The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes

[Season One Theme Song]

Bad City:
Our world's about to break/Tormented and attacked/Lost from when we wake/With no way to go back/I'm standing on my own/But now I'm not alone/Avengers, assemble!/Always, we will fight as one/Until the battle's won/With evil on the run/We never come undone/Assemble, we are strong/Forever fight as one/Assemble, we are strong/Forever fight as one.

[Season Two Narration]

Nick Fury:
And there came a day unlike any other, when Earth's mightiest heroes found themselves united against a common threat. On that day, they became The Avengers. The invincible armored Iron Man. Thor, prince of thunder. The Hulk, strongest hero there is. And, Captain America, the first Avenger.

Bad City:
[singing] Assemble, we are strong/Forever fight as one/Avengers, assemble!

Steve Rogers:
You are Earth's mightiest heroes, and I've called you together for one reason: the end of the world is here, and it's our job to stop it. You have your assignments. Galactus' heralds must be stopped, no matter what. Do whatever it takes to destroy the machines they're creating, and then we take the fight to Galactus himself. This isn't the battle of good versus evil, it's a battle of survival. We fight to save humanity itself. The world is counting on us, and we will not fail. Each of you are heroes, but today... We are all Avengers.

Thor:
Hear me, Galactus. I am Thor the Thunderer, son of Odin, prince of Asgard. But today, above all things, I am an Avenger, and this world is under my protection!

Terrax:
You believe you can defeat a Herald of Galactus?

Steve Rogers:
We don't believe, monster. We're doing it.

Iron Man:
One on one, we can each take down a villain or two, but 74... none of us can do it alone. Together we have a chance. What we did here, it can change things. The world needs us, but not as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. As a team of our own. Together, we can avenge the wrongs caused by all these villains.

Janet Van Dyne:
We can be Avengers.

The Hulk:
Huh. Good name.

Hank Pym:
[about one of Kang's ships] This is of similar design to portions of Kang's time chair. Iron Man and I theorised that Kang's equipment must have some kind of temporal stasis device. Something that allows it to remain in this era, like an anchor. If we destroy that anchor, the ship would theoretically return to it's own time.

Janet Van Dyne:
[sighs] I'm gonna blast it now.

Steve Rogers:
Find Kang. You're the only one of us who can do it, Tony.

Tony Stark:
I hate him. You know, when he's right.

Hank Pym:
That's how the rest of us feel about you.

Vision:
[being repaired] Am I being scanned as well?

Tony Stark:
Yes, sorry about that. We need to be sure that Ultron didn't leave any surprises inside you.

Steve Rogers:
I'm not worried. Vision's his own man now.

Tony Stark:
I have to give Ultron credit, he did an amazing job designing you. I wish the world was as easy to fix, and trust me, I've been trying.

Purple Man:
What do you mean, they got away? Find them, hunt them down and destroy them! [Tony Stark tries to stop himself giving the order]

Purple Man:
You're trying to resist me, aren't you? No one can resist me at this range, satellite or not! Look at you, the noble hero. Don't pretend like all of this wasn't your idea in the first place! Everything I've made you do in the last six weeks, it all came from you. I just gave you the push you needed!

Zebediah Killgrave:
For so long, I've been able to take anything I wanted. But I wasn't enough. I should have been able to rule the world with my power! And through you, Stark, that's exactly what I'm doing.

Hawkeye:
You think I'm going to listen to you! Stark said you were a traitor, so I'm taking you down!

Captain America:
You've never listened to anyone! Not me, and sure as heck not Iron Man! And now, you're just going to blindly follow orders? You've never done that in your life! And now you're going to get yourself killed, because Tony Stark told you to? No one tells Hawkeye what to do! Come on, Clint!

Steve Rogers:
You okay, soldier?

Clint Barton:
No. Not until I have Purple Man's head on my wall! Even if we have to go through Stark to do it!

Zebediah Killgrave:
I'm impressed, Captain. You must have quite the willpower to keep resisting me like this. But what do you think you're going to do? Even if you get out of here alive, I control the whole world!

Purple Man:
I want you to feel this. I want you to know exactly what I'm making you do! [Iron Man turns his repulsor on Cap, but tries to stop himself]

Purple Man:
You're mine, Stark, for ever! No matter how hard you resist you'll never be free! The most you'll ever be able to do is wiggle your finger when I'm next to you! Now finish him!

Thor:
Purple Man, you have made a grave mistake!

Zebediah Killgrave:
Please, please don't!

Tony Stark:
I can do a lot by wiggling my finger. [flicks him and knocks him out]

[last lines]

Tony Stark:
Ever since I became Iron Man, I've been trying to make sure the weapons I make didn't fall into the wrong hands. And I was turned into a weapon.

