The Oscars

Neil Patrick Harris:
[about Benedict Cumberbatch's name] It's not only the coolest name in movies, it's also the sound you get when you ask John Travolta to pronounce "Ben Affleck".

Neil Patrick Harris:
Welcome to the 87th Oscars. Tonight, we honor Hollywood's best and whitest. Sorry, brightest.

[after J.K. Simmons won Best Supporting Actor]

Neil Patrick Harris:
[to the Farmer's Insurance jingle] He won an Oscar. Bum ba dum bum bum bum bum.

Sean Penn:
[regarding Best Picture] And... the Oscar goes to...

[pause]

Sean Penn:
Who gave this son of a b*tch his green card? "Birdman".

Himself - Winner:
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Wow, thank you. Thank you to the Academy. Thank you to everyone involved in the making of "Whiplash." And I am grateful every day for the most remarkable person I know: my wife, the wonderful Michelle Schumacher. I'm grateful for your love, your kindness, your wisdom, your sacrifice and your patience. Which brings me to the above-average children - even though I may try their patience more. Joe and Olivia, you are extraordinary human beings. Smart, funny, kind, loving people, and that's because you are a reflection of your mother. And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I've told this [to] like a billion people or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you're lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call 'em. Don't text. Don't email. Call them on the phone. Tell 'em you love 'em, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Herself - Winner:
Best Costume Design: Thank you, all of you. Thank you very much, members of the Academy. And thank you, Wes. This is - this is you. This I should share with you. You've been a great inspiration. You are like a conductor. You are like a composer. You are like - you are our director and you inspire us, all of us, that have been nominated here. If it wasn't for you, this movie, you know, I couldn't have done it this way. And thank you very much, Wes. Thank you for "Life Aquatic." Thank you for "Darjeeling Limited." Thank you for this one. And thank you, all of you. Thank you.

Herself - Winner:
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Hello. I'd like to say thank you so much to the Academy. This is a great honor. Secondly, I'd like to thank my dear friend, Bill Murray, who introduced me to Wes seventeen years ago in "Rushmore." And of course to thank Wes. Without you, Wes, we wouldn't be here, any of us. It's been such a pleasure working with you over all these years. I'd like to thank my family, of course. And all the amazing assistants who made this possible for both of us: Julie Dartnell and Emma Mash, Norma Webb and all my other people with me. Thank you so much.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: And I'd like to thank, thank Wes. Such an amazing movie and a great experience. I'd like to thank my crew: Duncan Jarman, Stephen Murphy, Dave Malinowski, Josh Weston. And I'd like to thank the legendary makeup artist Dick Smith, whose innovation and - who passed away last year - his innovation and his generosity has helped us all raise the bar.

Herself - Winner:
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Foreign Language Film: Ah, god. How did I get here? We made a film about - as you saw, black and white - about the need for silence and withdrawal from the world and contemplation. And here we are at the epicenter of noise and world attention. Fantastic, you know, life is full of surprises. So, I'd like to thank the Academy. I'm honored, surprised and overwhelmed. I'd like to thank the people who backed our film: the producers, Eric Abraham of Portobello, Piotr Dzieciol, Agnieszka Odorowicz of the Polish Film Institute, and many others. They backed - oh, and a U.S. distributor who did a great job [music begins to play] for very little money. Oh, wrap up. Good, okay. So, quickly to the... And to my Polish friends who are in front of the TV. The crew who were in the trenches with us and who are totally drunk now. And you are fantastic, you were brilliant. You carried me through this film. And you are what I love about Poland. You're resilient, courageous, brave and funny. [Music builds to a loud crescendo] And you can take a drink. And "Ida," I would like to dedicate it to my late wife [music ends] and my parents, who are not among the living but who are totally inside this film, and they have a lot to do with the film. And my children, who are hopefully watching, who are still alive. [Audience applause builds loudly] Thank you, thank you. Victor and Maria... [Music begins again] Victor and Maria, I love you. You are the main prize. Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: Crikey, alright. These are big buggers. These are heavier. We're only little and they're heavy to us. I'm particularly happy 'cause this now means I can get a free donut at my local bakery, the Pump Street Bakery. They do fantastic donuts.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: Yes.

Himself - Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: Should we stick to the script?

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: Yes.

