The End

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I'm talking about dying.

Marty Lieberman:
What do you mean?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I mean lying in the ground with dirt on your face and holding your breath forever.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
[trying to drown] I want to live. I want to live.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
Fifty percent, Lord! I'm talking gross!

Marlon Borunki:
[Sonny is running away] That man's nuts! Grab 'im!

Marlon Borunki:
You sure got a lotta rules about pee'in.

Jessica Lawson:
Sleepig pills? Oh, Sonny, why do you need sleeping pills? If you would just go on a good diet.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
Dont lecture me from classes I paid for!

Jessica Lawson:
What's the matter, Wendell?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I don't feel good.

Jessica Lawson:
[pouring a shake into a glass] Here, why don't you drink this? It'll make you feel better. [Wendell drinks it and then gags quietly]

Jessica Lawson:
Why don't you borrow some pills from your folks? They're hypocondriacs.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
My folks are not hypocondriacs! You always call them hypocondriacs! They might have a couple downers, though.

Jessica Lawson:
Sonny, why are you here?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I told you, I have something to discuss with Julie. It's very important.

Jessica Lawson:
Will it depress me?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
God, I hope so.

Jessica Lawson:
Then would you save it until tomorrow? I have had a bad day. Julie woke up at 5:30, this morning, screaming tha the shark was after her again. I'll never forgive you for taking her to see that movie. You know she's afraid of te water anyway.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I'm sorry, Jessie. I took her to see it because she wanted to. I was trying to make her happy.

Jessica Lawson:
Oh, she'll say yes to look brave to you. You're so dumb.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I will not be called "dumb" by the woman that I support!

Jessica Lawson:
Shhh! The maid is taking a nap.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I support the maid too!

Jessica Lawson:
You wake up Maria, Sonny I'll...

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
We fired Maria!

Jessica Lawson:
This is another Maria!

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
Oh.

Jessica Lawson:
Julie's screaming woke her up at 5:30 in the morning, too. Then Maria starting screaing because she thught it was the Border Patrol. [She then notices her date arriving] That's my date. Now will you just get out of here, please?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
No. [Jessica screams aggravately, then Sonny laughs]

Jessica Lawson:
Why don't do you just drop dead? [Throws her apron at Sonny's head]

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
[Muffled] I'm working on it!

Marlon Borunki:
[Talking about why he strangled his father, which caused him to be put in the mental institution] You know, a lot of doctors have different theories about why I did it: Mother complex. Father complex. Feelings of inferiority. Suppressed rage. But I, and I alone, know the reason that I did it... It was because... he was so Polish!

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
[a bit confused] "Polish"?

Marlon Borunki:
When I was a kid, I was tormented with Polish jokes. Oh, you know, "Who was Poland's Man of the Year?" - Nobody. "How do you sing the Polish National Anthem?" - Ya' don't sing it, ya' fart it. "How do you tell a Polack's identification?" - By the sh*t in his wallet. [starts to sob]

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
[Grudgingly showing some sympathy] Kids can be very cruel.

Marlon Borunki:
What "kids"? My father told me those! He was ALWAYS teasing me! He was a big, loud, hairy, sweaty... POLACK!... He was covered with sweat, always. The only man I know who could sweat... while he was swimming! And I could NEVER have friends over because... he'd challenge them to a nose-picking contest... and he always won!

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
[while out in the ocean] Oh, God! Let me live, and I promise to obey every one of the Ten Commandments. I shall not kill... I shall not commit adultery... I shall not... I... uh... [apparently forgetting the remaining eight Commandments]

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I'll *learn* the Ten Commandments, and *then* I'll obey every f***ing one of them!

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
So you got the calling?

Father Dave Benson:
Well, it was more of a whisper.

Marlon Borunki:
It's very interesting the way you woke up cursing. A large percentage of attempted suicides wake up with exclamations of hostility.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
Where am I?

Marlon Borunki:
92% of them ask that. You're in La Playa.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
The nut house?

Marlon Borunki:
That's a cruel label. We prefer, booby hatch.

Marlon Borunki:
Sane people make a lot of crazy rules. Do you like me?

[last lines]

Marlon Borunki:
You don't like me any more.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I like ya, Marlon. I like ya, I really do.

Marlon Borunki:
You do?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I do. But you gotta understand. Tell me you understand.

Marlon Borunki:
I understand. I love ya, Sonny. I really do.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I love ya to, Marlon.

Marlon Borunki:
I love ya, Sonny.

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I love you too.

Marlon Borunki:
[hugging then Marlon suddenly pulls a knife] Surprise! [and chases Sonny down the beach]

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
Mom, I've been having trouble getting sleep lately. Do you have any sleeping pills?

Maureen Lawson:
Sleeping pills? I don't think we have any sleeping pills do we, Ben?

Ben Lawson:
Your know darn well we have enough sleeping pills in there to put the whole Mormon Tabernacle Choir in a coma!

Marlon Borunki:
You're right! It's not high enough!

Marlon Borunki:
Do you think we'll ever change to the metric system?

Mary Ellen:
Sonny, you are driving me crazy!

Hospital Orderly:
What did you do to him?

Wendell Sonny Lawson:
I liked him!