Steve Rogers:
No one blames you, Tony. The world knows it was the Purple Man. Everyone was in the same boat as you, he was controlling all of us.

Tony Stark:
No. You shook Purple Man's control, so did the others. And everything Purple Man had me do, was all inside me. They were all ideas I had. I'm supposed to be the futurist, working to build a better tomorrow. What I did, is that the future I've been working for?

Steve Rogers:
I don't believe that. And I don't think it was a mistake that you forgot about the Vision, or that you sent me to the Mansion the night he woke. I think you were fighting the Purple Man the whole time, I think you hoped the Vision would free me. I know you believe in the future, but I believe in people. And I choose to believe in you, Iron Man.

M.O.D.O.C.:
We can remake you, Simon Williams, into something powerful enough to defeat even Iron Man.

Simon Williams:
Something? This is insane. Are you saying I won't be human anymore?

M.O.D.O.C.:
Human? Why would you want to be human?

Grim Reaper:
M.O.D.O.C.

M.O.D.O.C.:
Yes, humanity is relative. You will retain everything that makes you Simon Williams. The Zeta Beam will imbue your living matter with ionic energy. You will become a wonder of science. The power at your disposal will be incalculable.

Simon Williams:
I don't have a choice. Tony Stark has taken everything I care about. I have to take it back.

M.O.D.O.C.:
I agree. Drones, prep him.

Thor:
That is a very big head.

M.O.D.O.C.:
I am M.O.D.O.C. I am the ultimate in human/machine interface. I am designed only for conquest.

The Wasp:
Whatever you say freak show.

M.O.D.O.C.:
Be silent.

Thor:
Like a frost giant's head on an infant's body.

Thor:
Never in all of the nine realms have I seen a creature as foul as you. Truly, mortal technology is worse than the darkest magic.

M.O.D.O.C.:
You insult me? My mental bolts will tear your mind apart. Even the mind of a so-called immortal is no match for M.O.D.O.C.

The Wasp:
Yeah, well, the moon is no match for your head.

[first lines]

Tony Stark:
[off-screen] Stay on him.

[last lines]

Samuel Sterns:
I would call that little test run a success. And now... we begin.

Steve Rogers:
Why does that man have green hair?

Tony Stark:
I have no idea.

Black Widow:
Come back here! You can't leave me like this!

Hawkeye:
Look on the bright side, Widow - your new green skin will match your eyes.

The Leader:
Ah, yes. It is quite curious. My Wrecking Crew could not lift your weapon, even with their strength enhanced by my gamma boosters. And you of all the Avengers were not affected by my gamma energy. Now tell me, why is that?

Thor:
Only those worthy of the thunder may wield Mjolnor, villain. And as for your "energy," mortal science has no fear for an Asgardian.

The Hulk:
Banner's not home. Now leave me alone!

Hawkeye:
Listen, Bigfoot! If you don't give me Bruce Banner in the next three seconds, bottom line? I will take you down.

[Hulk laughs out loud, turns back into Banner]

Bruce Banner:
Okay. You have to give me a minute. He hasn't let me out in weeks.

Absorbing Man:
[to Thor] Nice hammer. Now let me show you why they call me the Absorbing Man.

The Leader:
I knew you would come eventually, my old enemy. But you of all people must realize this is for the best. In Gamma World, no one will hunt you. No one will try and cure you. You'll be a king. Everyone who hated you, attacked you, they will be you. Are you really going to try and stop me?

The Hulk:
No. Not stop you - SMASH YOU!

The Leader:
What do you think you're accomplishing? Your toys cannot hurt my creations.

Hawkeye:
Yeah, I'm not a genius like you, so I found one. And he made me some new arrows. His name is Bruce Banner. Maybe you've heard of him?

The Leader:
My genius cannot be defeated! I've planned at every contingency!

Hawkeye:
Too bad you're such a lousy shot, cucumber head.

The Leader:
[to Hawkeye and Hulk] The two of you think you can defeat me? I already have calculated a thousand ways to destroy you both.

Thor:
[tosses Absorbing Man into him] Destroy? You do not know the meaning of the word, Leader.

The Hulk:
You really want to hurt the Leader? This is how.

The Leader:
It would have been glorious. I was creating the perfect world all in my image.

The Hulk:
That's the problem. You're ugly.

Tony Stark:
Here's another option - join us. Join the Avengers.

Hawkeye:
I don't think so. Look how easy the Leader took you guys out. I'm better off on my own.

Thor:
[to Hulk] And what of you? Will you walk away as well? You are indeed a noble warrior, Hulk - one who has saved the Avengers, and now helped save the world. I would now trust you with my life. Will you trust us?

