The Cat's-Paw

Ezekiel Cobb:
A cordial greeting, my worthy friend!

Pete - Policeman:
Say, what's the big idea?

Ezekiel Cobb:
I have no ideas. In fact, I'm quite bewildered.

Pete - Policeman:
Now, don't get gay with me.

Ezekiel Cobb:
Sir, I'm far from gay.

Jake Mayo:
Where you from, son?

Ezekiel Cobb:
China.

Jake Mayo:
China? You mean where them laundry men come from?

Pat Pratt:
Well, Mr. Mayor!

Ezekiel Cobb:
Good evening, Miss Pratt. Isn't this terrible!

Pat Pratt:
What?

Ezekiel Cobb:
What? I've got to be mayor!

Pat Pratt:
Oh, well its all a circus anyway. And every circus must have its clown.

Strozzi:
I got a message for you. Just two words.

Ezekiel Cobb:
And they are?

Strozzi:
Lay off!

Ezekiel Cobb:
Lay where?

Jake Mayo:
Wang? Wang? Wang? That chink again!

Ezekiel Cobb:
Now, that's what I like about you. You are so honest in your dishonesty that, at heart, I believe you're honest.

Jake Mayo:
He keeps jabbering about bandits in China. And, now he won't talk to nobody but them chinks in the cellar.

Strozzi:
Is that big chink with the sword down there?

Jake Mayo:
Its full of chinks!

Jake Mayo:
Well, what brought you to Stockport?

Ezekiel Cobb:
I was born here.

Jake Mayo:
Eh-huh. A hometown boy, heh? Any friends here?

Ezekiel Cobb:
Well, eh, no. But, I have a letter to Tien Wang, a Chinese gentleman. I'm sure he'll welcome me as a guest.

Jake Mayo:
Say, that ain't right. White man coming back here, no place to go but a Chink.

Ezekiel Cobb:
Why is it that all American girls are so lacking in individuality?

Pat Pratt:
What?

Ezekiel Cobb:
Well, they all look alike. Big-eyed. And pastied-faced. And, well, one exactly like the other.

Pat Pratt:
Eh, how interesting.

Ezekiel Cobb:
Yes, and furthermore, they seem to lack that sense of inferiority that a woman should have in the presence of a man.

Pat Pratt:
Oh, they do?

Ezekiel Cobb:
Yes, I'm disappointed. I doubt whether I shall be able to find an American girl that will make me a suitable wife.