The Glades

Jim Longworth:
[title sequence narration] Some say I don't play well with others. I was a damned good detective in Chicago until a disagreement with my boss encouraged me to pack it up and make a change. So I put the Windy City in my rearview and headed to the Sunshine State to kick back, play some golf, work on my tan, maybe write the occasional speeding ticket. Yeah, well, that didn't work out.

Callie Cargill:
[Searching the swamp for the treasure] Are you sure this is right?

Jim Longworth:
Yes. I got the coordinates from the sextant and put them in the GPS thingie.

Callie Cargill:
GPS thingie? Oh my God, I'm going to die!

Jim Longworth:
You are not going to die.

Callie Cargill:
I'm in the swamp with a guy from Chicago who says 'GPS thingie'! I'm going to die!

Callie Cargill:
So, this is you being gentle?

Jim Longworth:
[cynical tone] Yeah, try anything once.

Callie Cargill:
So if this is gentle, why is he crying?

Jim Longworth:
I don't know!

Josie Tigertail:
[having pulled him over] Is that your gun in there?

Jim Longworth:
No, I was just glad to see you.

Jim Longworth:
Do all of your clients bleed this badly?

Justin Brussard:
Why would I tell you she was out there if I had anything to do with killing her?

Jim Longworth:
I don't know. Because you're a moron?

Callie Cargill:
Wow, that's either an exit wound or all of the surgeons in Chicago are drunks.

Jim Longworth:
Yeah, my captain shot me. He thought I was sleeping with his wife.

[Callie raises an eyebrow as she gives Jim an injection in his butt]

Jim Longworth:
I was actually the only one in the department who *hadn't* slept with her.

Callie Cargill:
Good boy.

Callie Cargill:
Sign this.

Jim Longworth:
What's this?

Callie Cargill:
It's just a waiver that relieves the hospital of all reliability if my treatment of you were to cause you to get an infection, lose your hand, or die.

Jim Longworth:
I'm not signing this!

Callie Cargill:
You will if you want your pants back.

Ashley:
I'm sorry, do I know you?

Jim Longworth:
That would be really weird if you did. [flashes his badge]

Jim Longworth:
You know what's really traditional? Shooting a guy that's sleeping with your girlfriend.

Callie Cargill:
So you think that a woman choosing a specific job option is objectifying herself?

Jim Longworth:
I did, until you said it like that...

Jim Longworth:
Hey... sweet dreams.

Callie Cargill:
Sure, sweet dreams.

Jim Longworth:
[shakes his head after Callie walks away] Sweet dreams? Idiot!