The Hulk:
Uh, I'll stay if Cupid stays.

Hawkeye:
You want to go, jade jaws? Right here and now? Let's do this!

Victor Von Doom:
[breaks into Stark's home] I would like a word with you, Stark.

Victor Von Doom:
[blasts Iron Man] None may lay hands on Doom!

Victor Von Doom:
I know what you have been doing here, Stark: working on your little toy, searching for the Skrulls hidden amongst us.

Tony Stark:
What do you know about the Skrulls?

Victor Von Doom:
That which you do not, Avenger - I know how to find them! I would have had their genetic key earlier, but you chose to destroy my scanner like an angry child!

Tony Stark:
So what? You're here to help me out of the goodness of your heart?

Victor Von Doom:
No! This world is MINE to rule, and mine alone! These "reptiles" may not have it! [holds up a chip]

Victor Von Doom:
This has been designed to work in conjunction with your detection device. It will allow you to make a genetic reset on the Skrulls, exposig their true forms.

Tony Stark:
You couldn't do it alone, could you? You needed my tech to make your little key work!

Victor Von Doom:
Doom needs no one!

Tony Stark:
So now what? You going to fight them with me?

Victor Von Doom:
That would be beneath me! Such chores are what people like you are for! [flies off]

Iron Man:
Avengers, assemble.

Ant-Man:
We're all right here.

Iron Man:
Good thing Cap's not here. This kind of thing didn't happen in the 40's. He might freak out. Like I am now.

Tony Stark:
Bio-engineered monsters. Freaky ooze creatures. Is that what it was like fighting evil in the 40's?

Steve Rogers:
No, sometimes it got strange.

Tony Stark:
Did you just make a joke? Captain America has a sense of humor.

Steve Rogers:
Don't get used to it, soldier. And please, call me Steve.

Clint Barton:
You know, I'm not so sure I want to be part of a team I have to rescue every week.

Baron Wolfgang von Strucker:
[brandishes a sword] I had hoped to test this blade on the great Captain America. You are not worthy to face me.

James Barnes:
Is it because I have more hair then you? Don't feel bad, Strucker. Maybe when you get older, it'll grow in! [the Baron lunges at Barnes, he dodges]

James Barnes:
Sloppy technique. You shave your head with that thing too? Bet that'll explain a lot!

Peter Parker:
[Upon arriving at Avengers Mansion to meet other New Avengers] Should we have name tags? Well, I'm Spider-Man and this is my trusty sidekick: Wolverine.

Logan:
Don't push it web head.

Hank Pym:
[the Avengers are in their quinjet flying to Wakanda on a mission] You okay, Cap?

Steve Rogers:
In my day, if something went this high, we didn't call it an "airplane".

Hank Pym:
What did you call it?

Steve Rogers:
Science fiction.

Maria Hill:
I've had the same car since I was nineteen years old and never had a problem; yet this thing [S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier] falls out of the sky every other Thursday!

[Thor gets his hammer taken from him]

Thor:
Nay, that is not... [gets slugged]

Beta Ray Bill:
Your weapon is mighty, demon. But now it belongs to Beta Ray Bill!

Thor:
I do not fear Mjolnir's power!

Beta Ray Bill:
Then fear ME!

Beta Ray Bill:
Face the wrath of STORMBREAKER! [unleashes his hammer]

Thor:
The final battle may consume us all...

Beta Ray Bill:
And when that battle comes, brother, I will be at your side.

The Hulk:
You left Hulk in the pool! It froze!

Janet Van Dyne:
Oh yeah, I forgot you were in there...

Malekith the Accursed:
Greetings, thunderer. Fancy meeting you here.

Thor:
Malekith!

Tony Stark:
Okay, I'll bite: What's a Malakith?

Thor:
Malekith the Accursed! The master of the hounds, a dark elf from the realm of Svartalfheim!

Tony Stark:
Yeah, that didn't really clear it up.

Clint Barton:
We need to move the team to the west coast...

Tony Stark:
Hope there's no hard feelings, Hulk. You have to admit, it was a strange situation.

The Hulk:
Whatever. I'm still mad.

Janet Van Dyne:
Well, yeah. You're the Hulk.

Gen. 'Thunderbolt' Ross:
Captain America, for treason against the United States government, for aiding and abetting a known super-criminal, you are under arrest. You can either surrender peacefully, or you can resist. Please resist.

Gen. 'Thunderbolt' Ross:
[to the Hulk] Don't you get it? You're old news! They don't want a psycho, they want a soldier!

Steve Rogers:
We've already got one, thanks! [hits Red Hulk]

Tony Stark:
Guys, we're cut off. A forcefield sealed the breach.

Steve Rogers:
Hang on. We'll find a way to open it.

