The Long, Long Trailer

Nicholas Collini:
It's a fine thing when you come home to your home and your home is gone!

Tacy:
What happened?

Nicholas Collini:
Oh nothing, I just cracked my skull.

[repeated line]

Mechanic:
Trailer brakes first!

Tacy:
Get that check back. I was going to get us a deepfreeze.

Nicholas Collini:
[gesturing to the in-laws staring coldly at them] You're getting a deepfreeze right now.

Mrs. Hittaway:
This is Mrs. Dudley, the big vagabond next door.

Tacy:
How do you do, Mrs. Vagabond?

Mechanic:
Think of it as a train behind you. Forty feet of train.

Mrs. Hittaway:
What good is a trailerite if not to help out another trailerite?

Tacy:
You didn't let me finish. I was going to say 'turn right here left'.

Nicholas Collini:
Turn right here left? Have you any conception how much room it takes to turn this thing around? We may have to go on for miles.

Nicholas Collini:
Been married long?

Mr. Tewitt:
About 31 years.

Nicholas Collini:
Have many fights?

Mr. Tewitt:
Nope.

Nicholas Collini:
Then take my advice: don't buy a trailer.

Nicholas Collini:
[narrating] It was a matter of what would give out first: me or the money.

Aunt Anastacia:
You tore down my roses with your lousy, stinking trailer! [starts crying]

Tacy:
[as they are packing up the trailer for the honeymoon] Honey, I told you to put your clothes in the hall closet!

Nicholas Collini:
[in a heavy accent] Well, the hall closet is full of your things. [sounds like "thins"]

Tacy:
Oh. Oh, well, put your thins there temporarily. Now come on.

Tacy:
Were the trailer repairs expensive?

Nicholas Collini:
No more than a room at the Ritz.