The Dresden Files

Clive:
You brought them here!

Harry Dresden:
You brought *me* here, you idiot!

Natalie:
Hello, Mister Wizard.

Harry Dresden:
You're too young to remember that show.

Natalie:
I'm 57.

Bob:
Have you even considered the consequences here?

Harry Dresden:
Uh, haven't got around to that yet.

Bob:
Well let me enlighten you: If they catch you with her, she's dead, you're dead, and I'm homeless.

Bianca:
How do you live with him?

Harry Dresden:
Sometimes I wonder.

Bob:
Oh it's no walk in the park for me either, darling... Ever!

Bianca:
I have a very big problem.

Harry Dresden:
That's next door... we're small to medium problems here.

Harry Dresden:
What is it about bad girls? They lie, cheat, won't suck your blood even when you beg them to, and for some reason, no matter how badly they treat us, we still can't walk away.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] My father said there were no monsters. My uncle insisted monsters were real. And he should've known... because he was one. But he did teach me one thing: the only way to deal with the things we fear is to face them, to drag them kicking and screaming out of the darkness and destroy them.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] Killing someone, walking around in their skin - there's a pretty short list of things that can do that. A list of one: a skinwalker. You know the worst nightmare you ever had when you were little, the scariest thing you've ever imagined lurking in the closet or under the bed? A skinwalker is worse.

[first lines]

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] When I was a kid, my father told me there was no such thing as monsters; my nightmares were just figments of my imagination. As I got older, I had to wonder, was he lying to me... or just wrong?

Bob:
[Harry is trying to find Scott Sharpe] Find some organic residue and cast a searching spell. Perhaps the child left some snot underneath the diner table.

Harry Dresden:
Bob...

Bob:
What? Where there's children, there's snot!

Bob:
I call it the Doom Box.

Harry Dresden:
Catchy. What does it do?

[Bob is writing an elaborate formula onto thin air]

Bob:
Careful! These equations are very precise and if you walk through them, I will start belting show tunes from the 16th Century.

Harry Dresden:
Please - anything but that.

Harry Dresden:
I had that dream again about my dad.

Bob:
That's the third time this week. I'd say were moving away from dreams and into signs and portents.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
But we're sure this is the woman who lives here?

Detective Sid Kirmani:
I'll let you know when I find the face.

Melissa:
You want me to do an unauthorized records check in exchange for a chicken salad?

Harry Dresden:
It's not for me, it's just for the kid, you know.

Melissa:
No, just shut up and eat. Mainly, just shut up.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] I loved my father. He could sing like Sinatra... Unfortunately, he was a magician.

Colm Dresden:
Harry, I want you to listen to me, okay? What you can do, what you have, that is a loaded gun and there are people who will want that gun and they are going to want you to use it to do things that you're not going to want to do. You understand what I'm saying?

Young Harry Dresden:
No.

Colm Dresden:
Who you are, what you can do - you keep it to yourself, all right? You tell no one and you show no one, okay! Or I won't be able to protect you.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] All right, so just because I'm a wizard doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. Which leads me to the downside of my profession. If you're a janitor and you fail, someone winds up with gum on their shoe. If you're a wizard and you fail, someone can end up dead.

[to Bob as she brutally beats Harry]

Whitney Timmons:
Well, this must be torture for you. Once all powerful, now impotent. You're a shadow of your former self - literally, an inconsequential spirit.

Justin Morningway:
All I'm saying is my side of the family is well-versed in these situations.

Colm Dresden:
That didn't save his mother, did it?

Colm Dresden:
The only relationship I care about is with my son and *nothing* is going to make me give him up.

Justin Morningway:
You're making a serious mistake.

Colm Dresden:
Was that a threat? Because I'll do you one better. You stay away from him or I swear on my wife's soul I will kill you.

Scott Sharpe:
Harry! You won't believe what happened.

Harry Dresden:
Actually... I will.

