The Commitments

Jimmy Rabbitte:
The Irish are the blacks of Europe. And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once and say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Soul is the music people understand. Sure it's basic and it's simple. But it's something else 'cause, 'cause, 'cause it's honest, that's it. Its honest. There's no f***in' bullshit. It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure there's a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I'd like to introduce you to the hardest-workin' band in the world. On bass, Derek "Meatman" Scully. On piano, Steven "Soul Surgeon" Clifford. Dean "Mr Nipple" Fay on sax. Joey "The Lips" Fagan on trumpet. Our gorgeous chanteuses are Bernie, Imelda, and Natalie. Deco "Deep Throat" Cuffe on vocals. On lead guitar, Outspan "Fender bender" Foster. Finally, on drums, Mickah "Don't F*** With Me" Wallace. Ladies and gentlemen, The Commitments.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
Is this the band then? Betcha U2 are shittin' themselves.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
That's f***in' blasphemy. Elvis wasn't a Cajun.

Steve Clifford:
[In the confessional] And there's these three girls with the band, I've had lustful thoughts about all of them.

Natalie Murphy:
What do you think, Jimmy, they'll be eatin' chips out of our knickers?

Joey 'The Lips' Fagan:
[to Dean] Are you doing what I told you? Are you thinking of that reed as a woman's nipple?

Unemployment Official:
Mr. Rabbitte, you've been collecting unemployment benefit for two years. Are you trying to tell me you can't get a job?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
We're a third world country - what can you do?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
What do you play?

Failed Drug Buyer:
I used to play football in school.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I mean what instrument.

Failed Drug Buyer:
I don't.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Then what are you doing here?

Failed Drug Buyer:
Well, I saw everyone else lining up, so, uh.... I thought you were sellin' drugs.

Smiths' Song Singer:
[singing, auditioning for Jimmy] I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now...

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Yeah, I know how you feel.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Elvis is not soul.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
[defensively] Elvis is God.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I never pictured God with a fat gut and corset singing "My Way" at Caesar's Palace.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
What do you call yourselves?

Derek:
"And And And."

Jimmy Rabbitte:
"And And f***in' And?"

Derek:
Well, Ray's thinking of putting an exclamation mark after the second "and." Says it'd look deadly on the posters.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Psshh...

Outspan Foster:
You don't like it? You think it should go at the end?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I think it should go up his arse.

Outspan Foster:
Well, we're not married to it.

Outspan Foster:
There's a band around called "Free Beer". Always draws a big crowd.

Derek:
I like "A Flock of Budgies".

Jimmy Rabbitte:
We have to be "the" something. All the great sixties bands were "The Somethings".

Outspan Foster:
We could be... The Northsiders.

Derek:
Or The Liffy Lads.

Outspan Foster:
How about... The F***ing Eejits?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
[talking about kicking Ray out of the band] How did Ray take the news?

Derek:
Not too bad. Said he was goin' solo.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
He doesn't have much of a choice, does he?

Billy:
Commitments?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
It's a "the".

Deco:
How do you spell it?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
T-H-E.

[the band opens the "window" of the chippie van]

Rock Salmon Man:
Excuse me, would you have any Rock Salmon?

Dean Fay:
No, I'm sorry - we only have "Soul"!

Deco:
If I'm gonna front this band, I like the sound of "Deco."

Billy:
"Deco the bus conductor." Is that "top-Deco" or bottom-Deco"?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Who're you, then?

Joey:
Are you the one startin' the band?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Yeah.

Joey:
The name's Joseph Fagin. Joey "The Lips" Fagin.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
[sarcastically] And I'm Jimmy "The Bollocks" Rabbitte

Joey:
I get mine from my horn playing. How'd you get yours?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Don't get snotty with me.

Joey:
I get snotty with no man.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
[referring to Joey] What did Evel Knievel want?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
God sent him.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
What?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
God sent him.

Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.:
On a f***ing Suzuki?

Steve:
F***. F***. F***.

Natalie:
That's three Hail Marys for you tomorrow.

Imelda:
[about Deco] He eats like a pig.

Bernie:
He's such a prick.

Natalie:
Hasn't got the voice of a pig though. Joey says it belongs to God.

Billy:
God should ask for it back.

Natalie:
You all right, Jimmy?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Sure. They just get on my arse at times.

Natalie:
Wanna share a taxi home?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
For f***'s sake, Natalie. How could you ask me that after what I just said in there?

Natalie:
Well if you weren't the manager, would you?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Would I what?

Natalie:
...take me home?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
But I am the manager.

Billy:
And you... George Michael... you ever call me a f***in' eejit again, you'll go home with the drumsticks stuck up your hole... the one you don't sing out of.

Deco:
That'll be the day.

Billy:
I'm tellin' ya it's coming, so keep your Vaseline handy.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
Hi Imelda, You're Looking Deadly.

Imelda:
What are you doing here Jimmy Rabbitte?

Jimmy Rabbite:
Friend in the band.

Imelda:
You sure not a friend of my sister's?

Jimmy Rabbitte:
From what i heard, the fella she's marrying hardly knows her.

Imelda:
Cheeky Bastard.

Jimmy Rabbitte:
I suppose you'll be next?

Imelda:
Why me, I'm not bleedin pregnant.