The Basil Brush Show

Basil Brush:
If walls had ears... [camera pans to walls to show ears] Ha ha ha ha ha! Boom! Boom!

[repeated line]

Basil Brush:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, boom, boom!

Voice Over Man:
[when showing Basil's stint as a wrestler] The following part of the programme was found so inappropriate that we decided to show rabbits on a field until it was finished [cue to fight scene]

Basil Brush:
[Basil and Mr Stephen are in a Dojo where Basil is instructing Mr Stephen in self-defence] Empty your mind.

Mr Stephen:
Done.

Basil Brush:
That was quick.

[Stephen has burped out a dog and Basil]

Miss Molly:
It's a dog!

Mr. Rossiter:
It's a miracle!

Madison:
And probably a crime in some countries.

Mr Stephen:
[looking at his watch while dressed as a hedgehog for a road safty course] Oh, I haven't had any breakfast.

Basil Brush:
Ah, do you want a bowl of milk with some bread in it?

Mr Stephen:
No!

Basil Brush:
He's a bit prickly this morning!

[Mr Stephen has a job teaching schoolchildren about road safety, dressed as a hedgehog]

Basil Brush:
Which school is it?

Mr Stephen:
St Nigel's

Basil Brush:
Oh. the rough one! It's so rough, the teachers have to get *their* parents to pick them up!

Basil Brush:
Not bad for a first show, eh Mr Stephen? I remembered all my lines, but not necessarily in the right order.

Des P Rado, the man with a quest