Harry Dresden:
Okay, you gotta listen to me, kid. These guys, whatever you've seen, you gotta promise me you won't tell anyone about it. It's like Superman. It's like a second identity thing.

Scott Sharpe:
If I tell anyone about this, people will think I'm nuts.

Harry Dresden:
But you're not.

[Harry tosses Whitney the Doom Box]

Harry Dresden:
You want it? Catch. Pop goes the weasel.

Harry Dresden:
Bottom line is the kid is safe and the killer died in a gas explosion.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Pretty convenient explosion and I'm not big on convenience.

[Scott points to Bob's skull which has intricate symbols carved all over it]

Scott Sharpe:
Is this real?

Harry Dresden:
Yep.

Scott Sharpe:
What do all the designs mean?

Harry Dresden:
Please - don't - touch.

[last lines]

Sheryl Sharpe:
You were like him, weren't you, when you were little.

Harry Dresden:
Yeah, a bit.

Sheryl Sharpe:
Who looked out for you?

Harry Dresden:
My dad.

Sheryl Sharpe:
He loved you.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
[to Harry] Good morning. Do you want to see a dead body?

Detective Sid Kirmani:
I also got the victim's roommate.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
What's she doing here?

Detective Sid Kirmani:
Crying, mostly.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] There's an old saying, "Blood will out." With a little blood, a person like me can learn all kinds of things - and that goes double for a friend of mine, an expert in all things dead, which makes sense because he's dead himself.

Bob:
Dresden! Please don't drag me around like an in-bred cocker spaniel.

Harry Dresden:
Well, keep up!

[Bob touches Mina's blood and turns into an image of a werewolf]

Harry Dresden:
That was the girl?

Bob:
A lycanthrope. It's there - it's in her blood.

Harry Dresden:
How'd she die?

Bob:
I tasted silver.

Special Agent Kelly Raskin:
In your report, you state a Mr. Harry Dresden was with you at the crime scene.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Right.

Special Agent Kelly Raskin:
He calls himself a wizard.

Harry Dresden:
That's 'cause I am one.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Harry offers an unconventional point of view.

Special Agent Kelly Raskin:
And this case doesn't need one. I don't want you talking to him.

[to Harry]

Special Agent Kelly Raskin:
I know your type. You exploit fear and superstition. You're a parasite.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] Disbelief, skepticism - hey, I get it. If I didn't know what I know, I'd be skeptical, too. I usually don't bother to set people straight, but every once in a while, well, there's somebody I can't ignore.

Heather Bram:
I'm sorry, but what is it that you do that the cops can't.

Harry Dresden:
I see things from different perspective - from your perspective.

Heather Bram:
Why are you doing this?

Harry Dresden:
Because I'm the only one that can.

[after being bitten by a werewolf, Heather has a vision of her dead roommate]

Heather Bram:
Mina? This is a dream.

Mina Watkins:
The nightmare is when you wake up.

Heather Bram:
You killed Mina, didn't you?

Special Agent Zachary Bushnell:
I put her down - there's a difference.

Heather Bram:
You put her down like a dog?

Special Agent Zachary Bushnell:
Exactly.

Bob:
Where have you been?

Harry Dresden:
In jail. I escaped.

Bob:
You're a fugitive.

Harry Dresden:
That's the least of my problems. Heather's missing and the Fed in charge of this is a lycanthrope.

Bob:
They've killed eight lycanthropes? That's quite a tally.

[Harry stares off into space]

Bob:
...and I don't like that look.

Harry Dresden:
It's not a tally, it's a recipe.

Bob:
Recipe? For what?

Harry Dresden:
A cure. "Kill nine remove the sign" - the sign of the wolf.

[to the dying Bushnell, crying]

Special Agent Kelly Raskin:
I'm back. It's gone. I'm back! It's gone!

Harry Dresden:
No. Monster's still here.

Heather Bram:
I want to rip your throat out.

Harry Dresden:
I'm willing to take that risk.

Heather Bram:
I'm not!

