The Fly

Seth Brundle:
My teeth have begun to fall out. The medicine cabinet is now the Brundle Museum of Natural History. You wanna see what else is in it?

Seth Brundle:
What's there to take? The disease has just revealed its purpose. We don't have to worry about contagion anymore... I know what the disease wants.

Ronnie:
What does the disease want?

Seth Brundle:
It wants to... turn me into something else. That's not too terrible is it? Most people would give anything to be turned into something else.

Ronnie:
Turned into what?

Seth Brundle:
Whaddaya think? A fly. Am I becoming a hundred-and-eighty-five-pound fly? No, I'm becoming something that never existed before. I'm becoming... Brundlefly. Don't you think that's worth a Nobel Prize or two?

Seth Brundle:
You have to leave now, and never come back here. Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects... don't have politics. They're very... brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can't trust the insect. I'd like to become the first... insect politician. Y'see, I'd like to, but... I'm afraid, uh...

Ronnie:
I don't know what you're trying to say.

Seth Brundle:
I'm saying... I'm saying I - I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over... and the insect is awake.

Ronnie:
No. no, Seth...

Seth Brundle:
I'm saying... I'll hurt you if you stay.

Tawny:
[after Seth says it's Tawny's turn to teleport] I'm afraid.

Seth Brundle:
Don't be afraid.

Ronnie:
No. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Tawny:
[after Seth teleports] Wow! Are you some sort of magician?

[about Veronica's request for an abortion]

Dr. Cheevers:
Listen, I don't mean to interfere, but I detect a certain uncertainty here. You know, there are tests we can do to determine whether or not...

Veronica Quaife:
[interrupting] I don't want tests. Tests can't guarantee anything. The baby could start off normal and then become...

[she pauses]

Veronica Quaife:
I want an abortion. I'll do it myself if I have to.

Seth Brundle:
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die.

Ronnie:
Don't you get it? I am finally onto something that's big. Huge.

Stathis Borans:
What? His cock?

Ronnie:
Crude Stathis. Even for you.

Seth Brundle:
I was not pure. The teleporter insists on inner pure. I was not pure.

Ronnie:
I don't know what you mean.

Seth Brundle:
A fly... got into the... transmitter pod with me that first time, when I was alone. The computer... got confused - there weren't supposed to be two separate genetic patterns - and it decided to... uhh... splice us together. It mated us, me and the fly. We hadn't even been properly introduced.

Ronnie:
If you *SAW* him, Stathis, if you saw how scared and angry and desperate he is...

Stathis Borans:
I'm sure Typhoid Mary was a very nice person too when you saw her socially.

[first lines]

Seth Brundle:
What am I working on? Uhh... I'm working on something that will change the world, and human life as we know it.

Ronnie:
[after an unsuccessful test of the telepods] We've gotta do this, Seth. Talk to the tape. Get in the habbit. The world will want to know what you're thinking.

Seth Brundle:
"F***!" is what I'm thinking.

Ronnie:
Good... The world will want to know that... What else? Why didn't it work?

Seth Brundle:
[Disappointed] I think it turned the baboon inside-out.

Ronnie:
Why?

Seth Brundle:
[sigh] It can't cope with the flesh. It only seems to work on inanimate objects; nothing that's living.

Ronnie:
Why?

Seth Brundle:
Computers are dumb. They only know what you tell them... I must not know enough about the flesh myself. I'm gonna have to learn.

[Long pause]

Seth Brundle:
I don't wanna talk now.

[Ronnie turns off the camera and watches Seth sympathetically as he walks away with his head held low in disappointment]

Seth Brundle:
[to Veronica] You're afraid to dive into the plasma pool, aren't you? You're afraid to be destroyed and recreated, aren't you? I'll bet you think that you woke me up about the flesh, don't you? But you only know society's straight line about the flesh. You can't penetrate beyond society's sick, gray, fear of the flesh. Drink deep, or taste not, the plasma spring! Y'see what I'm saying? And I'm not just talking about sex and penetration. I'm talking about penetration beyond the veil of the flesh! A deep penetrating dive into the plasma pool!

Tawny:
There's no elevator, I can't make it.

Seth Brundle:
No, there's an elevator.

[picks her up in his arms]

Seth Brundle:
There, don't you feel elevated?

[Seth Brundle is about to arm wrestle Marky]

2nd Man In Bar:
Better watch out, he eats chocolate bars.

Marky:
Yeah, so I noticed.

