The Horse Soldiers

Major Kendall:
Look here, colonel, I didn't ask to be assigned to this mission...

Col. John Marlowe:
Kirby, you tangle with me, I'll have your hide.

Sgt. Maj. Kirby:
You're welcome to that too sir, if it's in the line of duty.

Major Kendall:
Now come off it Colonel, even you were born.

Miss Hannah Hunter:
They'll catch up to you and cut you to pieces, you nameless, fatherless scum. I just wish I could be there to see it.

Col. John Marlowe:
If it happens, Miss Hunter, you will be.

[after Marlowe gets slapped]

Major Kendall:
I suggest you see a doctor.

Major Kendall:
[to Marlowe] As usual, I'm just presenting the grim facts. Colonel Secord doesn't seem to understand that the coffee tastes better when the latrines are dug downstream instead of upstream. How do you like *your* coffee, Colonel?

Miss Hannah Hunter:
You're not going to burn the town down Major?

Maj. Richard Gray:
No ma'am just war supplies; cotton, railroad equipment, contraband ma'am.

Lukey:
Contraband? That's me, ain't it?

Col. John Marlowe:
How many men does it take to look after one lone female?

Union Soldier:
We was respectful, real respectful, Colonel.

Soldier:
You told us it was all right as long as we could see the top of her head.

Miss Hannah Hunter:
You said that?

Col. John Marlowe:
Well, uh...

Miss Hannah Hunter:
Then there's one more thing... [slaps Marlow hard]

Dunker, Yankee Soldier Amputee:
Hey, lookee here, the sun, it comes up in th' east every time, don't it?

Cpl. Wilkie:
It do in Missouri.

Dunker, Yankee Soldier Amputee:
Well, then if that's th' east, we ain't headed north, we're goin' south.

Cpl. Wilkie:
Smack dab inta reb country!

Jackie Jo:
Hey there - we're Confederates, but we ain't hostile - honest.

Major Kendall:
How are Susan amd the kids?

Col. Jonathan Miles, CSA:
Oh, they're fine. They're in Vicksburg. I suspect you'll be seeing them soon.

Major Kendall:
[pats Miles'leg] Nice try, Jonathan.

Union Soldier:
They're just kids from a military school.

Soldier:
Yeah, but they keep comin'.

Miss Hannah Hunter:
[military cadets have opened fire] What are you going to do now *Mister* Col. Marlowe?

Col. John Marlowe:
With all due respect, m'am, I'm gonna get the hell outta here.

Major Kendall:
I don't understand a man like Miles giving up that easily.

Col. John Marlowe:
Maybe losing that arm took some of the fight out of him.

Major Kendall:
No... the man I knew could lose both arms and still try to kick you to death.

Miss Hannah Hunter:
Major Gray, an actor... and Colonel Secord almost a senator... but Colonel Marlowe, you must be a professional soldier.

Col. John Marlowe:
No, prior to this current insanity I was a railroad engineer.

Major Kendall:
[pushing Hannah and Lukey into the room] Why don't you ask them what they think your chances are of blowing up Newton Station and heading to Baton Rouge?

Col. John Marlowe:
Where did you pick up that Reb colonel?

Maj. Richard Gray:
In the telegraph office, sir.

Col. John Marlowe:
The telegraph office? [officers begin to scramble] Alright, Secord, you know what to do.

Col. John Marlowe:
[during firefight] I didn't want this. I tried to avoid a fight!

Major Kendall:
That's why I took up medicine.

Col. John Marlowe:
[after knocking out the deserters and giving Goodbody a pistol. Bows low] Compliments of Miss Hannah Hunter of Greenbriar.

Col. John Marlowe:
[entering the hospital] Kendall, what's Mitchell's name doing on the sick list?

Otis 'Hoppy' Hopkins:
Please wait your turn - the doctor will be with you shortly.

Col. John Marlowe:
[indicating Hopkins] What's this?

Major Kendall:
Hopkins, my assistant.

Col. John Marlowe:
Is he going along?

Major Kendall:
He's a good man, I need him.

Col. John Marlowe:
[grabbing Sgt. Mitchell by the arm] Come on, Mitch, I've got some whiskey in my locker...

Major Kendall:
[forces Sgt. Mitchell back on the bed] He's staying here and those are my orders!

Col. John Marlowe:
You've read the whole book, haven't you?

Gen. Ulysses S. Grant:
Have you thought about how you're going to get back?

Col. John Marlowe:
Have you, sir?

Gen. Ulysses S. Grant:
Well, I guess I asked for that. I just hate to think of you spending the rest of the war in Andersonville; it's a hell-hole.

Major Kendall:
That's a pretty primitive outlook; medically speaking, that is.

Col. John Marlowe:
Well, doctor, war isn't exactly a civilized business.

Major Kendall:
[preparing to fight] What are the rules gonna be, Colonel?

Col. John Marlowe:
Make up your own.

Major Kendall:
[hits Marlow in the jaw as he is taking off his blouse] You said no rules.

Matthew Brady:
Roses are red, violets are blue, the camera is looking right at you... oh, I simply must have another; that man in the white coat moved.

Col. John Marlowe:
That's not all he's gonna be moving.

Col. John Marlowe:
The Major seems to be out of uniform. Where are your sidearms, Kendall?

Major Kendall:
If you check the book, Colonel, you'll see that a Regimental Surgeon doesn't wear one.

Col. John Marlowe:
[Angrily, to Gen Hurlburt] First you cut out our artillery, then the wagons, and now you want to saddle us with a medical unit!

Col. John Marlowe:
[immediately after Dunker's death] If, if, maybe, perhaps... what's the matter, Medicine Man...

Major Kendall:
[throws whiskey in Marlowe's face] Alright, section hand, I've had you! Strip your blouse.

Col. John Marlowe:
[Wipes his face] I think you're right. [Calls out] Orderly! Horses!

Col. John Marlowe:
[offers his hand to Kendall] I don't blame you if you... slap it away. Shake hands? [they shake] So long, Croaker.

Major Kendall:
Take care, Section Hand. And if you should run into another doctor...

Col. John Marlowe:
Yeah, I know... tree moss.

Miss Hannah Hunter:
[bending over with a plate of chicken, revealing ample cleavage] Do you prefer the leg... or the breast?

Col. John Marlowe:
I've had quite enough of both, thank you.

Miss Hannah Hunter:
You're not going to burn the town down Major?

Sgt. Brown:
No ma'am just war supplies; cotton, railroad equipment, contraband ma'am.

Lukey:
Contraband? That's me, ain't it?

Major Kendall:
How old are you?

Soldier:
Thirty-two, sir.

Major Kendall:
Stand with that group over there.