Himself - Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: Stick to the script. Thank you to the Academy. You've been brilliant. Twenty-two seconds to go. Thanks to my crew, who all give their time for free. Short films are made, not with money, they're made with tenacity and lots of favors. Impossible to do it without them. Thank you to Sally Hawkins, who donated her incredible talent to us for nothing. This is for you.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: And thank you to the Academy.

Himself - Winner:
Best Live Action Short Film: Thank you to the Academy. More importantly, we'd like to - did I do that? [Music begins] We'd like to - the music - we'd like to thank all the volunteers around the world in crisis centers who give their time for nothing, including our mums. Including our mums, James' mum and my mum volunteer for nothing. Friends and family back home. Derry, who should've been here. And most of all, Miranda, I love you.

Herself - Winner:
Best Documentary Short: You make this look easy. Oh my god. We want to thank the dedicated people at the crisis line and everywhere who care for veterans as if their own lives depended on it. This immense, incredible honor really goes to the veterans and their families who are brave enough to ask for help. We want to thank the Academy, the visionary Sheila Nevins, who backed us all the way. HBO, Jackie Glover, Geof Bartz, our incredible crew, Don, Jake, Mom, Dad and Dana Perry.

Herself - Co-Winner:
Best Documentary Short: Okay, I'd also like to thank the Academy. I had to write this down so I don't forget my children's names. My family: my husband Hart Perry, my children [music begins] Nicholas, Michael Perry. And I want to dedicate this to my son Evan Perry. We lost him to suicide. We should talk about suicide out loud. This is for him. Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Sound Mixing: Thank you, Academy, for this honor. We're thrilled to be here. Damien Chazelle, I don't quite know where you are. There he is. Under extremely difficult conditions you showed us the meaning of leadership, and under that leadership a creative collaboration blossomed. And that creativity is really what helps us do our job, so thank you. David Lancaster, Helen Estabrook, Jason Blum, Couper Samuelson, everybody at Blumhouse, thank you. It's pretty big up here.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Sound Mixing: Thank you, Stella, Jeff and Carol.

Himself - Winner:
Best Sound Mixing: To our wives. Our parents are here; we're so happy you can all join us here. Our wives, we love you.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Sound Mixing: Thanks, Mike and Dave. My crew, you guys are awesome.

Himself - Winner:
Best Sound Mixing: Our entire team at Technicolor. Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Sound Editing: Thank you to the Academy. First of all, to Mr. Clint Eastwood, it's always been an honor and a privilege to work with you. You are the best. To Rob Lorenz, Bradley Cooper and the entire Malpaso team, thank you for your inspiration and your support. To Kim Waugh and the Warner Bros. family. To my family at home, Debbie, Blu, Kevin and Hailey, thank you, I love you. And to our incredible sound team.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Sound Editing: We want to mention a few people that we just really wouldn't be up here without, key crewmembers: Jason King, Tom Ozanich, Katy Wood and Michael Dressel. And to my family, Jackie, Andy and Bill. Love you, guys. Thank you very much.

Herself - Winner:
Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Okay, Jesus. Thank you to the Academy, to my beautiful, powerful nominees. To IFC, Jonathan Sehring, John Sloss, Cathleen Sutherland, Molly Madden, David DeCamillo, our whole cast and our crew. My "Boyhood" family, who I love and admire: our brilliant director, Richard Linklater; the impeccable Ethan Hawke; my lovelies, Ellar Coltrane, Lorelei Linklater. Thomas and Paul, thank you for giving me my beautiful children. Enzo and Harlow, you're the deepest people that I know. My friends who all work so hard to make this world a better place. To my parents, Rosanna, Richmond, Alexis and David. To my favorite painter in the world, Eric White, for the inspiration of living with a genius. To my heroes, volunteers and experts who have helped me bring ecological sanitation to the developing world with GiveLove.org. To every woman who gave birth. To every taxpayer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else's equal rights. It's our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the United States of America.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Visual Effects: Thank you very much, the Academy, for this. Thank you to Chris Nolan and Emma Thomas for taking us on an amazing voyage across space and time. Thank you to Paramount and Warner Bros. To our producers, Kevin Elam and Ann Podlozny. To the teams at Double Negative, New Deal Studios and our amazing special effects teams. To all our friends and family who sustain and support us through all of this. To my amazing wife and fantastic children for putting up with so much. And thank you to one of the smartest people on Earth, Professor Kip Thorne of Caltech, and all the explorers of science who show us the universe in all its amazing and terrifying beauty. And one of these [holding up the Oscar] apparently is good for a free drink, so we're gonna go and test that out back there. Thank you.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Visual Effects: Cursum perficio!

