The Boys Are Back

Artie:
I've got nibbles.

Artie:
Hands up if you like sheep muck. Hands up if you like cow pee. Hands up if you like dog fart. Hands up if you like me.

Katy:
Will you do one more thing for me, Joe?

Joe Warr:
Anything.

Katy:
Buy that convertible.

[first lines]

Joe Warr:
[narrating] I don't know whether you've ever seen a map of a person's mind. Doctors sometimes draw maps of other parts of you, and your own map can become intensely interesting. But catch them trying to draw a map of a child's mind, which is not only confused, but keeps going round all the time. There is zig-zag lines on it, just like your temperature on a card. And these are probably roads in the island, for the Neverland is always, more or less, an island.

Artie:
Daddy.

Joe Warr:
What is it, sweet heart?

Artie:
I want to die.

Joe Warr:
Do you? Why?

Artie:
So I can be with mommy.

Artie:
Don't worry daddy, I'll stay down here with you for now.

Joe Warr:
Thanks.

Laura:
Do you want to say something about the cat?

Artie:
Cat food looks better than it tastes.

Harry:
[opening the car door] Wow, it's boiling!

Joe Warr:
Oh, this is nothing. It's not proper summer here until the steering wheel's too hot to hold.

Joe Warr:
I run a pretty loose ship. Basically I've found that the more rules there are, the more crimes are created. So, fewer rules. Fewer, but bigger rules. No interrupting adults...

Harry:
Why not?

Joe Warr:
I *did* love your mother very much, you know.

Harry:
Then why did you leave?

Joe Warr:
Married couples in my mother and father's generation stayed together for the sake of the children. We divorced for the same reason.

Harry:
So you divorced for my sake?

Joe Warr:
Seems like the right thing to do. Maybe.

Laura:
What do you want me to say?

Joe Warr:
Personally, I find nothing is often best.