The Finder

Walter Sherman:
You're easier to read than a large-print Harlan Coben novel.

Ira Messing:
I will pay you $10,000. And after your death, I can arrange to have your ashes shot into the sun.

Leo Knox:
Wow. How can you refuse an offer like that?

John Fogerty's Manager:
Walter, is it true? You found it?

Walter Sherman:
Yeah, I always find what I'm looking for. It's a fact of nature, like, uh, the world turning and internet porn.

Leo Knox:
If you lied to us, I'll bring you back to life so they can electrocute you again.

Leo Knox:
Do we need to have a talk about boys and beach parties?

Willa Monday:
Ew.

Deputy U.S. Marshal Isabel Zambada:
It's not like you, you know, you're... It's not... You've been around.

Willa Monday:
Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, creepy older brother. Thanks, eavesdropping shrink, but I got the sex stuff covered. So...

Leo Knox:
She's being sarcastic and metaphoric.

Walter Sherman:
Willa is probably a virgin and will remain one until she's married off to a nice gypsy boy. Right?

Willa Monday:
Again, ew.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
Have you ever contemplated suicide?

Leo Knox:
During the darkest hours after the loss of my wife and child - yes, I did.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
I meant Mr. Sherman.

Walter Sherman:
Ah Hell, I can think of at least 10 people before I'd kill myself.

Walter Sherman:
Say "Edible oil air sucks cheese sub product."

Dr. Lance Sweets:
What? [Walter takes Sweets's picture]

Dr. Lance Sweets:
Suffer any memory loss?

Walter Sherman:
Don't remember.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
Have you ever tried to kill some flies with rubber bands?

Walter Sherman:
Tried - no. Succeeded - yes.

Walter Sherman:
Cause I'll die before I don't find something.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
Do I really have to tell you that dying is not a healthy response?

Walter Sherman:
Say you're a bad guy. You shoot at a cop. Cop shoots back. You got a bullet inside you. Can't go to the hospital, they report that sort of stuff. So where you gonna go?

Dr. Lance Sweets:
Veterinarian!... I can evaulate and help, you know. I do it all the time at home.

Walter Sherman:
Bad guy kills the vet to wipe the trail clean.

Deputy U.S. Marshal Isabel Zambada:
Yeah, okay. I've got to admit. Sounds very Florida.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
Do you now feel compelled to find this second bullet?

Walter Sherman:
No.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
That's good.

Walter Sherman:
I feel impelled. [Walter leaves]

Deputy U.S. Marshal Isabel Zambada:
So... is that better?

Dr. Lance Sweets:
No, not in the least.

Bronski:
Damn! That makes sense.

Fontana:
Internal Affairs, man. Who watches the watchers?

Walter Sherman:
Detective Coleman?

Henry Barns:
Yeah?

Walter Sherman:
Right now all we have is circumstantial evidence that you shot Hogan.

Walter Sherman:
That was enough to put Ross on Death Row.

Walter Sherman:
Well, if you shoot me, it's definite. You really want to kill me that badly?

Henry Barns:
You're annoying as Hell! It might be worth it.

Walter Sherman:
You think he's that crazy?

Dr. Lance Sweets:
His eerie calm implies either fatalistic acceptance of his fate... or a psychotic break.

Walter Sherman:
Eh. I'm gonna risk it.

Dr. Lance Sweets:
How could you not wanna know? I mean, this is a whole murder mystery.

Deputy U.S. Marshal Isabel Zambada:
Walter doesn't care about murder mysteries.

Walter Sherman:
I really don't.

Leo Knox:
Walter just likes to find things.

Deputy U.S. Marshal Isabel Zambada:
Does that make Walter crazy?

Dr. Lance Sweets:
I feel someone is crazy in all this. I just hope it's not me.

Willa Monday:
[Speaking to her Probation Officer] You think a hurricane can stop Walter from finding Melissa Welling?

Walter Sherman:
[Speaking to Big Glade] Look. I can find things if I'm interested. But if I'm not motivated, meh.

Athena Brookes:
Mr. Sherman, would it motivate you if I told you that I know Leo Knox personally?

Pope:
Finding things is all well and good when indeed those things have been lost. Mr. Sherman, you should concentrate on what I am saying. Not everything that is missing is lost. Some things have been hidden, and some of those hidden things are not to be found. They shouldn't even be looked for. I'm the person who hides those things.

Walter Sherman:
You're my opposite.

Pope:
Yes. We're at odds in our life's journeys.

["Designated Hitter vs Al-Qaeda" is written on the blackboard]

Walter Sherman:
It's a no-brainer. There is nothing more anti-American than the designated hitter.

Leo Knox:
Al-Qaeda is more anti-American than anything.

Walter Sherman:
This country was founded on a celebration of our individual freedoms. The designated hitter puts the team's collective success over that of the individual. Can't bat? Oh, don't worry. We'll just have somebody else do that part of your job for you so we can all win together. There's another name for that, Leo: Communism.

Willa Monday:
Is it true that Frankie Heywood was here? He's hot. Where did he sit?

Leo Knox:
Green chair. [to Walter] You can't get any more anti-American than actually trying to destroy America.

Willa Monday:
Look at me. I'm sitting where Frankie Heywood sat.

Walter Sherman:
Al-Qaeda's doomed to failure. They're hiding in caves. Designated hitters walk amongst us as heroes. It's subversive.

Walter Sherman:
I'm sorry. I just don't see the resemblance at all.

Bobby the Twin:
Just because we're twins doesn't mean we're related, idiot!

Tyson the Twin:
We both are twins - just not with each other.

Walter Sherman:
All right, well, where are your brothers?

Bobby the Twin:
You mean my *sister*?

Walter Sherman:
You know what? Just stab me. I can't talk about this anymore.

Walter Sherman:
[Asking his dying father] Do you want me to find something?

Langston Sherman:
[Answering for his father] Someone. Our mother.

Walter Sherman:
Mom? Nope. I'm not finding mom.

Leo Knox:
[Speaking with Walter] Some people don't know how happy they are until they mess it up.

Isabel Zambada:
[Disconnected from a telephone call with Walter] Walter? Wait! I gotta go. Nice talk.

Willa Monday:
Yeah. Great talk. I feel better.

Isabel Zambada:
What's Walter gonna find what 3 super computers and the secret service missed?

Walter Sherman:
Bingo! This art student bought 200 pounds of paper, ordered to his school, but not through his school, thus sacrificing a student discount

Isabel Zambada:
What?

Walter Sherman:
Amount of paper plus art student divided by delivery to school times cash payment minus the square root of very suspicious behavior equals one counterfeiter!

Leo Knox:
Waltermath! It never fails!

Walter Sherman:
[Asking Isabel] What does she want me to find?

Joyce Weatherby:
I want you to find whoever killed my father.

Walter Sherman:
Sorry. I don't find murderers.

Leo Knox:
Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

Willa Monday:
Meaning...

Leo Knox:
Which means the system is an uphill climb for the likes of you, but I have faith in your journey.

Leo Knox:
Why did you agree to help? For Marcos?

Alejandro Lopez-Fernando:
I wanted to make this one more time. Just like a house is not a home, food is not a meal, not without people. Mmm?

Walter Sherman:
[Viewing a photograph] Oh, that's not attractive.

Xavier Obispo:
It's a voodoo doll of me. I need you to find it before it kills me.

Leo:
*gives legal advice*

Walter:
I'mma risk it.