The Legend of Custer

[first lines]

[Custer rides into stable where a game of craps is under way]

Sergeant James Bustard:
Go ahead and shoot. Go on, shoot. Shoot! Shoot!

[Game continues]

Sergeant James Bustard:
Hold it! I win!

[when Bustard reaches for his winnings, Custer steps on the cash]

Custer:
What is your name, Private?

Sergeant James Bustard:
James Bustard.

Custer:
Do you count yourself a tough man?

Sergeant James Bustard:
None tougher in the Seventh or any other damned Yankee regiment, General, suh. But I'm forgettin', it isn't General anymore is it?

Custer:
My name is George Armstrong Custer. Rank: Lieutenant Colonel, United States Cavalry, formerly Brevet Major General. Found guilty of dereliction of duty and suspended from rank for one year. By order of General Phil Sheridan reinstated commander of the Seventh Regiment as of now. The Seventh was my first command after the war. I was proud of it. I intend to be proud of it again.

Custer:
Is that Captain Reno bearing down on us?

Captain Myles Keogh:
Oh, then you're acquainted?

Custer:
Captain Reno never quite got over the fact that I followed him in West Point and now he follows me. The salt that really burns the wound is that I graduated 34th in a class of 34.

Captain Marcus A. Reno:
The boy general. You'd think they'd have more sense then to reinstate him.

Captain Myles Keogh:
Why not?

Captain Marcus A. Reno:
I've served with him before. Look at him: 28 years old, arrogant, conceited... never mind, you'll find out.

Captain Myles Keogh:
Aye, I'm lookin' forward to it.

Crazy Horse:
Do you have many such guns?

William R. Tymen:
As many as you want and all the shells you can shoot.

Santanya:
Where can we get them?

William R. Tymen:
You buy them from me.

Santanya:
Good! We trade for buffalo hides.

William R. Tymen:
No, not for hides.

Crazy Horse:
What is it you want? Our land? Our women? What do we have left that the white man has not already taken from us?

William R. Tymen:
Gold. My price is one hundred dollars in gold or money for each gun and I'll throw in a case of shells for every one you want.

Santanya:
But we have no gold or money.

William R. Tymen:
You can get it.

General Alfred Terry:
For the record, I don't like you. You're too sure of yourself, too much your own man.

Custer:
Then why did you bring me back?

General Alfred Terry:
Because, by the Almighty, you're a soldier. There's another kind of war brewing out here on the frontier. We're going to need every trained man we can get.

General Alfred Terry:
I want you to take a close look at your new command - the scum of the Earth. No enlisted man in uniform can be arrested or tried for any civil offense. That makes the Army a hideout for thieves, renegades, murderers... throw in a few foreign immigrants, professional soldiers and ex-Confederates and that's what's become of your glorious Seventh.

General Alfred Terry:
Blast it, the girl's no better at taking orders than you are!

[rather than return to Fort Hays as he was ordered, Custer has just led his troopers to General Terry's rescue]

General Alfred Terry:
And more important, I gave you a direct order to return to this post, Mr. Custer!

Custer:
I received the General's order, sir, and was carrying it out.

General Alfred Terry:
By riding in the opposite direction of the fort?

Custer:
The general's order did not specify the route I was to take in getting here, sir.