The Last Horror Film

Jana Bates:
I've seen enough fake blood to know the real thing when I see it.

Vinny Durand:
Hi, Ma.

Vinny's Mother:
Hi, Vinny. You're home early. What's wrong? Are you sick?

Vinny Durand:
I'm fine. Couldn't be better. I'm home early because I just got my round-trip plane ticket. I'm leaving tomorrow for Europe. I'm going to the south of France for the Cannes Film Festival, Ma!

Vinny's Mother:
[as Vinny goes to his room to pack] Vinny, stop talking about those crazy ideas of yours. I made baked macaroni. You don't eat right. You need more proten so you wouldn't have to think of those crazy ideas.

Vinny Durand:
I don't know why you think my ideas are crazy, Ma. I'm going to the Cannes Film Festival to meet my idol, Jana Bates. I'm gonna propose to her to work in my first film. What is so crazy about that?

Vinny's Mother:
It's wrong for you to be thinking about Jana Bates day and night! Why can't you be happy just driving the cab?

Vinny Durand:
Because I got talent, Ma! I'm gonna be a great director someday!

Vinny's Mother:
Don't yell at me!

Vinny Durand:
I'm going to France to make my movie and nobody... nobody is gonna get in my way!

[last lines]

[after watching the rough cut of Vinny's movie in a screening room]

Vinny's Mother:
Vinny, I'm real proud of you. You finally did make your movie with Jana Bates.

Vinny Durand:
Thanks, Ma. But this'll be the first and last horror film I'll ever make. Let me tell you about my next movie. You got any more baked maccaroni?

Vinny's Mother:
Nope.

Vinny Durand:
Anyway, let me tell you about my next picture.

Vinny's Mother:
Vinny...

Vinny Durand:
It's a science fiction drama. I'm on a ship in outer space... just me and Jana.

Vinny's Mother:
Vinny...

Vinny Durand:
Lost in space, fighting off aliens and space pirates. Protecting the princess that...

Vinny's Mother:
Vinny!

Vinny Durand:
What is it, Ma?

Vinny's Mother:
Ya got a joint?