Himself - Winner:
Best Animated Short Film: Oh, man. The shorts are so freakin' amazing this year. Thank you, the Academy, for recognizing short animated films. They're my favorite thing to make and watch. Thanks, John Lasseter, Ed Catmull and Andrew Millstein, for letting me make my film. To Jeff Turley, my production designer, who's the best painter alive. And he's the reason that the short looks so great. And the rest of the crew at Disney Animation, you guys are the best, best in the business. And to my mom and dad, I love you. And everybody back in Cincinnati watching right now, and my beautiful wife Ali, thank you.

Herself - Co-Winner:
Best Animated Short Film: To my husband Mack, to my kids, Cooper and Miranda, thank you for all the nights you let me miss so I could pursue this crazy career. Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Animated Film: We'd really like to thank the Academy for honoring our film. Congratulations to all our fellow nominees. This has been an amazing year for animated films and we are privileged to be in your company. Thank you to everybody at the Walt Disney Studios, especially Mr. John Lasseter, the best boss in the world. [Applause] Absolutely. Absolutely. To the cast and the crew - [Audience member yells; nominees point towards the balcony] You're right, baby! To the cast and the crew of "Big Hero 6," thank you for your talent, thank you for your passion. You guys put your heart and soul into this movie and we are forever, eternally grateful. To our wives, thank you, guys - Astrid, Mary, my Deniece - thank you, guys, so much for supporting us while we got to live out our dream every day. Once upon a time, there was a freckle-faced little boy who told his mom and his dad that one day he was gonna work at Walt Disney Animation, and they did something amazing: they supported him and they believed him. And from the bottom of his heart, he thanks them. Thank you.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Animated Film: Love you, Mary.

Himself - Winner:
Best Production Design: Thank you to the Academy for this award. And thank you, thank you, thank you to Wes Anderson for making this beautiful film. Wes, making "The Grand Budapest" with you was a dream come true and I just, I can't say thank you enough. Thanks as well to Ralph, Tony and the magnificent cast. To Steven Rales, Scott Rudin, Jeremy Dawson. And thank you to our art department. We're here because of the tremendous effort of our whole team, from set dressing and construction to graphics and props. We're so, so proud of you all tonight; we share this award with you. And finally, thank you to my family, to my teachers, and to a fellow named Mark Friedberg who gave me my start and showed me how it's done right.

Herself - Co-Winner:
Best Production Design and Co-Nominated: Best Production Design: And thank you, Wes, for a brilliant script.

Himself - Winner:
Best Cinematography: Wow. This is extraordinary. Thank you so much. I want to thank the Academy for this fantastic honor and I would like to share it with the cast and crew of the movie and all the nominees. I want to especially share this with my friend Alejandro Gonzalez I??rritu, an extraordinary director - to your curiosity, your passion and your friendship. I want to share this also with my wife Lauren, and with Ale and Dani, with my parents and my family. And thank you so much.

Himself - Winner:
Best Film Editing: Wow. I want to thank the Academy for honoring "Whiplash" with this award. I couldn't have done this without the contributions of the entire cast and crew of "Whiplash," Blumhouse, Bold Films, Right of Way Films, our amazing team at Sony Pictures Classics, Michael Barker and Tom Bernard, and our team at WME. Also, my assistant editors John To and Eugene Lok, I couldn't have done it without you guys. Miles Teller and J.K. Simmons, I need to thank you for delivering gold to the cutting room every day. And most of all, I need to thank the person who never once threw a chair at my head but always pushed to make it better, the writer and director, Damien Chazelle. Damien, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this journey with me. I... I will forever be indebted to you; your art changed my life. And to Lah Cross and Jim Cross, my mother and father, and my beautiful wife Holly, and my children Nova and Peri, you made my life. Thank you so much.

