The Ladies Man

Leon Phelps:
If you are a rich lady, and I have boned you...Please meet me at the Nacho Cart. If you are a rich lady, and would like to be boned...Please meet me at the Nacho Cart

Leon Phelps:
You just ate some human sh*t!

Leon Phelps:
You're a bad mailman! And this is not from Chris Walker!

Leon Phelps:
[Leon Rounding off the show] "What is Love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine Diamonds? Does not the wind love the Dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. You heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt! By Leon Phelps"

Leon Phelps:
First of all I will say something classy like.... Hey Baby can I buy you a Fish Sandwich?"

Leon Phelps:
Leon answering a call: " Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified not by women but by a man

Leon Phelps:
So.....you....don't want a fish sandwich?

Leon Phelps:
How long have you been uhh nunnin' it up? Ya thas coo.

Leon Phelps:
Yeah, that's Da Butt

Leon Phelps:
Listen, I was wondering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole 2 fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress

Leon Phelps:
Don't you worry Julie, I'm a man of action; I have a plan for this kind of thing. There is only one thing to do... I must go and have sex, and wait for something to randomly happen.

Leon Phelps:
Well I still live in the streets, and occasionally find myself waking up in the streets.

Leon Phelps:
And Lance, well you're clearly gay. I think we all know that. But you tried to oil me up, and thats not cool.

Leon Phelps:
I am Julie's piano, I am Julie's piano. That's a song I wrote for you Julie.

Leon Phelps:
Hey there sweet thang, can I get some more hot sauce. I"m sorry, what were you saying sweet thang?

Leon Phelps:
Theresa!

Leon Phelps:
Well that's nice. I got everything but the glass.

Leon Phelps:
Yes. Dually noted.

Leon Phelps:
Because there's more motion, in the ocean.

Leon Phelps:
If you've got the corvosier we can put some of that in here too, haha

Leon Phelps:
Man, id like to take a bite out of your butt.

Caller:
Caller #1: "Yes, uh, Ladies Man. I-I have a problem. I'm having a hard time finding the right lady. I-I've dated a few, but none of them are hot enough"

Soul Station Manager:
Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed 'dabut' under your hobbies?

Angry Husband:
My wife had that!!

Leon:
Yeah...she did.