The Neverhood

Willie Trombone:
Um... hello! Me Willie! Me Willie Trombone!

[Willie is going to tell Klaymen a story]

Willie:
Willie know that once you know this truth, then you know what to do. Listen, I tell you.

Klogg:
I know what you're thinking, AND YOU CAN FORGET IT!

[after Klogg is blown into outer space]

Hoborg:
You know... I never really understood that guy... now, come on, Klaymen! We've got a Neverhood to finish!

[Klaymen walks into Klogg's room, and Klogg suddenly jumps out of nowhere and grabs Klaymen]

Klogg:
KLAYMEN! Oh, I'm sorry, did I frighten you? My name is Klogg. Everything you see here is mine, to do with as I so desire. And I desire for all of this to be yours to rule. All you have to do is wear the adornment of a king. THIS.

[pulls out crown and puts it into Klaymen's hand]

Klogg:
The Neverhood crown. You know where this baby goes! So let's make our decision, shall we?

[Klaymen puts on the crown]

Klogg:
Yes. YES! He bought it! I win! AA HA HA HAAAAA!

[Klaymen turns evil and suddenly resembles Klogg. He grabs Klogg by the shirt and punches him]

Evil Klaymen:
I am the ruler of this world now. EE HEE HEE HA HA HAAAA!

Robot Bill:
Me Bill.

[a radio station]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Sound effects record number thirty-two. Man reading: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Man relaxing: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Woman in outer space: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Man watching television with volume at zero: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Man watching silent movie: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Freeway sound from 20 miles away: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Lunch at the recording studio: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Man getting a bright idea: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Woman handling a situation with kid gloves: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
A mime and his audience: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Tree falling in the forest: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
Dead insect: [silence]

Sound Effect Narrator:
A *swarm* of dead insects: [silence]

Willie:
These disks tell a story. Story about good. Story about bad. These disks are all that are left of the true story. True story of the closing - of the third age. [holds up two fingers, but gets surprised and takes one down]

Willie:
It all start with Hoborg, a being who had to create, because... he had to. He make the world full of beauty and wonder. This world, the Neverhood, a world where he could live forever and ever more!

Willie:
Hoborg thought this world would make him happy. But it make him - sad. Walking around his big, *beautiful* new world make him feel all alone.

Hoborg:
[to Klaymen's friends, after his crown has been returned to him] It is now time to goof off!

Frenchie the TV:
Hey Klaymen, say "knock-knock"!

Willie:
But then, Hoborg get him a idea. He said...

Hoborg:
I know. I'll make a friend to enjoy this world with me.

Hoborg:
[to Klogg] With you by my side, I'll make more...

Klogg:
[trying to knock Hoborg's crown off his head] Crown...!

Hoborg:
[grabbing his crown back, the planting it on his head] No! I mean - you, Klogg. This crown is the *only* thing that you cannot have.