The Lavender Hill Mob

Henry Holland:
I was a potential millionaire, yet I had to be satisfied with eight pounds, fifteen shillings, less deductions.

Pendlebury:
Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these - it might have been.

Pendlebury:
I propagate British cultural depravity.

Pendlebury:
Well, you might as well know. I was lying. I am a thief. It was madness to attempt it. We weren't cut out for crime, either of us.

Policeman:
We?

Pendlebury:
My partner and I.

Sidewalk Vendor:
Your partner? Here, if you're working with the fence who's got them other pictures...

Policeman:
Shh! Carry on.

Pendlebury:
Oh I make no excuses. All my life it's been my ambition to surround myself with rare and beautiful things. Suddenly faced with this golden opportunity...

Sidewalk Vendor:
Here, you call that picture of mine rare and beautiful?

Pendlebury:
Since you will keep on interrupting me, you ought to know it's a charming example of an early Rochet, while he was still under the influence of Corot.

Sidewalk Vendor:
Oh yeah? How much is it worth?

Pendlebury:
Ten pound, to those who can afford it.

Sidewalk Vendor:
Oh blimey. I've had it marked up for five bob.

Lackery:
Bellamy's? In Bromley?

Shorty:
That's right. Last June. Twelver.

Lackery:
I was casing that joint the night you got pinched.

Shorty:
Well, what do you know? Shorty Fisher.

Lackery:
Nice to meet you.

Pendlebury:
Excuse me, I may be a bit slow but do I understand that you two are, in fact, both professional criminals?

Shorty:
Well, what else do you take us for, ruddy snoopers?

Lackery:
What's the setup?

Henry Holland:
[about his promotion out of the bullion office] I'm too old to change my views now, sir.

Turner:
Nonsense. You're never too old to better oneself. Think of what you can do with an extra 15 shillings a week.

Henry Holland:
But sir, I like the bullion office. It holds all I ever wished for.

Turner:
The trouble with you, Holland, if I may speak frankly, is that you do not have enough ambition. When a good opportunity comes along grab it with both hands. May not occur again.

Henry Holland:
Very good, sir. I'll follow your advice.

Turner:
And, erm, here's the order for tomorrow's consignment. Somewhat larger that I expected: 212 bars.

Henry Holland:
That won't worry me, sir.

Turner:
Dependable to the last. I'm going to miss you, Holland.

Henry Holland:
You're very kind, sir. I shall always have the happiest memories of the dear old bullion office.

Turner:
Has Mr. Applecrumby spoken to you about your holiday?

Henry Holland:
Yes, sir. I'm going to Paris.

Turner:
Paris, hey? You're stepping out, Holland. Wonderful isn't it, what a little extra money will do?

Henry Holland:
Yes, it's going to make a big difference to me.

Henry Holland:
A minute later, the guard will appear around this corner, and you, Pendlebury, will detain him for at least half a minute. Ask him for a light, ask him the way, ask him anything, but keep him there, we must have those thirty seconds.

Pendlebury:
Edgar.

Henry Holland:
I beg your pardon?

Pendlebury:
Isn't one supposed to say that when one's being briefed? On my rare visits to the cinema...

Henry Holland:
The word is "roger."

Pendlebury:
Oh, roger. How silly of me.

Pendlebury:
Now it's all over, I suppose I may dare say it's been a most remarkable coup.

Shorty:
The biggest job of its kind since One-Eyed Dobson got away with the GIs' pay packets. Two million dollars, Grosvenor Square, 'forty-five.

Henry Holland:
That was before devaluation. And this is one million pounds.

Shorty:
Oh, that's right. Blimey. We've got the record!

Pendlebury:
By Jove, Holland, it's a good job we're both honest men.

Henry Holland:
It is indeed, Pendlebury.

Henry Holland:
Instead of changing as usual at Charing Cross, I came straight on to Rio de Janeiro. "Gay, sprightly, land of mirth and social ease." Pendlebury.

British man:
Plus six Eiffel Towers. How much did they fetch?

Henry Holland:
Twenty-five thousand pounds. Enough to keep me for one year in the style to which I was, ah, unaccustomed.

The men who broke the bank - and lost the cargo!

He stole $3,000,000 in gold and that's a lot of BULLion!