The Inspector Lynley Mysteries

Barbara Havers:
Well,I have to keep my mouth shut... do as I'm told.

Helen Lynley:
That must be a challenge.

Helen Lynley:
[about Lindley] Typical man! He'd run a mile rather than talk about his feelings.

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Can I expect any more skeletons to come out of the cupboard?

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
I should stay off the whiskey. It makes me maudlin.

Detective Sergeant Nies:
[to Lynly] I wasn't born with a silver spoon up my backside.

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
[to Nies] Hit me. I'd enjoy saving the taxpayers the cost of your pension.

D.S. Barbara Havers:
Parents are supposed to take care of their kids, aren't they?

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
That's the theory.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
[To Havers] Have you gone complete and utterly mad? You're behaving like a spoiled teenager!

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
When I find people are lying to me in a murder inquiry, I become suspicious.

Tony Wainwright:
[to Lynley] You do do your detective work, detective.

DC Winston Nkata:
West Carriage Drive, which runs through the park, stays open until midnight.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
Ah, that would give us a few hundred potential witnesses.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Or a few hundred potential suspects.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
So I take it she ended the relationship.

Tony Wainwright:
No, I did.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Why?

Tony Wainwright:
Because... because she had a problem with intimacy and I was an impatient, insensitive idiot.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
You mean she wouldn't have sex with you?

Tony Wainwright:
Yes, if you want to get gynecological.

Hester Reed:
[to Lynley and Havers] This is an awful take on good cop/bad cop. I can't tell who's who.

Basil Treves:
The chase is all the fun, Miss Havers!

Thomas Lynley:
You know, I don't remember being trampled in the rush to partner with you.

Muneer Malik:
You're a whore, Shala. I should have killed you. I wish I had.

Barbara Havers:
So it was an arranged marriage?

Shala Malik:
Arranged marriage, yes, but not a forced marriage.

Barbara Havers:
[Angrily referring to Troughton] He's the kind of man that gives women a bad name!

Troughton:
Sorry you found my lecture so boring.

Barbara Havers:
I'm more of the Countdown type. I like a challenge.

Troughton:
[Silently mouthung] Oh.

Thomas Lynley:
[to Havers] God, Havs, the mess people make of love!

Troughton:
I'm not stupid! I don't have affairs with my students... even when they offer themselves to me, which they do with tedious frequency.

Barbara Havers:
[Contemptuously] Poor deluded little beggers!

Troughton:
[Nastily] Or uptight little virgins. [Havers appeared shocked by what he says] I can spot one a mile off!

Thomas Lynley:
Why... Imean, why would a girl like Elena choose to have a baby?

Edwina:
Because she was Elena. She just did whatever she wanted.

Helen Lynley:
Actually I'm a shrink... a police profiler.

Noel Shakespeare:
[Sarcastically] Couldn't get a proper job?

Gina Stephanopoulos:
[about her husband] He keeps me in the dark like a flamin' mushroom.

Maureen Finnegan:
[to Grace] The green-eyed monster does things to even the nicest people.

Maureen Finnegan:
You know what they say: shrouds have no pockets.

Philip Turner:
I never stayed. Not my choice. Sam didn't believe that sex with somebody constituted infidelity if you can understand that.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
You know, you're just one badly chosen word from spending the night in the cells!

Philip Turner:
[about Samantha] She drew a line between sex and intimacy.

Philip Turner:
It's an affair, Inspector, you're supposed to lie about it!

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Not during a murder investigation!

Philip Turner:
[about Sam] She'd sleep with you, but she didn't want to wake up next to you.

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Where were you on Monday night?

Jeremy Britton:
Oh, please, Inspector! [sighs] I love my son... enough to not want to marry a whore but not enough to risk my libery for him. [Moves closer] If you must know, I was here as alwaus with my old friend Jack Daniels.

Eddie Price:
[to lynley] If you want to speak to me again, give me some notice. I'll bring my lawyers.

Eddie Price:
[to Lynley] Are you gonna bark all day or are you gonna bite?

Peter Rooker:
I've told you everything I know. Can I go now?

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
[laughs] No, you see, Rooker, every time you'e told us everything, there seems to be an all new thrilling installment.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
I just sense there's more to him than meets the eye.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
With due respect Sir, you sensing that Lachlan's behind this all isn't the same as evidence that he actually is.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Fair point.

Lady Sarah Keach:
I take it you don't have much time for London society?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
I decided when I was in my early twenties that it was rather like a treadmill with canapes, so that's really not for me.

DC Tremayne:
Quiet as a grave down here. Anything on your end?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
You'll be the first to know, Tremayne. That's why we have walkie-talkies.

DC Tremayne:
Just keeping you informed, Inspector.

Mrs. Tremayne:
Tell me, Inspector Lynley: How do I tell my children that the daddy they had breakfast with yesterday is gone forever?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
I don't know.

Mrs. Tremayne:
No? Neither do I.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
It's that we try that makes us heroes. Not that we necessarily succeed.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
What's Cornwall famous for?

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
Pasties.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Yeah, well, besides that?

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
Smoked fish.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Forget the food!

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
I wish I could, but we came out here without breakfast, remember?

Barbara Havers:
Not a popular bloke then, your boss?

