The Nutt House

Coach Willis:
Purple Ray was right. This place is duller then watching Thirty Something.

Ms. Frick:
Finally... someone in the world will now call me 'mama'.

Sally Lonnaneck:
Oh, Ms. Frick, this little girl doesn't belong to you, she's Rosemary's baby.

Reginald J. Tarkington:
Ms. Frick managing a child, that's frightening! What will it do when it grows up, invade Poland?

Indian Chief:
I'd like a room.

Dennis:
Do you have a reservation?

Indian Chief:
I did... it was called Manhattan.

Reginald Tarkington:
Believe it or not, Sally, at one time I was the apple in every girls eye. Now look at me: I'm not even a prune Danish.

Ms. Frick:
Oh, darling! Never have doubts about yourself again. Oh, that's what they call a real man.

Reginald Tarkington:
-ager, manager!

Reginald Tarkington:
[to Miss Frick] Keep your bloomers on, we're going Dutch.

Reginald Tarkington:
Behind every one of these doors there's a story. For example, here's the room where over 400 men and women have consummated their relationships.

Charles Nutt III:
The Bridal suite.

Reginald Tarkington:
No, the broom closet.

Reginald Tarkington:
Miss Frick, there's a man in room 437 who means to do our hotel great harm

Ms. Frick:
Oh yeah? I'll make his life a living hell!

Reginald Tarkington:
No, no, no, don't treat him like all the other guests.

Norman:
I was about to take a shower when I saw something in the bathroom that made me absolutely sick.

Ms. Frick:
Your reflection?

Charles Nutt III:
Champagne has always been my weakness. After one sip, I'm washing cars with my tongue.

Charles Nutt III:
That's a pretty bad cough, maybe you should quit smoking?

Norman:
I can't, I just started.

Norman:
We haven't met officially, I'm Norman Shrike of Texplex hotels.

Charles Nutt III:
Charles Nutt. I'm not sure I should be talking to you.

Norman:
What am I, a Nazi? I'm a family man. I've got two kids and my wife's about to give bird to the third Shrike.

Big Jake Herder:
[to Tarkington] Now listen, candy breath, your days, like your hotel rooms, are numbered.

Sally Lonnaneck:
Oh, I'm sorry Charles... I must have been dreaming.

Charles Nutt III:
No no, don't apologize. It's nice to know someone in this hotel can still dream.

Charles Nutt III:
The man will be here next week.

Reginald Tarkington:
Charles, be serious, the President doesn't know we exist.

Dennis:
Then why don't we do what all the big four star hotels do, we'll rent some equipment and and and and make a video presentation and promote the Nutt House.

Charles Nutt III:
Great idea!

Sally Lonnaneck:
That's a wonderful idea! I'll provide the make-up.

Ms. Frick:
And I could provide T und A!

Reginald Tarkington:
[climax to presidential promo tape] It is our hope, sir that as a man of the common people you will come and stay with us, the commonest people on earth. Right, miss Liberty?

Ms. Frick:
[dressed as the statue of liberty, Ms. Frick stately walks towards the camera] That's Mizz Liberty.

Reginald Tarkington:
[having received a fax from the White House] Waitaminute! What if this is a fake? Some ploy by someone that hates me? like me mother...

Man in Bathrobe:
[Ms. Frick runs in carrying a TV set] Give me back my television set!

Ms. Frick:
Oh, read a book!