Veronica Quaife:
I'm pregnant.

Stathis Borans:
[dismissive] Oh, no.

[reality kicking in]

Stathis Borans:
Oh, no.

Veronica Quaife:
I'm pregnant with Seth's baby.

Stathis Borans:
If you plan to make anything disappear, please let me know - I've got an assistant editor who has outlived his usefulness.

Seth Brundle:
It's not ready yet.

Veronica Quaife:
It seems to work okay...

Seth Brundle:
No, something important's missing.

Veronica Quaife:
Yeah?

Seth Brundle:
Yeah.

Veronica Quaife:
Which is?

Seth Brundle:
I can only teleport inanimate objects.

Veronica Quaife:
Well, what happens when you try to teleport living things?

Seth Brundle:
Not while we're eating.

Veronica Quaife:
[pointing on her cheeseburger] It can't be worse than this.

Veronica Quaife:
Oh are you serious? A monkey just came apart in there.

Seth Brundle:
Baboon. Eat.

[Brundle sits at a table full of junk food, and explains his altered digestive system to Veronica and her videocamera]

Seth Brundle:
How does Brundlefly eat? Well, he found out the hard and painful way that he eats very much the way a fly eats. His teeth are now useless, because although he can chew up solid food, he can't digest them. Solid food hurts. So like a fly, Brundlefly breaks down solids with a corrosive enzyme, playfully called "vomit drop". He regurgitates on his food, it liquifies, and then he sucks it back up. Ready for a demonstration, kids? Here goes...

[cut to Stathis, who is watching the videotape. The sound of Seth "vomiting" is heard]

Stathis Borans:
Oh my God.

[Sound of Seth sucking back up the vomit]

Stathis Borans:
[shocked and disgusted] My God!

Seth Brundle:
I think you're making a mistake. I think you really want to talk to me.

Ronnie:
Sorry, I have three other interviews to do before this party's over.

Seth Brundle:
Yeah, but they're not working on something that'll change the world as we know it.

Ronnie:
They say they are.

Seth Brundle:
Yeah, but they're lying. I'm not.

Seth Brundle:
I've come here to say one magic word to you.

Ronnie:
Yeah?

Seth Brundle:
Cheeseburger.

Tawny:
Are you a body builder, or something?

Seth Brundle:
Yeah, I build bodies. I take them apart, and put them back together again.

Seth Brundle:
Brundle, Seth. Give me a disc. Uh, I need first the teleportation S. Brundle.

Computer:
[displays presence of primary and secondary teleportation elements]

Seth Brundle:
[typing] If primary element is Brundle, what is secondary element?

Computer:
Secondary element is not-Brundle.

Seth Brundle:
Run sequence.

Computer:
[identifies secondary element as a fly]

Seth Brundle:
[typing] If secondary element is fly, what happened to fly?

Computer:
Fusion.

Seth Brundle:
[typing] Assimilation? Did Brundle absorb fly?

Computer:
Negative. Fusion of Brundle and fly at molecular-genetic level.

Seth Brundle:
Uh... Brundle, Seth.

Veronica Quaife:
[to Seth after her stocking disintegrates in the telepod] Great. The world's largest microwave oven. I'm glad I didn't give you my Rolex, if I had a Rolex.

Seth Brundle:
I farm bits and pieces out to the guys who are much more brilliant than I am. I say, "build me a laser", this. "Design me a molecular analyzer", that. They do, and I just stick 'em together. But, none of them know what the project really is. So...

Veronica Quaife:
Wow! And, uh, the money? Bartok Science Industries Financed this?

Seth Brundle:
Hmm-mmm... But they leave me alone, 'cause I'm not expensive. And they know they'll end up owning it, whatever it is.

Veronica Quaife:
[to Seth after he fills his coffee with sugar] Do you normally take coffee with your sugar?

Seth Brundle:
[to Veronica] I will say now, however objectively, that human teleportation, molecular decimation, breakdown, reformation, is inherently purging.

Veronica Quaife:
[to Seth] Something went wrong, Seth. When you went through, something went wrong.

Veronica Quaife:
You're changing Seth. Everything about you is changing. You look bad. You smell bad.

Seth Brundle:
I've never been much of a bather.

Veronica Quaife:
Those... weird hairs that were growing out of your back. I took them to a lab. I had them analyzed.

Seth Brundle:
The hairs? The hairs? Oh... Yeah, that's a strange thing to do.