Harry Dresden:
[to Heather] Feel that? That is your heart and it's a good heart. It's strong and it's in control and you're in control. And you own this... this disease. I've known others like you and they've made it.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
You're no longer Public Enemy Number One.

Harry Dresden:
Well, at least not in their books. So, what's gonna happen to Raskin?

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Well, if she ever gets out of the strait jacket in the rubber room, three states are looking to pursue the penalty. Bushnell was the lucky one.

Heather Bram:
Now you're repeating yourself.

Harry Dresden:
If I keep talking you don't leave.

[last lines]

Bob:
She'll be back.

Harry Dresden:
Yeah, maybe... but maybe some day, she'll slip up and I'll have to hunt her down and kill her.

Harry Dresden:
Hair, blood. For a wizard, they're like the keys to your car. The wrong person gets them and he can take you for a ride, one way, to the desert outside of Vegas, and your very own, newly dug, six by two hole in the ground. Now, thanks to Gimpy, Victor had my hair and my blood, which meant my grave was already being excavated and I had to make sure it stayed empty.

Bob:
And, so far, all you've managed to accomplish is getting your wand destroyed, alienating Murphy, losing a client, and attracting the attention of someone who treats helions as his own personal lapdogs.

Harry Dresden:
Not a bad days work, huh?

Bob:
Oh, no. I think you've botched this one very nicely! So, my advice for you; take the low road for once. Let it go, Harry.

Harry Dresden:
Yeah, you're right. I mean, the last thing I need is to get caught up in a power struggle between two hellions or hung up on a girl with a thing for badboys, right? I mean, some of them, they just can't be saved. [looks at Bob]

Bob:
You're going to try to save her.

Harry Dresden:
Yeah.

Bob:
Of course.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] Remember what I said about attraction, about the difference between fantasy and reality? The fantasy is girl meets boy they fall in love and live happily ever after. The reality is girl meets hellion, girl gets kidnapped, wizard has to save her before she ends up dead - or worse.

[first lines]

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] So what is it that attracts one person to another? Is it the long silky hair, the lips like wine, the legs that seem to go on forever? Well, those all work for me. The truth is attraction - chemical, physical, spiritual - that's the easy part. The trouble is when the fantasy wears off and the reality sets in.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] Scrying for beginners: You get a piece of someone, you boil it up, add crystal. Then you track them down. Pretty basic stuff. So finding Primko should have been easy money. Should have been. But my visions of easy money went up in smoke the second I got the telltale whiff of death, damnation and...

[Harry spots the cremated body of a hellion]

Harry Dresden:
[spoken] Brimstone. Aw, hell.

Bob:
Was she built?

Harry Dresden:
Will you stop it?

Bob:
Simple question.

Harry Dresden:
She fired me.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
The touch of the master.

Sirota:
Sorry things got a little rough in the apartment. Let me make it up to you. Can I get you a virgin?

Harry Dresden:
No, thanks. I'm fine.

Sirota:
Tell me - are you really good at finding things?

Harry Dresden:
You can't afford me.

Sirota:
What is the price were... Caryn Harris?

Harry Dresden:
So, ah, I find your chain, deliver it to you and you guarantee the girl walks away unharmed? A deal with the devil.

Sirota:
It's a little gentlemen's agreement.

Harry Dresden:
Is that what you call the arrangement with the High Council?

Morgan:
It's more of an understanding.

Harry Dresden:
You people...

[indicating a Catholic church]

Harry Dresden:
No self-respecting hellspawn would be caught dead in there.

Sister Beatrice:
It saddens me when love turns to hate...

Harry Dresden:
Me, too.

Sister Beatrice:
...but just as mysteriously, hate can turn to love. When that happens you're in the presence of a miracle.

Matthew Jacobs:
What are you going to do?

Harry Dresden:
Doublecross the villain. Always makes for an interesting evening.

[with Harry and Caryn's help, Matthew lays out a magic circle to help him regain his soul]

Harry Dresden:
There's not going to be any world-ending explosion here, is there?

