The Final Countdown

Captain Yelland:
This is the captain, I am speaking to every man aboard this ship. In the past few hours many things have happened; rumors of nuclear attacks and a third world war are totally untrue. We have no reason to believe that any aggression has been taken against our homes our families. I believe what we stumbled across is not man-made but a phenomena of nature, one that can't be explained. This phenomena is the storm in which the Nimitz went through less than 18 hours ago, the storm has had some effect on time as we know it, it created a portal, a door into another era. Today is December 7, 1941... I'm sure we are all aware of the significance of this date in this place in history. We are going to fight a battle that was lost before most of you were born. This time, with God's help, its going to be different... Good Luck.

[an F-14 pilot is reporting the identity of a pair of enemy planes to Captain Yelland over the radio]

Captain Yelland:
Alert 1 this is Eagle 1, what've you got?

Pilot:
Two Japanese Zeroes, sir.

Captain Yelland:
Two what?

Pilot:
Two Trophy Class Mitsubishi A6Ms in original condition, complete with all markings. I mean, they look brand new sir!

Captain Yelland:
Have you been spotted?

Pilot:
Negative, we're right in the sun at their 6 o'clock high.

Captain Yelland:
Stay in visual contact, take no action without clearance.

Pilot:
Wilco Eagle 1, out.

[one of the F-14's barely dodges a burst of gunfire from one of the Zeroes]

Pilot:
Why the hell are we playing with these guys?

[Trying to warn Pearl Harbor of the impending Japanese attack]

Senator Chapman:
This is, uh, Senator Samuel S. Chapman, of the United States Senate on board the aircraft carrier Nimitz. Captain Yelland is here with me.

Pearl Harbor Radio Operator:
You're on a what?

Senator Chapman:
I repeat. I am Senator Samuel S. Chapman onboard the U.S.S. Nimitz.

Pearl Harbor Radio Operator:
Alright, whoever the hell you are. Use of military frequencies by unauthorized personnel is a felony.

Senator Chapman:
Now listen here, sir!

Pearl Harbor Radio Operator:
As we have no aircraft carrier Nimitz and no Captain Yelland I suggest, a**hole, that you stop impersonating some other a**hole and get off the air! You're wasting our time!

Senator Chapman:
How dare you talk to me that way!

Captain Yelland:
If the United States falls under attack our job is to defend her in the past, present and future.

Lasky:
And after that?

Captain Yelland:
After that, we take our orders from the Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces.

Lasky:
Franklin Delano Roosevelt?

[after receiving the order to abort the attack on the Japanese Task Force]

Strike Leader:
Read you loud and clear. Strike force, this is strike leader. Return to base, mission aborted.

F-14 pilot #1:
Mission aborted? But we can see 'em!

F-14 pilot #2:
They're gonna let the Japs do it again.

[first lines]

F-14 Pilot:
[voice over radio] Pearl Tower, Tomcat two-zero-zero. requesting clearance for departure runway zero-nine. Over.

Pearl Harbor Tower:
[voice over radio] Two-zero-zero, Pearl Harbor Tower. You are cleared runway oh-niner. Winds zero-four-five at eight. SH-three approaching from the right. Have a nice day.

[last lines]

Commander Richard Owens:
Welcome back, Mr. Lasky.

Lasky:
Laurel, Commander Owens.

Commander Richard Owens:
Please join us. We have a lot to talk about.

F-14 pilot #1:
[the Japanese Zeroes have just destroyed the Yacht] They blew it to pieces! They must've hit the fuel tank!

Captain Yelland:
Any survivors?

F-14 pilot #1:
Stand by... Affirmative. One, two, three Mae West. Hey wait a minute! Those bastards are turning back, they're gonna strafe them in the water! Request permission to arm and fire!

Captain Yelland:
Eagle Control to Alert One, you are clear to arm, but don't fire. Throw them off, play with them, but do not fire.

F-14 pilot #1:
Affirmative!

[the F-14's proceed to intercept the Zeroes]

Air Boss:
[the A-7 has just landed after the first time storm] Crash on deck, crash on deck, all personnel respond now! Let's get out there and watch for fire!

Pilot:
[the Corsair is inbound to the Nimitz before the first time storm] Nimitz, this is 412, I have an unsafe hook indicator, over.

Air Boss:
412, roger unsafe hook. Recycle your hook.

Pilot:
Negative, I've tried that.

Air Ops Officer:
412, your transmission's poor, say your fuel state.