Herself - Winner:
Best Documentary Feature: Thank you so much to the Academy. I'd like to first thank the documentary community. It's an incredible joy to work among people who support each other so deeply, risk so much and do such incredible work. We don't stand here alone. The work we do, and that needs to be seen by the public, is possible through the brave organizations that support us. We'd like to thank RADiUS, Participant, HBO, BRITDOC and the many, many, many organizations who had our back making this film. The disclosures that Edward Snowden reveals don't only expose a threat to our privacy but to our democracy itself. When the most important decisions being made affecting all of us are made in secret we lose our ability to check the powers that control. Thank you to Edward Snowden for his courage and for the many other whistleblowers. And I share this with Glenn Greenwald and other journalists who are exposing truth. Thank you.

Himself - Performer:
Glory and Co-Winner: Best Original Song: First, I would like to thank God that lives in us all. Recently John and I got to go to Selma and perform "Glory" on the same bridge that Dr. King and the people of the civil rights movement marched on fifty years ago. This bridge was once a landmark of a divided nation but now is a symbol for change. The spirit of this bridge transcends race, gender, religion, sexual orientation and social status. The spirit of this bridge connects the kid from the South Side of Chicago dreaming of a better life, to those in France standing up for their freedom of expression, to the people in Hong Kong protesting for democracy. This bridge was built on hope, welded with compassion and elevated by love for all human beings.

Himself - Performer:
Glory and Winner: Best Original Song: Thank you. Nina Simone said it's an artist's duty to reflect the times in which we live. We wrote this song for a film that was based on events that were fifty years ago, but we say that Selma is now because the struggle for justice is right now. We know that the Voting Rights Act that they fought for fifty years ago is being compromised right now in this country today. We know that right now the struggle for freedom and justice is real. We live in the most incarcerated country in the world. There are more black men under correctional control today than were under slavery in 1850. When people are marching with our song, we want to tell you we are with you, we see you, we love you, and march on. God bless you.

Himself - Performer:
Glory and Co-Winner: Best Original Song: Thank you, Ava. Thank you, Ava. Thank you, thank you, Ava, Oprah, and Harpo and Plan B.

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Score and Nominee: Best Original Score: Ah well. Merci. Merci beaucoup. Wes, you're a genius. This is good. You offered me a great view [gesturing toward the audience] from "The Grand Budapest." Thank you. It's been a beautiful decade for me in Hollywood. I've worked with great directors and producers and I'm very grateful. I need to thank Laura Engel, Mark Graham, Katz*, my Greek mother. Solre, I met you long ago for my first session and you played the violin, and you made everything happen for me. So, [holding up the Oscar] this is for you. Thank you.

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: Wow. The journey of "Birdman" start three years ago when I ask Nico, Armando and Alexander to follow me in a crazy idea. And because they are crazy, they did it and we wrote together "Birdman." And for that I am all my life grateful and thankful for that, to share this experience with them. We want to thank our incredible cast: Emma, Naomi, Andrea, Amy, Lindsay, Mr. Norton, Zach and the maestro of maestros, Mr. Michael Keaton - woof - for making this film fly. Without you guys we would not be here. James Skotchdopole, John Lesher, the producers. And I want to thank, too, obviously, the great support from Arnon Milchan, Brad Weston from New Regency and all the team on Fox Searchlight, Nancy Utley - god, um, um, um, um - Claudia Lewis and Steve Gilula and all the people to help us. Really, thank you very much for all the audience to see this crazy film. My kids Eliseo, Maria Eladia, my wife Maria Eladia. Thank you very much for all. Thank you. This award [applause begins] - wait, wait! Family time!

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Original Screenplay: Nyla, Amalia and Aleyna, my daughters, who are my reason.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Original Screenplay: Titi, Adri?n, Clari, Mariana, our dog Larry.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Original Screenplay: Victor, Ch?a, que est?n all? arriba en el cuarto piso, Luciana, Amador y Torino, and toda la Argentina.

Himself - Winner:
Best Adapted Screenplay: Thank you so much to the Academy... and to Oprah... for this. I need to shower my love and kisses on everyone who's a part of our "Imitation Game" family. Morten, Nora, Ido, Teddy, Keira, Benedict, Billy, Alexandre, our entire cast, Maria, who's back there somewhere. I love you guys so much. Thank you for this film. I'm so indebted to you for it. So here's, here's the thing. Alan Turing never got to stand on a stage like this and look out at all of these disconcertingly attractive faces, and I do. And that's the most unfair thing I think I've ever heard. So, in this brief time here, what I want to use it to do is to say this: When I was sixteen years old I tried to kill myself, because I felt weird and I felt different and I felt like I did not belong. And now I'm standing here. And so I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she's weird or she's different or she doesn't fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. You do. Stay weird. Stay different. And then when it's your turn and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along. Thank you so much. I love you guys.

