The Best of Times

Reno Hightower:
Okay Jack, you tell the Caribou whatever you want, but I'm gonna tell you something. You're a low-life, black mailing, chicken-sh*t squid.

Jack Dundee:
Low-life, black mailing, chicken-sh*t squid? Welcome aboard Reno.

Reno Hightower:
She's gonna leave me as soon as I fix her car.

Jack Dundee:
you gonna fix it?

Reno Hightower:
Hell no! I love her.

Jack Dundee:
Elly, I have a new move for you.

Elly Dundee:
Oh? Show me.

Jack Dundee:
It's part Smokey Robinson, Part Gladys Knight, but it's all me.

[Spins while undressing]

Jack Dundee:
Jack....Aquarius...gotta gotta gotta gotta, satisfy.

Elly Dundee:
Sort of a white 'Pip', I love it.

Jack Dundee:
Mr. Weasel's here.

Jack Dundee:
You better watch it, Dr. Death! I'm pretty damn fast for a Caucasian.

Jack Dundee:
Come and get me sucka!

Luther Jackson:
Uh, two minutes left to kick-off. Time for my last smoke.

Reno Hightower:
You lazy jive-ass! You're soft, you're slow and your hands are for sh*t!

Luther Jackson:
Hey, who woke you up?

Reno Hightower:
Get on the field and shut up, Luther!

Luther Jackson:
Reno, you're a prick, and you always were a prick.

Reno Hightower:
Great, great. Now get your ass on the field. NOW!

Jack Dundee:
I will not even dignify that with a reply. I've never paid for it in my life.

Charlie:
All those that think Jack's proposition is sprinkled with horseshit, signify by saying "aye."

All Caribou:
Aye!

Charlie:
Opposed?

Reno Hightower:
No.

Charlie:
The ayes are above the nos.

Reno Hightower:
I was never great. I was pretty good. I was great for around here. Every year I got better. The people remember me in my prime. The kids always ask me about the 6 touchdown passes against Porterville. Hell, I only threw 3 touchdowns.

Jack Dundee:
It was 7.

Reno Hightower:
I'm not going to argue. I like the idea of 7 better. In a couple more years it'll be 8. I get better with age. My knees are killing me. I'm slow.

Jack Dundee:
That's why you didn't want to play the game.

Reno Hightower:
No. I just... I didn't want to destroy the only thing I've got left, those stories about how great I was.