Rodney Aronson:
You don't get to the top in Fleet Street without picking up a few enemies along the way.

Thomas Lynley:
[to Helen] You can't second-guess life. You just have to live it.

Barbara Havers:
[Introducing Havers] Barbara Havers.

Tony Philips:
Barbara Havers? Finally get to put a face to the name.

Barbara Havers:
[laughs nervously, unsure of his meaning] Sorry?

Tony Philips:
I was working with the Met last year. They were offering five to one that your partnership wouldn't make it out of the paddock.

Thomas Lynley:
[Indignant] I beg your pardon?

Tony Philips:
[Condescendinly] Just a bit of fun. I'm sure everyone's delighted that Barbara eventually found someone she's able to work with.

Barbara Havers:
You know, call me snob, Tony, but given the choice between workin' with a clever, considerate man or a... mouthy git, I know who I'd choose.

Helen Clyde:
Do you think we'll be sitting together like this when we're 90?

Thomas Lynley:
Some knight in shining armor is bound to whisk you off before then.

Helen Clyde:
Are you saying I need rescuing? Ah, it's OK... you don't have to answer.

D.I. Fiona Knight:
Thomas Lynley! I've heard a lot about you.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Good things, I hope?

Lafferty:
And the bad things aren't his fault.

D.I. Fiona Knight:
[to Havers] If you want to find out how someone died, find out how they lived... how they loved.

D.I. Fiona Knight:
You know what worms do when you dig them up in the garden?

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
[Knowingly] Squirm.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
If anyone doesn't understand the impulse to murder, they've never been married.

Lafferty:
[as Lynley enters the morgue] Never was there a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
[Annoyed] Do you have a different quote for every autopsy you do?

Lafferty:
What's better - to see them as pieces of meat or fragments of poetry?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
[Entering morgue and hearing rock music being played] It's hardly appropriate music, is it?

Lafferty:
[Referring to the corpse] Well, it's not for him; it's for me.

Michael Shand:
I don't know what tree you're barkin' up, Inspector, but I can assure you it's the wrong one.

Barbara Havers:
[admiring Stinhurst's enormous castle] Is your pad in Cornwall this big?

Thomas Lynley:
Size isn't everything, Havers, isn't that what you women keep telling us?

Barbara Havers:
You resign, I resign.

Thomas Lynley:
That's absurd. Why, for heaven's sake?

Barbara Havers:
Well, do you want the truth?

Thomas Lynley:
Yes!

Barbara Havers:
No one else would work with me.

Thomas Lynley:
This is you being nice to me, isn't it?

Barbara Havers:
Yeah. [pause] Shall we hit the pub?

Barbara Havers:
You'd think she'd realize if she slept with a killer.

Thomas Lynley:
Psychopaths can be extremely charming and manipulative.

Thomas Lynley:
Helen, I have respect for you on every level, but this is a murder case. It's not about us.

Thomas Lynley:
[to Helen about Waring] Weak man, great cricketer.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
[to Havers] When we get to Black Rod's office, please, don't ask the obvious question!

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
I've joined one of those dating agencies.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Really?

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
What?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Just... really?

Lafferty:
[Playing a video game in the morgue] Nothing like a little bit of the ultra-violence to unwind. [Looking around him at the corpses] The corpses see enough of the consequences. It makes a nice change.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Let not the cross bind you to sin.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
What is that, the Bible?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Experience.

Simon Featherstonehaugh:
Just clinging to coattails here, Tommy. Real power follows the money.

Barbara Havers:
[Exiting her father's hospital room] Ah, how'd you know I was here?

Thomas Lynley:
It's the only place you ever turn off your mobile.

Pathologist:
[to body of dead boy just prior to autopsy] Okay, son, time to tell me all you know.

John Corntel:
[to Lynley] Have you been on the force so long you see everything through the jaded eyes of a copper. Not obsession, Tommy, love... love.

Barbara Havers:
[to the police squad searching the school] If you've got a key, use it! Otherwise kick the door down!

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
Good Morning!

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Is it? I haven't noticed.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
How'd you know that paper was ancient Arabic?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Benefits of a Liberal Arts education.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
I suppose that makes you an expert on everything?

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Of course! Uh, except... women.

Professor Elias Blackwell:
[Looking at beautiful antique icon] Well, it's ironic, isn't it? Something so beautiful should be mixed up with so much ugliness!

Professor Elias Blackwell:
Beauty brings out the worst in people.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
How should I best come across?

Professor Elias Blackwell:
Uh, I don't know, uh... be offhand... arrogant, ah... treat everyone like they're a slave.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
That's all right. I can do that.

Christine Miller:
[to Lynley] On the other hand, when nothing is certain, everything is possible.

Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers:
And I thought love conquers all.

Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley:
That's because you've never been married.

Chinese Walls (2006)

Hester Reed:
Inspector Lynley. Can I help you?

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
Does Mr Wainwright ever sort out your household problems, Miss Reed?

Hester Reed:
I thought a policeman would understand a simple system of hierarchy core responsibility.

Sergeant Barbara Havers:
Oh yeah, no. He's the guvnor alright. But if he ever asks me to send his flowers for him, I'd tell him where to... plant them.

Inspector Thomas Lynley:
She would too, you know.