The Life of Larry

[to camera]

Seth MacFarlane:
Oh. Hello. You scared the crap out of me.

Larry Cummings:
[discussing William Shatner in Star Trek] I think what happens is that he, uh... eats his food, and whatever Spock can't finish, he eats that too.

Steve:
Wh... where did you... where did you hear that?

Larry Cummings:
Episode 65.

Steve:
Ah.

Steve:
[pauses] F***ing fat-ass is what he is.

Seth MacFarlane:
I'm Seth MacFarlane, Associate Production Coordinating Directorial Associate Managing Departmental Divisional Office Supervisor of the International Network Amalgamation Distributing Corporation Management Organisational Association of Men Who Like P*ssy.

Mr. Sulu:
Sir, we are approaching the planet.

Capt. Kirk:
Very good. We're beaming down. It could be dangerous - we may be killed - but that's why we're out here. The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Ensign Skippy.

Ens. Skippy:
Oh sh*t.

[Larry in is bed with his wife and Steve, the dog at the end of the bed. Larry turns off the light and as everyone's getting ready to sleep, Larry says... ]

Larry Cummings:
I was just thinking about how lucky we are to have a kid, ya know? Just take it for granted. It's a miracle when you think about it. This whole birth thing. I mean, what happens, I unload a whole batch of these little reproductive things into your, uh, ya know, miracle bucket, and 9 months later, Milt comes out, ya know? I mean, for me it's got it's own inspiring mystique about it, as like...

[Steve, the dog interrupts Larry by turning on the bedroom light]

Steve:
For God sakes Larry, people are trying to sleep around here.

Steve:
[Begging to be adopted as a pet] You will be responsible for the subsequent euthanasia!

Larry Cummings:
Yeah, and there are probably too many kids being born over there, right?