The Captain's Paradise

Chief Officer Ricco:
Mrs. 'Gibraltar' St. James: she's in there.

Capt. Henry St. James:
I know.

Chief Officer Ricco:
Madame 'Kalik' St. James: she's also in there.

Capt. Henry St. James:
I'm quite aware of the fact.

Chief Officer Ricco:
Then what do we do?

Capt. Henry St. James:
In the words of a famous English statesman, "We cultivate the faculty of patient expectancy." We wait and see.

Maud St. James:
[delighted with her new vacuum cleaner] When you go off on your old ship tomorrow, I'm going to plug this in and give this house the biggest spring cleaning it's ever had.

Capt. Henry St. James:
That's the girl! Man toils and women spins.

Capt. Henry St. James:
[referring to his two wives] That, Rico, is my solution to man's happiness on Earth. Two happy women, each in their way perfect, and in between the company of men, the clash of intellects to stimulate the mind.

Maud St. James:
I'm 37, Henry, and I think it's time I started to live. I realize that I've missed a great many things, and I want to get them before it's too late. I want to stay up late before it's too late for me to stay up late.

Chief Officer Ricco:
I'll introduce myself ladies... Chief Officer Ricco.

Susan Dailey:
I'm Miss Dailey... and this is Miss Bligh.

Chief Officer Ricco:
To you, Carlos.

Daphne Bligh:
[rudely] And To YOU, Miss Dailey. and Miss Bligh.

Capt. Henry St. James:
Keep an eye on them. They're a wicked lot.

Capt. Henry St. James:
[On the bridge, musing out loud to no one in particular] 'He that would enter paradise must have a golden key.'

Chief Officer Ricco:
[Overhearing] You said something about a key, captain...

Capt. Henry St. James:
I was merely quoting, Ricco, an old proverb.

Capt. Henry St. James:
[Greeting Susan Dailey and Daphne Bligh at table in the ship's dining room] Good evening. I hope you're enjoying your trip... I can thoroughly recommend the Brown Windsor Soup.

Prof. Killick:
[With Capt. St. James and others at table in the ship's dining room] Captain, the trouble with the human race is, that it's entirely sub-human.

Capt. Henry St. James:
There, Professor, I must raise a small cry of protest.

Prof. Killick:
I ignore it. Mankind has consistently misused science, ever since Prometheus brought down fire from Heaven.

Capt. Henry St. James:
In my opinion... I was just going to say, that the only hope for civilization...

Prof. Killick:
[Interrupting] There isn't any!

Capt. Henry St. James:
...is that every device of science - radio, television, all of them - shall be used to show one half of the world how the other lives.

Mr. Wheeler:
Well put, Captain.

Capt. Henry St. James:
Within reason, of course...