The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin

Eric 'Bullwhip' Griffin:
Oh, I have no doubt that you're a scoundrel, Higgins, but you certainly aren't the type who would shoot an unarmed man.

Judge Higgins:
Well, that's purely a personal opinion on your part.

Chief Executioner:
All right, boys. Old Cuteye has been duly tried by miners' court and found guilty of thievery and sentenced to be hung. However, this one time we got to temper justice with mercy. We are going to let you live long enough to pull this suffering boy's tooth!

Arabella Flagg:
Grandpa used to say that people are 98% water and if you don't stir them up once in a while, they stagnate.

Eric 'Bullwhip' Griffin:
Now that was not fair. You simply must observe the Marquess of Queensberry rules.

Mountain Ox:
Huh?

Referee:
[pulling Bullwhip aside] Stop usin' them cuss words. I said "a clean fight."