnny Carson:
One of the nominated films is Disney's "The Black Hole." A Black Hole is an empty void in which anything that enters is never seen again. Those of you in the business know it as the William Morris Agency.

[Johnny Carson and Miss Piggy are at the podium]

Miss Piggy:
I'll tell you why they didn't nominate me! It's because I'm a pig!

[to Johnny Carson:
]

Miss Piggy:
Jonathan, you saw "The Muppet Movie." Can you stand there, in your rented tuxedo, and tell me that I am not Oscar material?

Johnny Carson:
Oscar MAYER, maybe!