Air Boss:
[over the intercom to the bridge] Captain, Boss, that Corsair's in real trouble, can't get his tailhook down. I think we better take him in the barricade.

Captain Yelland:
Rig it!

Lasky:
Still think it's a dream?

Captain Yelland:
It's a nightmare.

F-14 pilot #1:
Say, Fox... that woke 'em up

F-14 pilot #2:
Yeah, but I think we should give 'em another shot!

Captain Yelland:
Lasky, you've been a pain-in-the-ass... but I'm glad to have known you.

Lasky:
Thank you, Captain. I appreciate that.

Captain Yelland:
Good luck to you

Charlie The Dog:
WOOF!

Captain Yelland:
And you, too!

[the Tomcats have just destroyed the Zeroes]

F-14 pilot #1:
Eagle Control, Alert One. Splash two, repeat, splash two. Possibly one survivor in the water.

Lasky:
[a captured Japanese prisoner is holding a captive and is demanding access to a radio] Why don't you tell him what's going on here, Commander? You're an expert on what's gonna happen tomorrow; tell him about it, for God's sakes. Go on, tell him! We got nothing to lose!

Captain Yelland:
[Owens looks at Yelland, who nods] Go ahead, tell him.

Commander Richard Owens:
[hesitates, then looks directly at the Japanese prisoner] 26 November, six carriers left the Kuril Isles north of Japan. The carriers were the Akagi, Kaga, Shokaku, Zuikaku, Hiryu, Soryu. Tomorrow at dawn, these carriers will send 353 planes to attack Pearl Harbor.

Senator Chapman:
[staring, stunned] How in the hell do you know all that?

Commander Richard Owens:
Your code is "Climb Mount Niitaka." Niitakayama nobore!

[the Japanese prisoner, looking horrified, slowly lowers the gun and is shot to death by security crew]

Lasky:
Think of the history of the next forty years...

Commander Richard Owens:
I have a suspicion history will be a little more difficult to beat, than you imagine Mr. Lasky.

Lasky:
I'm talking about the classic paradox of time. Imagine, for example, I go back in time and meet my own Grandfather. Long before he got married, before he had children. And we have an argument, and I kill him. Now if that happens, how am I ever going to be born? And if I can never be born, how can I go back in history and meet my very own Grandfather?

Commander Richard Owens:
[angrily] I'm not half the theorist you are, Mr. Lasky. But I still have a gut instinct that things only happen once. And if they have happened, then there's nothing we can do to change them. Nor should we try.

Lasky:
Well, how are you going to avoid it? It's already happening, and we're already involved!

Commander Dan Thurman:
For Christ's sake! What is this, some half-assed Princeton debating society? We are in a war situation! This is a United States warship! Or, at least, it used to be. Or will be. Or what the hell ever! Oh, Goddammit, you can drive yourself crazy just trying to think about this stuff! [shouts] Jesus, I must be dreaming!

Rochester:
[radio episode of The Jack Benny Program] Boss, it's no use. I've tried and tried and I can't get Carmichael to go to sleep.

Jack Benny:
Rochester, that poor bear's just got to go to sleep. He's supposed to have been in hibernation over ten days ago.

Commander Dan Thurman:
[in disbelief] Jack Benny?

Rochester:
Huh-huh!

Jack Benny:
Where's he now?

Rochester:
Sitting up in bed reading Esquire. [audience laughter]

Jack Benny:
Esquire? Well, take it away from him.

Rochester:
Oh, come now, boss. He's been around!

Senator Chapman:
[Arthur leers at Laurel] Arthur! will you leave the girl enough clothes on not to catch cold? She's too valuable to me right now.

Arthur:
Have you slept with her yet?

Senator Chapman:
What kind of question is that to ask a married man?

Arthur:
Ha-ha! You son-of-a-gun!

Senator Chapman:
Think I'd better go check what she's doing.

Arthur:
Oh, sure!

Senator Chapman:
Arthur, have another drink and stop thinking about how much everyone else is getting. See you later.

Public Address Sailor:
General quarters, general quarters! All hands man your battlestations! Go up and forward on your starboard side, down and aft on your port side! General quarters, general quarters!

Lasky:
What the hell's going on?

Marine Cpl. Kullman:
General quarters sir, come with me!

Air Boss:
[Over PA to flight deck crew] On the flight deck, we have an A-7 Corsiar in trouble, can't get his tail hook down. This is not a drill, repeat, this is not a drill. Now, rig the barricade! Foul deck, foul deck, this is no drill!