Matthew Jacobs:
I don't think so, but then I've never done this before.

Caryn Harris:
Well, I hope not. I'd like to think I was the first.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
What are you not telling me?

Harry Dresden:
I'm not telling you.

[last lines]

[Harry gives Murphy a slice of key lime pie]

Lt. Connie Murphy:
I have a job to do here, Harry.

Harry Dresden:
Yeah? So do I... Dig in.

Harry Dresden:
Well, I'm off the case.

Bob:
Well that's never stopped you before

Harry Dresden:
Yeah, but I've never gotten Murphy in this much trouble before.

Harry Dresden:
Possibly. But you know what they say about life...

Bob:
Tell me.

Harry Dresden:
One to a customer. [destroys enchanted branding iron]

Lt. Connie Murphy:
So, what do you see?

Harry Dresden:
[wearing Murphy's sunglasses, which he's enchanted] Just the world. Slightly darker.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Smart-ass.

Bob:
And, uh, the Kiss?

Harry Dresden:
I needed the jolt.

Bob:
Oh, that's good, that's rich. I never heard that one before.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Thank you Harry. For everything... and I'm sorry.

Harry Dresden:
For what?

Lt. Connie Murphy:
For slapping you. It won't happen again.

Harry Dresden:
Murphy, well you need a warrant, right? You're not just gonna... you're not just - [Just as Murphy kicks in the suspect's apartment door]

Harry Dresden:
[Murphy steps in gun pointed in front] You don't have to announce or anything?

Lt. Connie Murphy:
[Drawls] Police.

Harry Dresden:
The High Council. Capital H, Capital C. Cue ominous music. It's kind of like the Bar Association for wizards. They provide oversight; they administer the entrance exams and try to basically keep all this magick stuff out of sight and under control. The good guys, theoretically. But cross them and you'll wish you'd never slung a spell.

Harry Dresden:
These people weren't stabbed, Murphy. Nothing touched them. Their hearts exploded out of their chests. There's only one thing that could do that.

Kirmani:
A microwave?

Harry Dresden:
Okay, Um, technically I'm not supposed to talk about this stuff with civilians... so you'll have to pretend like you don't believe a word I'm saying.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
I think I can manage that.

Harry Dresden:
[to Susan, after she has been injured by a demon] You just stay here and rest. And remember, if a big, hairy monster comes and sits on your chest... it's just my cat.

Harry Dresden:
[Yelling in a Police District full of people] I got a message from beyond the grave.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
[Whispering] Get out.

Harry Dresden:
Well, give me the file and I'll be gone.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
I can't do that.

Harry Dresden:
You're a cop, Murphy, you can do anything.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
I can't make you go away.

Harry Dresden:
Most people will drop it, right here, right now, no questions asked. Unfortunately, I'm not most people. When someone says stop, somewhere between my ear and my brain, what I hear is "full speed ahead."

Bob:
[after Harry has explained that he got beaten up by a ghost] Maybe she wanted company. You know, I'm not doing anything. Maybe I could find her frequency. Chat her up.

Harry Dresden:
Her father would love that.

Bob:
It could be our secret.

[first lines]

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] Putting "Wizard" on your door is like putting up a sign that says "Lunatics Welcome." Not that all my clients are crazy. But they all think I'm a little crazy. They ask me to cast spells, move objects without touching them, and of course see dead people. Hey, don't get me wrong, I can do most of that stuff, but when it comes to dealing with ghosts, let's just say I'd rather get a root canal.

[referring to Bob]

Harry Dresden:
Not all ghosts are spooky, or have unfinished business. Some are just annoying. Especially when the ghost has 1,000 years of supernatural knowledge he feels compelled to share. Constantly.

Harry Dresden:
She won't move on. She wanted me to see that Boone was on a mission. Oh, something's not right.

Bob:
Oh, I see another quixotic crusade looming on the horizon.

Harry Dresden:
So do I.