Veronica Quaife:
Not as strange as the results. The guy at the lab had trouble identifying them. He finally came to the conclusion, that they were definitely not human.

Seth Brundle:
Oh... Very good.

Veronica Quaife:
Not human, Seth. In fact... very insect-like hairs.

Seth Brundle:
[to himself] Oh, no. What's happening to me? Am I dying?

Seth Brundle:
[to Veronica] You were right. I am diseased, and uh... it might be contagious somehow. I wouldn't want to infect you.

Seth Brundle:
[to Veronica] Help me. Please... help me.

Stathis Borans:
[to Veronica] It could be contagious. It could turn into an epidemic.

Stathis Borans:
[to Veronica] Don't go back to it.

[last lines]

Veronica Quaife:
No, I can't. No, I can't.

Seth Brundle:
[Seth and Ronnie try an experiment late at night. Seth takes a steak and cuts it in half. He cooks one half, and the other half is teleported then cooked. He hands one plate to Ronnie and cuts her a piece] Okay. Eat this, and I need an objective opinion.

Seth Brundle:
[Ronnie chews it and looks at Seth confused as to what he is doing] Yeah?

Ronnie:
Well, it could use some finesse, but um... it tastes like a steak.

Seth Brundle:
Mmm-hmm. [Cuts some steak] Now, I want you to try this... teleported half.

Ronnie:
Oh, are you serious? A monkey just came apart in there.

Seth Brundle:
Baboon... Eat.

Ronnie:
[Ronnie eats it] Oh... Oh, oh, tastes funny. [Spits it in a napkin]

Seth Brundle:
Funny? How?

Ronnie:
It tastes um... synthetic.

Seth Brundle:
[Seth smiles and takes the napkin] Mmm-hmm.

Ronnie:
[smiles with intrigue] So, what have we proved?

Seth Brundle:
The computer is giving us its interpretation... of a steak. It's, uh translating it for us; it's rethinking it, rather than *reproducing* it, and something is getting lost in the translation.

Ronnie:
Me... I'm lost.

Seth Brundle:
The flesh. It should make the computer, uh crazy. Like those old ladies pinching babies. But it doesn't; not yet because I haven't taught the computer to be made crazy by the... [smiles at Ronnie] flesh. The poetry of the steak. So, I'm gonna start teaching it now.

Ronnie:
[Ronnie is driving to Seth's lab quickly in her car. Seth is on the passenger side, breathing heavily and appears to be ill] Are you sick?

Seth Brundle:
[sighs] Huh? Oh... sure.

Ronnie:
You're not a very accomplished drunk.

Seth Brundle:
No, no I'm always like this it's um... motion sickness. When I was a kid, I uh... puked on my tricycle. [Ronnie goes over a speed bump. The car bounces]

Seth Brundle:
[smiles weakly] I hate vehicles.

Ronnie:
[to Stathis] You're a petty schmuck!

Seth Brundle:
[after teleporting for the first time] Now, you tell me. Am I different somehow? Is it live or is it Memorex?

Seth Brundle:
[his last words before his final transformation] We'll be the ultimate family. A family of three joined together in one body. More human than I am alone.

Seth Brundle:
[to Veronica] Help me. Help me be human.

Ronnie:
Do you ever change your clothes?

Seth Brundle:
What?

Seth Brundle:
Your clothes. You're always wearing the same clothes.

Seth Brundle:
No, these are clean. I change my clothes every day.

Ronnie:
[Veronica looks into his closet and finds five sets of the same suits, ties, shoes and pants] Five sets of exactly the same clothes?

Seth Brundle:
Learned it from Einstein. This way I don't have to expand my thought on what I have to wear next, I just grab the next set on the rack.

[After sending a baboon through the telepods, only to have it emerge as a bloody, malformed mess]

Veronica:
[recording him with a camera] We've gotta do this, Seth. Talk to the tape. Get in the habit. The world will want to know what you're thinking--

Seth:
[angrily] "F***" is what I'm thinking!

Veronica:
Good... The world will want to know that... What else? Why didn't it work?

Seth:
[more calmly] I think it turned the baboon inside-out.

Veronica:
Why?

Seth:
It can't cope with the flesh. It only seems to work on inanimate objects; nothing that's living. Must be my fault.

Veronica:
Why?

Seth:
Computers are dumb. They only know what you tell them. I must not know enough about the flesh myself. I'm gonna have to learn. [is silent for a moment] I don't wanna talk now.

