The Colgate Comedy Hour

Himself - Host:
[Startled as he opens mummy case] Oh, are you a mummy?

Sexy harem girl:
Heavens,no! I'm not even married!

Himself - Host:
I must be in love - I feel lousy.

Himself - Comic Actor:
Your brain is too tense.

Himself - Host:
Too tense?

Himself - Comic Actor:
Yeah, two-tenths the size of a normal brain!

Himself - Host:
Did you go to school stupid?

Himself - Host:
Yes, sir, and I came out the same way!

Himself - Host:
Hey, what are you smelling?

Himself - Comic Actor:
When you came into the room, I found it.

Himself - Comic Actor:
How did you get the name of Jack?

Himself - Host:
How did I get the name of Javk? My mother and father were changing a tire.