[Pulling a bag from an evidence box and reading the label]

Marie:
A fragmented 14 by 10 inch Egyptian tablet known as "The Lock of Anabass... Ane...?"

Harry Dresden:
Anubis, the Egyptian god of the dead. It had the body of a man and the head of a jackal.

Marie:
My, my. Well, I wouldn't care what his head looked like as long as he had the ass of Brad Pitt.

Harry Dresden:
He needs a clearer picture of how Boone died.

Edward Miller:
In an explosion of blood and brain matter.

[the lights in Charles's shop suddenly go out when Harry discovers a clue]

Charles Harding:
Lisa? Was that Lisa?

Harry Dresden:
I think that was a nudge in the right direction.

Lucas Sabin:
Have you ever been to prison, Mr. Dresden?

Harry Dresden:
No.

Lucas Sabin:
Violence and tedium - they are the major threats against health and sanity. As it turned out, Boone was a reasonable protection against both. During the day, he watch my back and at night he listened to my ramblings. Over time I believe he actually grew to appreciate my particular interests.

Harry Dresden:
Those being ancient Egyptian funerary rights?

Lucas Sabin:
It's not a crime.

Harry Dresden:
Not unless you practice on live people.

Harry Dresden:
[narrating] Dying hadn't changed Gus Boone a bit. He was still a thug and an armed robber - and now he'd stolen Murphy's body and I had to get him out before he traded her in for a new model.

Bob:
A voodoo doll? How completely irresponsible of you. So you're going to reach out and touch Boone by bringing pain to Murphy's body.

Bob:
Harry, that's black magic and you cannot afford to dabble in the black!

Harry Dresden:
I need a way to convince Boone that he can run, but he can't hide. With th...

Bob:
With that you run the risk of alerting the High Council and falling prey to your darker desires.

Harry Dresden:
Do I have a choice? Huh? I got a dead billionaire. I got a possessed cop. I got a psychotic killer on the loose and in four hours, he''s going to meet up with a Vegas tycoon and he's going to jump into him and, in the process, he's going to blow Murphy's brains out! Now, have you got any better advice, Bob?

Bob:
That Egyptian mumbo-jumbo's not my forte.

Harry Dresden:
No... It's Saban's.

[referring to the Tablet of Anubis]

Harry Dresden:
So, it's like a get out of death free card.

Lucas Sabin:
If you need such an imbecilic crutch to grasp the concept, yes.

[Boone has inhabited Murphy's body]

Lt. Connie Murphy:
You're not dead.

Harry Dresden:
I'm a wizard - deal with it.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Really?

Harry Dresden:
Uh-huh. Really truly.

Charles Harding:
Whatever it is that you do - is it real?

Harry Dresden:
Yeah.

Charles Harding:
And how long have you been doing it.

Harry Dresden:
Since I was a kid.

Charles Harding:
And do you always help people.

Harry Dresden:
Not always. Especially one time with an uncle. He had other ideas about how best to use my abilities.

Charles Harding:
Where is he now?

Harry Dresden:
Dead.

Lisa Harding:
[to her father] I love you.

[last lines]

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Could you made me a promise?

Harry Dresden:
Yeah.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
After tonight, if I go back to work...

Harry Dresden:
Hey! When...

Lt. Connie Murphy:
...when. Promise you will never lie to me about anything... ever... again.

Harry Dresden:
Murphy.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Goodnight, Harry.

Harry Dresden:
Murphy...

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Harry, I keep dreaming about you.

Harry Dresden:
Good dreams, bad dreams, what you got?

Lt. Connie Murphy:
I don't know. Sometimes you're pretty scary in them; other times not so much. But in all of them you're... performing.

Harry Dresden:
Like on a stage or what?

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Like miracles. Weird, huh?

Harry Dresden:
Yeah, that's weird.

Marie:
Gus Boone. He served five years for aggravated assault and he got out and he killed a girl the next day. He got what he deserved. Blown to bits by one of Chicago's most eligible batchelors, Edward Miller.

