The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer

Richard Nugent:
Ready boot, let's scoot!

Richard Nugent:
Hi! Mellow greetings, yookie dookie!

Margaret:
You know I'd die for you, only sometimes it's so hard living with you.

Susan:
You're going to make me an old maid.

Margaret:
Only until you're 18.

Matt Beemish:
I'm the court psychiatrist.

Richard Nugent:
Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.

Margaret Turner:
Susan's growing pains are rapidly becoming a major disease.

Richard Nugent:
Hey, you remind me of a man.

Susan Turner:
What man?

Richard Nugent:
Man with the power.

Susan Turner:
What power?

Richard Nugent:
Power of hoodoo.

Susan Turner:
Hoodoo?

Richard Nugent:
You do.

Susan Turner:
Do what?

Richard Nugent:
Remind me of a man...

Matt Beemish:
I couldn't help overhearing. I had my ear to the door.

Agnes Prescott:
Now there's a guy who never goes out of a girl's mind. He just stays there... like a heavy meal.

Judge Margaret Turner:
You could talk the devil into going to church!

Richard (Dick) Nugent:
How'd you get in here?

Matt Beemish:
Well, the door was closed, so I opened it and came right in.

Matt Beemish:
But I've got a plan.

Richard Nugent:
I've had enough of your plans and your whole family.

Richard Nugent:
Thank you, Your Honor, may I go?

Judge Margaret Turner:
You've just got here, don't you like our court?

Susan:
Well, my attitude is that one female judge in the family is enough.

Richard Nugent:
Did you say that your name was Turner?

Susan:
That's right! My sister is Judge Margaret Turner.

Richard Nugent:
Nice to have met the family, bye.

Matt Beemish:
As Menninger clearly points out, traumatic events...

Richard Nugent:
[interrupting] The only traumatic event she needs is a good smack in the jaw!

Matt Beemish:
She's my niece... but you're absolutely right.

Richard Nugent:
[Jerry is sitting in his car in front of the Turner house] Jerry, what are you doing out here? Why don't you go inside?

Jerry White:
I'm not welcome. I'm a square in Susan's social circle.

Richard Nugent:
Nonsense, I'm sure Susan doesn't know you're out here.

Jerry White:
She put me here.

Richard Nugent:
Oh.

Joey:
[Susan arrives at their table in a rage] Is this your daughter, Judge?

Richard Nugent:
[shocked that he'd insinuate Margaret is old enough to have a teenage daughter] It's her sister!

Joey:
Funny, you look enough alike to be mother and daughter!

Margaret:
[annoyed] Sisters look alike too.

Agnes Prescott:
I hate my sister.

Waiter at Tick Tock Club:
[to Nugent after he has been yelled at, insulted, slapped, had champagne tossed in his face and been stuck with the check] Can I get you anything else, sir?

Richard Nugent:
For instance?

Susan:
Have you ever married?

Richard Nugent:
No.

Susan:
Have you ever been in love?

Richard Nugent:
Yes I have. Tell me what kind of paper does this school run?

Susan:
Oh, all the students read it.

Richard Nugent:
I'll bet they do.

Susan:
Did you have many ordeals before you became a success?

Richard Nugent:
No, I...

Susan:
You can talk to me. I want you to think of me, not as a newspaper woman, but as a friend.

Richard Nugent:
Well, in that case, I'll tell you. I did suffer. When I was 10, my mother and father had a double suicide pact, they made it. I was sent to an orphanage. Some days they didn't beat me. Then one night I escaped, I ran away to New York. I used to steal.

Susan:
What did you steal?

Richard Nugent:
Beg your pardon?

Susan:
What did you steal?

Richard Nugent:
Crusts of bread... and things. One time I stole a valise. There were paints and paintbrushes inside. So I began to paint. Then they got me. I was sent to a reform school, but I escaped again.

Susan:
Go on.

Richard Nugent:
Back to new York. A weathly society lady saw my work, fell in love with me and sent me to art school. The rest is history.

Susan:
How wonderful. How terribly wonderful.

Richard Nugent:
Could we do this some other time? I've got a date.

Susan:
Then you're not married?

Richard Nugent:
No.

Susan:
I knew you weren't. You just couldn't be.

Richard Nugent:
Oh I've had some offers.

Susan:
Have you ever thought of me as a model?

Margaret:
I can't honestly say that I have. Why?

Susan:
Dickie wants me to pose for him.

Margaret:
Oh, isn't that nice... DICKIE?

Tommy:
Absit invidia -Latin meaning "no offense intended"...