The Banker

[first lines]

[to Jaynie]

Cowboy:
You know what to do...

[Girl exposes her breasts to Cowboy]

Cowboy:
How old are you, sweetie?

Girl:
Fifteen.

[Cowboy gives girl several 50 dollar bills]

Cowboy:
Sixteen, seventeen...

[pause]

Cowboy:
Now you are eighteen.

[Cowboy and girl kiss, while Dan enters the room]

Dan:
Hi, guy!

Cowboy:
Who the f*** are you?

Dan:
I'm her father.

[pause]

Cowboy:
Nah, I was just kidding, I'm a cop. And you, sweetie, are under arrested.

[Dan brings Cowboy to cell]

Dan:
Hey, boys! We have a fish here!

Cowboy:
[to lawyer] You get me f***ing out of here!

Sheriff:
Hey, we have a cowboy here! It must be Christmas!

Dan:
[to Cowboy] We could have killed you already.

Sheriff:
What is the charge, Dan?

Dan:
Offending cop.

Cowboy:
I will be out of here before you go and kiss your mother!

Dan:
[to sheriff] Twice.

Lloyd:
Let me ask you something, Dan. Do you have any idea, who is Spaulding Osbourne?

[very short pause]

Lloyd:
No, no! Let me tell you: I kiss the Chief's ass. Chief kisses the Mayor's ass. And the Mayor kisses all the Osbourne's asses of the world. Do you get me?

Dan:
Sounds like a bit brown stuff to me.

Lloyd:
Don't be a wise crack with me.

[Dan has dropped Osbourne from rooftop window]

Sharon:
Is he dead?

Dan:
If he's not, I'll be god damned.

[last lines]

Dan:
Now, what are my changes to get Jasper back from your Mother?

Sharon:
Excellent.

[Dan and Sharon are about to leav Osbourne's body, when he slowly gets up]

Spaulding Osbourne:
You are worth... My spirit... My immortality... I am Na'Kook!

Dan:
Well, I am Dan, I am a cop, and you're f***ed!

[Dan shoots 6 times, Osbourne falls on his knees]

Spaulding Osbourne:
[whispers] You're worth it...

[Osbourne collapses]

Dan:
So, how is my dog?

Sharon:
Fine, fine... He is attached to your mother, so don't even think about getting it back.

Dan:
Well, now I know that Jasper has got a real home now.

Cowboy:
[after being caught by Osbourne] Please! Give me another chance!

Spaulding Osbourne:
Another chance? Okay... quick, name the seven dwarfs from "Snow White"!

Cowboy:
Uh... Grumpy... Doc... and Snoopy!

Spaulding Osbourne:
Snoopy?

[Osbourne blows up the car which Cowboy is sitting in]