The Book of Life

[about human beings]

Satan:
It's amazing the things they do. They're inventing themselves now. Artificial intelligence and cybergenetics and so on.

Jesus Christ:
It's impressive, I admit.

Satan:
They're cross-fertilizing pears with apples and goats with sheeps, tobacco plants with lightning bugs.

Jesus Christ:
Now that's just stupid.

Satan:
Well, I agree.

Edie:
Are you really the Devil?

Satan:
Yes.

Edie:
Would you like some soup?

[Satan looks completely baffled]

Dave:
She's a Buddhist.

Jesus Christ:
My father He is a jealous god. To Him the law is everything. Even today, lawyers are His favorites.

Dave:
I have a mind, I have senses. The soul is really just our awareness of things and is a material phenomenon.

Satan:
Childlike innocence is not a viable alternative to despair.

Jesus Christ:
I had considered the truth of the gospels to be self evident, but I had no idea it would be perverted by people who claimed to preach it in my name.

Lawyer:
It's the Mormons. I'm outta here, you're on your own.

Jesus Christ:
Now, who are the Mormons again?

Satan:
I talked to your boyfriend today.

Magdalena:
You're so unimaginative.