Tony Stark:
No. Stick with the plan, we'll find another way in.

Janet Van Dyne:
We will?

Tony Stark:
I don't know. I'm just making this up as I go along!

[trying to enter Kang's ship]

Tony Stark:
I could try my uni-beam.

Janet Van Dyne:
Or we could pretend to be Girl Scouts. Everyone opens the door for Girl Scouts.

Tony Stark:
I don't care who you are, but this ends now! [Kang dodges a repulsor and grabs Stark]

Tony Stark:
Okay, now I care who you are!

Kang the Conqueror:
Your armor is... amusing. Primitive, but amusing.

[Dr Doom has imprisoned Wasp and the Invisible Woman, and is working at a machine]

Janet Van Dyne:
Hey! HEY! Dr Doom, right? You wanna apologize to us before you get beaten up, or after?

Susan Storm:
Jan...

Janet Van Dyne:
[sees Lucia] Don't think I forgot about you, robot girl! I mean, seriously, do you really think you're going to walk away from this? You think you're the only wannabe world ruler we've taken down? Here's a tip: putting on a skirt over a second-rate Iron Man armor, not helping! What, you're too good to talk to me? I've had bad guys that...

Victor Von Doom:
Ms. Van Dyne, I am not some common criminal that can be distracted by your prattling. You are nothing to Doom. And your pathetic attempts to play mind games with me amount to exactly less than nothing. So please, stop embarrassing yourself.

Janet Van Dyne:
Uh... okay. So what do you want?

Victor Von Doom:
I have EXACTLY what I want!

Janet Van Dyne:
That's a lot of Iron Mans...

[Ultron deploys laser cannons from his shoulders]

Janet Van Dyne:
Hey, you're not supposed to have guns! Hank didn't put those in you!

Ultron:
This chassis was designed by Henry Pym, and modified by Tony Stark.

Clint Barton:
That's just perfect. What did Hulk contribute? Your bad attitude?

Thor:
Ultron, we would have words with thee!

Ultron:
Error: Contradicting data. The entity known as "Thor" was disintegrated. Solution: Resolve contradiction.

Tony Stark:
Get out of my suit!

Ultron:
Your armor, like all of humanity, is obselete. Accept your end.

Tony Stark:
Yeah, I don't think so!

Hank Pym:
Ant Man was on an undercover mission for the Avengers. That'll explain the bank robberies to the police.

Scott Lang:
I'm not Ant-Man.

Hank Pym:
You are now.

Janet Van Dyne:
[to Vision] What do you want with me? Who are you working for? And why would you combine green and yellow with your skin tone?

Vision:
Why do you keep fighting? You are but flesh and bone. I am a machine. You cannot win. What do you have to gain?

Steve Rogers:
You think I'm fighting for me? To save my own life? That's why you'll never win. I'm not fighting for me. I'm fighting for them. And that's something you'll never understand, machine! It's the very thing that makes us human.

Steve Rogers:
Vision, you saved all of us. Why? Why did you do it?

Vision:
Ultron created me to be perfect. He thought that meant less human, to be cold and unfeeling. I wish to be perfect, but I believe that means to be more human.

Ultron:
We have to get to Ultron!

Tony Stark:
Aye, the robotic demon has much to answer for! [strikes Ultron... ]

Ultron:
[not even a dent] My chassis is comprised of pure adamantium now, Avenger. It is unbreakable, even by your hammer.

Tony Stark:
[blasts Ultron] Well, if you don't mind, we'll keep trying!

Thor:
[tears apart his android clone] I have had enough of machines!

[Ultron defeats all the Avengers]

Ultron:
You are nothing to me. One by one, I will destroy you. I will never tire, I will never show mercy, I will never stop until each and every one of you are d...

Vision:
[puts his fist into Ultron] No... I will not allow this!

Ultron:
[blasts the Vision] I see now that you, my first creation, are a failure. Failure will not be tolerated.

Vision:
I did not fail, I achieved my objective... Your head is now unlocked from your body.

Ultron:
Unacceptable!... Repairing...

Thor:
ULTRON! [takes off Ultron's head]

Tony Stark:
Avengers, pick a robot and take it down!

Ultron:
Unacceptable. Synthezoids, contain the humans.

The Hulk:
GIVE HULK SOMETHING TO SMASH!

Tony Stark:
[to Pym, about Ultron's remains] Destroy everything... EVERYTHING.

Nick Fury:
Things rough at the top, Hill?

Maria Hill:
Let's just say I slept better when YOU were the one being woken at 3:00 AM to deal with the interdimensional threat of the month.

Nick Fury:
I'll be back as soon as we wrap up the Skrull hunt. Until then, drink more coffee.