[Ronnie turns off the camera and sadly watches him leave]

Seth:
Listen. I want you to go through. I want to teleport you. As soon as possible, right now! You'll feel incredible, Ronnie! I hardly need to sleep any more, I feel wonderful! It's like a drug, but a perfectly pure and benign drug! The power I feel surging inside me...! And I won't be able to wear you out! We'll be the perfect couple, the dynamic duo! Come on, right now!

Veronica:
Hey, wait! Don't give me that "born-again teleportation" rap! I told you I was scared to do it. What do I have to say?! I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!

Seth:
You're a F***ING DRAG, you know that?!

Veronica:
Something went wrong, Seth. When you went through, something went wrong.

[After Seth teleports again]

Seth:
[To Tawny] Okay, okay! Now you're going to like it!

Tawny:
I don't want to! [Seth drags Tawny to the lab] I'm afraid!

Seth:
Don't be afraid!

Veronica:
[Surprising them] No. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Veronica:
Those weird hairs growing out of your back, I took them to a lab. I had them analyzed.

Seth:
The hairs? The hairs? Oh. Yeah, that’s a strange thing to do.

Veronica:
Not as strange as the results. The guy at the lab had trouble identifying them. He finally came to the conclusion that they were definitely not human.

Seth:
[points upwards] Oh, very good.

Veronica:
Not human, Seth. In fact, very likely insect hairs.

Seth:
[scared; in denial] That's silly, that's ridiculous--

Veronica:
Look, now there's more. Look at your face... Something happened when you went through, Seth. You've got to get some help, I think you must be sick--

Seth:
[exploding] YOU'RE JEALOUS!! I've become free, I've been released and you can't stand it! You'll do anything to bring me down! Come here, does this look sick? Does this look like a sick man to you?

[Seth starts punching and denting the wall with his bare hands]

Veronica:
No, stop it!

Seth:
Know any sick man who can do that?!

[At Brundle's lab, Veronica finds him scaling the walls]

Seth:
I seem to be stricken by a disease with a purpose, wouldn't you say? Maybe not such a bad disease after all.

Veronica:
I can't stay here.

Seth:
[jumps down onto floor] No, no, no! Why not? Why can't you?

Veronica:
I can't take it... It's too much.

Seth:
What's there to take? The disease has just revealed its purpose. We don't have to worry about contagion anymore, I know what the disease wants.

Veronica:
What does the disease want?

Seth:
It wants to...turn me into something else. That's not too terrible, is it? Most people would give anything to be turned into something else.

Veronica:
Turned into what?

Seth:
What do you think, a fly? Am I becoming a hundred-and-eighty-five pound fly? No, I'm becoming something that's never existed before. I'm becoming... Brundlefly. Don't you think that's worth a Nobel Prize or two?

Seth:
Help me. Help me be human.

Veronica:
How?

Seth:
[indicating the appropriate telepods] Well, I go there, and you go there. We come apart, and then we come together there. You, me and the baby. Together. [starts the countdown]

Veronica:
No...

Seth:
We'll be the ultimate family. A family of three, joined together in one body. More human than I am alone.

Veronica:
No!!

Seth Brundle:
[Talking to his surviving baboon, while drinking] "Residue" means old boyfriend, doesn't it? Stathis Borans is her old boyfriend. "From the desk of Stathis Borans" - how about "Under the desk of Stathis Borans"? She's working for her old boyfriend. Now she runs out late at night to see him. What is this, the Ronnie game?! I'm catching on, I'm catching on... [As the baboon swats at a fly] I didn't mean to kill your brother. But he didn't die in vain, if that's of any comfort. And, as the General said, "There's nothing I'd ask you to do that I wouldn't do myself, boys." ...Hey, you're all right. From looking at you, I can tell you're okay. What are we waiting for? Let's do it.

Seth Brundle:
[To Veronica] I will say now, however subjectively, that human teleportation, molecular decimation, breakdown and reformation is inherently purging. It makes a man a king. From the moment I walked out of the pod, I felt like a million bucks... I mean, what an accomplishment! But what have I really done? All I've done is say to the world: "Let's go! Move! Catch me if you can!"

Seth Brundle:
[Adding his teeth to a collection of lost body parts] You're relics. Yes, you are. Vestigial, archaeological, redundant. Artifacts of a bygone era. Of historical interest only. [Notices Veronica] You've missed some good moments. Is that why you're here? To catch up? My teeth have begun to fall out. The medicine cabinet is now the Brundle Museum of Natural History. You wanna see what else is in it?