The One That Got Away

Franz von Werra:
Hello, RAF intelligence? Hello, RAF. I'm looking for the microphone hidden near the window of my room. This is Oberluetnant Von Werra calling the RAF, are you recieving me? Werra calling and testing.

Franz von Werra:
Does nobody speak in this country?

Franz von Werra:
Now shall I go to a prison camp?

RAF Interrogator:
You ask that question too often. You're not going to escape.

Franz von Werra:
Squadron Leader, I bet you a magnum of Champagne to ten cigarettes I do escape - within six months.

Franz von Werra:
[indicating a hefty suitcase] What is that?

German prisoner Wagner:
For my girlfriend in Hamburg. She has a great passion for chocolate.

Commandant, Grizedale:
Something's hatching. Prisoners always have complaints, as a matter of principle. When they haven't - then you watch.

Army Interrogator:
Let me compliment you on your English by the way, it's very much better than my German.

Franz von Werra:
If you think to get anywhere with, uh, flattery, Captain, you waste your time.

Army Interrogator:
Get anywhere? How do you mean?

Franz von Werra:
Is this not an interrogation?

Army Interrogator:
Oh, my dear fellow! A chat and smoke by the fire?

Army Interrogator:
[Talking on phone about von Werra] All the routine jargon, of course, but he doesn't believe a word of it. It just happens to suit his own book.

RAF Interrogator:
[Voice on phone] Is he a keen party member?

Army Interrogator:
No, sir, the only thing von Werra believes in is von Werra, a mixture of bombast and sheer nerve.

Franz von Werra:
[to his interrogator] You have, perhaps, the power to make it hard for me to live with my comrades, but if I were to give you military information, I would not be able to live with myself.

Franz von Werra:
Thanks for the ride and for your so amusing conversation.

R.A.F. Intelligence Officer:
This movement of prisoners to Canada, sir. POW Administration have asked for a list of any you'd like to keep here for further interrogation.

RAF Interrogator:
Who were you thinking of?

R.A.F. Intelligence Officer:
Well, what about von Werra, sir?

RAF Interrogator:
Oh. Oh, I wouldn't want to deprive him of a nice healthy sea voyage. In fact, I'd recommend a special escort for von Werra to make quite certain he gets there.