The Crimson Pirate

Vallo:
Why did you bolt your cabin door last night?

Consuelo:
If you knew it was bolted you must have tried it. If you tried it, you know why it was bolted.

Vallo:
[narrating] Remember, in a pirate ship, in pirate waters, in a pirate world, ask no questions. Believe only what you see. No, believe half of what you see.

Vallo:
You've sold me Humble Bellows - and to a king's flunky!

Humble Bellows:
Aye. 'Tis my modest opinion that no man can fly pirate colors who's not willing to sell his friend, his sweetheart, or his mother.

Baron Jose Gruda:
Well spoken, Mr. Bellows.

Vallo:
Foul spoken it is, Humble Bellows. You've turned your hand against your captain's back. Yellow was never a pirate's colour.

Slimy:
Nor rescuing a fair maiden a pirate caper.

Vallo:
Gather round, lads and lasses, gather round.

Baron Jose Gruda:
Bored?

La Signorita:
If only there were something to break the monotony of this voyage.

Vallo:
[drops in] Hands aloft, please.

Baron Jose Gruda:
You may be over-confident, Captain Vallo. There are 200 of the King's marines aboard this vessel.

Vallo:
And only 20 pirates. That puts the odds slightly in my favour. Better surrender the ship.

Humble Bellows:
Meantime, we got regular pirate business to settle. We got the plank, the culprit and the verdict. All we need's a trial, an execution and a sentence.

Slimy:
He's guilty!

Humble Bellows:
So much for the trial. Now for execution.

Humble Bellows:
There goes a good pirate, Stub Ear, to sell his wares like a fish peddler. Meaning no disrespect to the skipper, of course.

Stub Ear:
And us, with a price on our heads, hove to in one of His Majesty's ports like sitting ducks.

Poison Paul:
But if the skipper pulls us through again, we'll be the ducks what laid the golden eggs.

Humble Bellows:
Ye be thinking of geese, if you'll pardon the correction, Poison Paul. Geese... on a wild goose chase.

Pablo Murphy:
This one [indicates Ojo] can't talk and this one [points at Vallo] can't keep quiet.

rebel:
You killed Baron Gruda?

Vallo:
If I did a thing like that, you wouldn't need the guns I want to sell you. I'm a pirate, mate, not a dog killer!

Humble Bellows:
Be that bit of fluff El Libre?

Vallo:
That's the bit of fluff that's taking us to him.

Consuelo:
You are a fighter. Fight with us. Fight for something decent.

Vallo:
Not I. All my life I've watched injustice and dishonesty fly the flag of decency. I don't trust it.

Humble Bellows:
Thou hast a generous choice: the gallows, or the sea.

Prof. Prudence:
[walks to Vallo] If it won't crowd you?

Vallo:
I'd rather you weren't coming, but I don't want to seem inhospitable.

Baron Jose Gruda:
[on Vallo, Ojo and Professor Prudence, all in disguise as women] These peasant shapes are not to my taste.