Harry Dresden:
Who is this guy?

Marie:
Well, if you were a single woman you'd know. But you're a single man, right? How's you salami? Sandwich, I mean.

Charles Harding:
Boone, Gus Boone. He'd just gotten out of prison. There used to be a jewelry store next door. The police think maybe he got confused, came in here and panicked. Killed Lisa. And then took something he though he could sell.

Harry Dresden:
What was that?

Charles Harding:
An engraved stone tablet - Egyptian. I had it under glass. It must have caught his eye, but he dropped it in the alley. The cops found it smashed to pieces.

Harry Dresden:
Cops caught the guy?

Charles Harding:
No.

Harry Dresden:
Well, if Lisa's killer went unpunished that might be enough to keep her spirit here.

Charles Harding:
Boone is dead. He left here and he carjacked a guy at gunpoint. There was a struggle. Boone's shotgun went off in his own face.

[Boone's shots at Harry lodge in his bracelet]

Harry Dresden:
Hey, what do ya know? I'm alive. Saved by one of the tools of the trade - the shield bracelet I inherited from my mother. Thanks, Mom!

Harry Dresden:
Can you check the garlic bread?

Bob:
Why? I'm not eating.

Bob:
Life is pain. So's dinner. You've burnt your garlic bread.

Harry Dresden:
What did you find out about Overland?

Liz Fontaine:
Oh, he had his license to practice medicine revoked by the state of California... do you know how bad you have to be for *California* to shut you down?

Harry Dresden:
Here's what I need you to do. I need you to lie low, stay out of the way. I need you to tell me if you NOTICE anything.

Bob:
You want me to spy.

Harry Dresden:
Pretty much.

Bob:
How clandestine!

Bob:
Has anyone ever explained the concept of cost benefit analysis to you?

Harry Dresden:
I dropped out of High School, remember?

Bob:
And you wonder why your life is an unending series of insurmountable intellectual, financial, and emotional hurdles.

Harry Dresden:
I think the ship has kinda sailed, you know. The barn doors open, the cows are out and the bag is really devoid of cats!

Harry Dresden:
Murphy, I am not responsible for every single weird thing that happens in Chicago.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
Just most of them.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
[Morgan enters with his sword] Chicago PD. Put down your... your sword.

Harry Dresden:
[voice over] And these guys? No clue. But they probably don't like me either.

Harry Dresden:
We come here, we do this life thing, and then we go back.

Morgan:
You don't frighten me, Dresden.

Harry Dresden:
Really? 'Cause I scare the hell out of myself sometimes.

Harry Dresden:
My soul's not entirely dark, Morgan.

Morgan:
Glad to hear it.

Morgan:
Somethings never change. Always blowing things up.

Harry Dresden:
I'm not always blowing things up.

Morgan:
[sarcastically] Right, sometimes you set things on fire.

Lt. Connie Murphy:
[seeing Bob] He just walked through a wall.

Harry Dresden:
He's a ghost, it's a long story.

Harry Dresden:
I dropped out of high school, remember?

Bob:
And you wonder why your life is an unending series of insurmountable intellectual, financial and emotional hurdles.

Bob:
[sarcastically] Well, that's a happy thought.

Bob:
We are for all intents and purposes... in Hell.

Morgan:
I'm listening to jazz and thinking.

Bob:
[Harry is breaking objects] Those things are expensive you know.

Bob:
Well, you don't see *that* everyday.

Harry Dresden:
[near to crying, with Bob in his arms] Please don't die on me, Bob.

Bob:
[his body disappears and he comes back as a ghost] That is really touching.

Harry Dresden:
Bob! That's not fair. You...

Bob:
[his hand goes through his skull] Once cursed, always cursed.

Young Harry Dresden:
[finishes writing symbols on the blackboard] did i get it?

Bob:
Well, that all depends... Are you trying to affect a human being or turn a Walnut inside out?