The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String

Dildo Saggins:
I don't know, Smirnof. I'm not noble... or pure. I've cheated on my SATs! I've stuck up liquor stores. I piss in the shower!

Smirnof, the Wizard:
Everyone pisses in the shower!

Dildo Saggins:
I stole your wallet a couple minutes ago!

Dildo Saggins:
Actually, the Throbbits were trisexuals. They'd try anything, the horny little bastards!

Dildo Saggins:
Wanna know why they call me Dildo?

Dildo Saggins:
[on seeing her friends engaged in a threesome] Ooo, yeah! Slice me off a hunk of that!

Sir Bruce:
Sure, follow the stereotypical homosexual's path! Maybe he'll sing you a few showtunes or be comedy relief! You can't handle a real homosexual in the context of modern society! You're all facists! I would like to know where you got those outifts, though...

Cowardly Lion:
My mother was right; I should have opened an antique store and attended daily affirmation classes!

Smirnof, the Wizard:
I shall need someone to hold my hair, whilst I puke!