The Baytown Outlaws

[During the break-in at Carlos's house, McQueen fires blindly through a door, then kicks it open and finds Carlos's maid lying on the floor]

McQueen Oodie:
Oh, sh*t. My bad, lady. You okay?

[No response from the maid, who is plainly dead]

McQueen Oodie:
My defense, you do work for an a**hole.

Carlos:
They shot my motherf***ing maid!

[before the final shootout]

McQueen Oodie:
Hey, Brick?

Brick Oodie:
Hmm?

McQueen Oodie:
You startin' to think we should have finished school?

Brick Oodie:
[chuckles] At least junior high.

Brick Oodie:
[as McQueen questions him about the job] Why you askin' me so many goddamn questions? Hell, it's a damn simple smash-and-grab! We smash our way in and grab Rob!

[in the backseat of the car, Lincoln wakes up]

Brick Oodie:
Sorry, Lincoln, but your faggoty little brother won't shut up!

McQueen Oodie:
Hey, I'm inquisitive! Is that a crime?

Brick Oodie:
[laughing] "Inquisitive"? Where'd you learn that word, huh? You went and read a book?

McQueen Oodie:
It's in my lexicon!

Brick Oodie:
[looking at Rob] You okay?

[Rob can't speak]

Brick Oodie:
See? He understands us.

McQueen Oodie:
How do you get "I'm okay" from that?

Brick Oodie:
[to Rob] Hey, look, buddy, we ain't gonna hurt you. Celeste sent us. You know Celeste? Hey! See, he understands us just fine.

McQueen Oodie:
Once again, how the hell you know what he's sayin'? You the 'tard whisperer?

Brick Oodie:
Say that again, I'm gonna kill you.

McQueen Oodie:
I'm not...

Brick Oodie:
Say that again, I'm gonna kill you.

[Brick reveals to McQueen and Lincoln that they once had a younger brother who was disabled like Rob]

McQueen Oodie:
How'd he die?

Brick Oodie:
I don't know. He was there one day, gone the next. I asked Daddy about it one time, but that went over like a fart in church.

[as the Hood Pirates close on the Oodie Brothers' car, McQueen aims a shotgun at one of them]

McQueen Oodie:
Hey, Waterworld! You'd better back the f*** up!

Brick Oodie:
Here they come! Strap in Rob, here they come, boys!

[the Hood Pirates drive by, dropping a tear gas grenade into the brothers' car and ripping off the door with a grappling hook. When Brick brakes the car to a stop, Rob is gone]

Brick Oodie:
They took the kid! I thought I told you to strap him in!

McQueen Oodie:
They took the f***in' door, man! I really don't think a f***ing seat belt would have mattered, right?

McQueen Oodie:
Welcome to the South, motherf***ers!

[as the brothers say their goodbyes to Rob and Celeste, Rob types on Lincoln's speech-box]

Rob:
[electronic voice] Thank you.

McQueen Oodie:
[grins] Well, ain't that some E.T. sh*t!

Carlos:
Doesn't anybody know how to use finesse anymore?

[last lines]

Carlos:
This better be a box full of f***ing cash.

[opens the box and sees what's inside]

Carlos:
[laughs] You b*tch!

[BOOM!]

McQueen Oodie:
[about Rob] Why you reckon God would make someone like him?

Brick Oodie:
What?

McQueen Oodie:
Why would God let someone be wronged up like that?

Brick Oodie:
I don't... hell, I don't know, man. Hell, why you asking me that, man?

McQueen Oodie:
I don't know. I just been thinking about it.

Brick Oodie:
Don't ask why God made men like him. I wonder why He made men like us.

McQueen Oodie:
That was a f***in' arrow, man!

Montane:
Hood Pirates, mount up!

Montane:
And this time... try not to hit the motherf***ing baby.

Diggs:
Here they come, just like you said!

Montane:
Hey, who the driver?

[to Rob]

Montane:
You want to see this? We're about to f*** your babysitters up!

[after finishing their latest hit]

Jez:
That was quick. I didn't even get off.

Rose:
This one's for Carlos.

Jez:
Well, that makes it better.

[the Hood Pirates' and the Oodie's car speed past a police car, guns blazing. The deputy in the passenger seat quickly turns on the siren, Officer Brown just as quickly turns it off]

Officer Brown:
[off the younger deputy's look] No... no, indeed. Hell, no.

Rose:
[lifting a shotgun] Well hi, big boy, here's *my* boomstick!

Brick Oodie:
[aims a gun at Chogan's head] You're about to have a bad day, John Redcorn.