The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards

Meryl Streep:
I'd like to thank the people at Universal, it's just that there are so many people there who want to take credit for me that I woudln't know where to start

Bill Murray:
...and I'd also like to thank my personal hair stylist, who, for 14 years, has been trying to destroy my natural good looks.

Danny DeVito:
Thank you, thank you. It's really good to see a couple of you.

Danny DeVito:
I've known Michael Douglas longer than some men's wives have been alive

Peter Jackson:
I didn't realize that seven years in this movie would turn me into a hobbit.

Peter Jackson:
I guess I didn't realize that seven years in this movie would turn me into a hobbit.

Jim Carrey:
And the Golden Globe goes to..."Elf"! Oh, wait. That wasn't nominated this year!

Meryl Streep:
I just realized you see completely through my dress. So, that's why I'm standing with my legs together.

Meryl Streep:
And I'd also like to thank my agent, because Tim Robbins forgot to thank his agent.

Diane Keaton:
Playing a woman to love at 57 is like trying to reach a star with a step ladder.

Robin Williams:
'Master and Commander' is the best movie of its kind, besides 'Popeye'.

Bill Murray:
You can all relax, I fired my agent a few months ago.