The Courtship of Eddie's Father

[first lines]

Norman Jones:
Wake up Manhattan. Come out of that warm, rosy dream, open those big, luscious eyes and meet a new, exciting day. I'm talking to you ravishing, delicious, madcap girls still in that warm, cozy bed. Now what you need is a nice, hot cup of coffee, Bentley Coffee of course. That rich, intoxicating aroma, that tantalizing blend that makes the senses reel and the pulses tingle. [shouts] Look out! Don't burn those delicate, sensuous fingers. Why if anything should happen to those wild, impetuous hands, Jones would be heartbroken, Aw, did she hurt herself? Don't cry. Old Norm here will fix it. [sounds of kisses] There now, doesn't that feel better?

Tom Corbett:
[turns off radio] [writes himself a note] STOP NORM

[last lines]

Eddie:
It's Regent 4-8599

Tom Corbett:
[Dials phone]

Eddie:
[leaves apartment, rings Elizabeth's doorbell twice] You're phone's ringing.

Elizabeth Marten:
What?

Eddie:
Your telephone.

Elizabeth Marten:
No it's not, Eddie. [Phone rings]

Eddie:
You better pick it up, it could be important, very important. Hurry.

Elizabeth Marten:
Hello?

Mrs. Livingston:
Why, there's women who would marry you this very minute for the equipment you have in this apartment.

Elizabeth Marten:
[Elizabeth opens and closes the door. And walks up to Tom] Tom, I think he's going to be alright now.

Tom Corbett:
A fish is a fish!

Elizabeth Marten:
Tom.

Tom Corbett:
A fish is a fish! And his mother's his mother!

Elizabeth Marten:
That isn't the point.

Tom Corbett:
He doesn't even care about those damn fish! I have to tell him to feed half of the time it just takes him about two seconds to give him a little!

Elizabeth Marten:
He needed to cry!

Tom Corbett:
Well then cry according to the size of it!

Elizabeth Marten:
It doesn't work that way!

Tom Corbett:
Well I don't agree. Look if you're sad you cry. You don't save up your tears and go to a sad movie do you?

Elizabeth Marten:
But we do! We all do! Were do you think we get the tears we cry at a movie?

Tom Corbett:
Tears for a mother cannot be the same as tears for a fish!

Elizabeth Marten:
Oh Tom can't we talk about this calmly? I want to help so much.

Tom Corbett:
Thank you very much! And thank you for kind plus and your fudge but we're doing just fine.

Elizabeth Marten:
I'm very sorry for all of you! Please forgive me! [Elizabeth runs away from Tom, opens the door, goes back to her room and slams her door shut]