The Greatest Show on Earth

Angel:
Listen, sugar, the only way that you can keep me warm is to wrap me up in a marriage license.

[to Holly, as his blood is being transfused into Brad]

Sebastian:
If he should make love well after this, pay no attention - it will be me.

Holly:
I'd hate to have your nerve in a tooth!

Angel:
You are a sourpuss, aren't you?

Brad Braden:
Yeah.

Angel:
You want to bite somebody?

Brad Braden:
Yeah.

Angel:
Well, pick your spot.

Buttons:
Clowns are funny people, they only love once.

Holly:
All men aren't that way, even if they act like clowns.

Holly:
[singing] When things go wrong, and life's no song, and you're flat on your back, that doesn't mean you have to lie there: be a jumping jack!

Buttons:
[singing] Keep on the hop, and if you flop, and everything looks black, stand on your head and holler "hi there!" Be a jumping jack!

Holly:
When things go up, they must come down, and also visa verse. If things look bad, don't fret and frown - they could be ten times worse!

Buttons:
Your train of luck, it may get stuck if something's on the track; give a good jump and you'll get by there...

Holly, Buttons:
Be a jumping jack!

[Holly and Sebastian are one-upping each other on the trapeze]

Buttons:
How long do you think this can go on before something happens?

Brad Braden:
It's circus, isn't it?

Buttons:
Do you believe in prayer?

Brad Braden:
And practice.

Angel:
Did he say you were like cognac? All fire in zee glass?

Holly:
No, he said I was like champagne. I made his head spin.

Angel:
Yeah, only you'll be the one who winds up with a hangover.

Angel:
[Sebastian almost drives his car into the elephant Angel is riding] Hey! Don't crowd, mister! Can't you see an elephant or do I have to paint her red?

Sebastian:
I was blinded by the memory of a beautiful night in Paris.

Angel:
[to the other circus performers] Blow up your water wings, girls, here comes the big wave!

[to Sebastian]

Angel:
How come no husband ever shot you?

Sebastian:
I never offer a sitting target.

Angel:
I thought I'd seen the last of you when you got mixed up with that wire walker in Lisbon.

Sebastian:
You will never see the last of me, Angel.

Klaus:
Angel! [shouting loud]

Angel:
That will be arranged when you meet Klaus.

Klaus:
You always have a smile for that high-flying peacock.

Angel:
Well, what do you want me to do, cry over him?

Klaus:
Your legs are too thin, your hair is too red, you have lips like a cat. You're no good. You give me too much trouble.

Angel:
Flattery rolls right off me.

[first lnes]

Narrator:
We bring you the circus, pied piper whose magic tunes greet children of all ages, from six to 60, into a tinsel and spun-candy world of reckless beauty and mounting laughter and whirling thrills; of rhythm, excitement and grace; of blaring and daring and dance; of high-stepping horses and high-flying stars. But behind all this, the circus is a massive machine whose very life depends on discipline and motion and speed. A mechanized army on wheels, that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus. And this is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and of the men and women who fight to make it "The Greatest Show on Earth."

[last lines]

Midway barker:
That's all, ladies and gentlemen, that's all. Come again to the greatest show on earth. Bring the children. Bring the old folks. You can shake the sawdust off your feet, but you can't shake it outta your heart. Come again, folks. The Greatest Show on Earth. Come again.

Brad Braden:
[while Buttons is doing first aid] Buttons! If that detective sees you doing this, he won't need *fingerprints*!

Holly:
[Very frustrated] I send Angel for a doctor and she comes back with an *elephant*!

Angel:
[Filled with sarcasm] You better let Birdie bandage up the pixie if you want to say good bye to our boyfriend!

Holly:
[Horrified] Brad!

[while Sebastian was speaking, romantically to Holly, Ruth, an elephant, was directed by Angel to pick up and take Holly away, from Sebastian, to Brad]

Sebastian:
[Sebastian, speaking French] Qu'est-ce qu'al y a?

Holly:
Let me go. Sebastian.

Angel:
Never try to take anything from an elephant.

Holly:
Sebastian, do something!

Sebastian:
A lion I fight for you, a tiger! But the red-headed wildcat with an elephant, no.

[then he chuckled, with a big grin]

Holly:
You make this two-tailed jackass put me down.

[Ruth, being guided by Angel, took Holly to Brad Braden, then let go of her, in front of Brad]

Buttons' Mother:
[just after giving gifts to circus spectators, Buttons secretly goes to his Mother and they whisper to each other] They've been around again, asking questions.

Buttons:
[whispering] I know Mother. They'll never find me, behind this nose.

Buttons' Mother:
[whispering] Be very careful, dear.

Buttons:
[whispering] Now, how about a nice smile, that I can remember until next year?

Buttons' Mother:
[whispering] God be with you my boy.

Buttons:
[whispering] It's all right Mother. [Buttons then did a light secret hug to his mother and started acting like a clown, again]

[Phyllis is having her hair washed by Birdie as heart-throb Sebastian approaches;]

Phyllis:
Why is it whenever he's around I'm all wet?

Birdie:
In more ways than one.