The Old Fashioned Way

Dick Bronson:
Mr. McGonigle, I've got to have some money.

The Great McGonigle:
Yes, my lad, how much?

Dick Bronson:
Two dollars.

The Great McGonigle:
If I had two dollars, I'd start a number two company.

Dick Bronson:
For two cents I'd quit.

The Great McGonigle:
[to Marmaduke] Pay him off! [Marmaduke gives him a two cent stamp]

The Great McGonigle:
[referring to Cleopatra] She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave.

Cleopatra Pepperday:
[after McGonigle takes a heavy fall] Marky, are you hurt?

The Great McGonigle:
[sarcastically] No, I had the presence of mind to fall on my head.

The Great McGonigle:
[after Baby Albert has splashed soup over him] I don't know whether to eat from the coat or the plate!

Cleopatra Pepperday:
[after Baby Albert throws McGonigles watch into a bowl of molasses] Oh, Albert! Look what you've done to Mr. McGonigle's watch! Oh...

[the watch is shown sinking]

Cleopatra Pepperday:
Oh, I'm so sorry... Oh, Mr. McGonigle!

The Great McGonigle:
It's all right.

Cleopatra Pepperday:
He has such an impulsive nature.

The Great McGonigle:
Yeah, just like my own. Don't apologize. It's all right. It's just a little child... it's just a little child.

Cleopatra Pepperday:
Oh, he does the cutest things!

The Great McGonigle:
That he does!

Cleopatra Pepperday:
You should see him when no one's around.

The Great McGonigle:
Oh, I'd like to catch him sometime when...

[Correcting himself]

The Great McGonigle:
Uh, SEE him sometime when no one's around.

Cleopatra Pepperday:
Oh, Albert, why did you do that?

The Great McGonigle:
[Mumbling to himself] Bet the minute hand won't be a bit of use after this!

Cleopatra Pepperday:
Mr. McGonigle, I hope he hasn't hurt your watch.

The Great McGonigle:
[Sarcastically] Oh, no, how could you hurt a watch by dipping it in molasses?

Cleopatra Pepperday:
Oh, he's never done that before.

[She titters]

The Great McGonigle:
Well, I hope he doesn't do it again - not with this watch.

The Great McGonigle:
[In character in "The Drunkard," the play-within-a play] It ain't a fit night out for man or beast!

Sheriff Walter Jones:
When is Cleo gonna act in this show?

The Great McGonigle:
Oh, yes, yes, yes. She'll probably go on right after the epilogue.

The Great McGonigle:
[as the boarding house guest are eating] The soup sounds good.