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: Good luck charm work, because in the DGA Awards I was wearing a Raymond Carver shirt, a Billy Wilder tie and I won. But today, tonight, I am wearing the real Michael Keaton tighty whities. Thank you. They are tight, smell like balls, but it work. I'm here. Thank you, Michael. Honestly, this is crazy in a way, talking about that little prick called ego. Ego loves competition, right? Because for someone to win, someone has to lose. But the paradox is that, you know, true art, true individual expression, as all the work of these incredible fellow filmmakers, can't be compared, can't be labeled, can't be defeat because they exist and our work only will be judged, as always, by time. So, I am, you know, I [am] very thankful, grateful, humbly honored by the Academy which I thank for this incredible recognition. Which I have it here [the Oscar] because the work of all the actors, all the producers. Chivo Lubezki - which I didn't mention - Chivo, I love you. You are the genius. You are the artist of our generation. Mart?n Hern?ndez, Antonio Sanchez, so many people that work in this film. And obviously, again, you know, I forgot all of you. I forgot so many people. This is like a slow-motion kind of moment in my life, so forget if I forgot anybody. I love you and un saludo a todos mis compatriotas mexicanos. Thank you very much.

Himself - Winner:
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to the Academy. I don't think I'm capable of articulating quite how I feel right now. Please know this, I am fully aware that I am a lucky, lucky man. This, this Oscar... wow! This Oscar, this belongs to all of those people around the world battling ALS. It belongs to one exceptional family: Stephen, Jane, Jonathan and the Hawking children. And I will be its custodian. And I will promise you I will look after him - I will polish him; I will answer his beck and call; I will wait on him hand and foot. But I would not be here were it not for an extraordinary troupe of people. My staggering partner in crime, Felicity Jones. My ferocious and yet incredibly kind director, James Marsh. Working Title, Focus, Lisa and Anthony, Nina, and my ingenious team of Dallas, Josh, Gene, Jason, Elan, Carl*, Britney* and Carrie and Pip. Now, finally, please, this is so extraordinary. I just want to thank my family and you, Hannah, my wife. I love you so much. We have a new fella comin' to share our apartment. Thank you.

Herself - Winner:
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Thank you so much. I read an article that said that winning an Oscar could lead to living five years longer. If that's true, I'd really like to thank the Academy because my husband is younger than me. There's no such thing as best actress, as is evidenced by the performances of my fellow nominees. I've been honored to be among you every step of the way. I am grateful for this and grateful for the opportunity to stand up here and thank people that I love. My manager Evelyn O'Neill, Kevin Huvane, Steven Huvane, Josh Lieberman. My family: my grandparents, my brother Peter, my sister Valerie, my mother and father who told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be if I got an education. Although I didn't think they meant being an actress. And I thank my dad for showing me the world. I want to thank everybody who made this movie: Sony Classics, Killer Films, James Brown, Lex Lutzus, Lisa Genova, Kristen Stewart, Alec Baldwin. I'm so happy, I'm thrilled, actually, that we were able to hopefully shine a light on Alzheimer's disease. So many people with this disease feel isolated and marginalized, and one of the wonderful things about movies is it makes us feel seen and not alone. And people with Alzheimer's deserve to be seen, so that we can find a cure. And finally, to our filmmakers, Wash Westmoreland and Richard Glatzer, who had hoped to be here tonight but they can't because of Richard's health. When Richard was diagnosed with ALS, Wash asked him what he wanted to do. Did he want to travel? Did he want to see the world? And he said that he wanted to make movies, and that's what he did. And finally, for my husband Bart and our children, Cal and Liv, thank you for my life, thank you for giving me a home. Thank you very much for this.

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: I don't want to talk. Oh my god, they want me to talk because I am the worst English-speaking guy here. Maybe next year the government will inflict some immigration rules to the Academy. Two Mexicans in a row, that's suspicious, I guess. I want to thank so many people that I forgot.

[Unintelligible]

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: Arnon, Brad Weston, again I thank you very much for believing in this crazy idea. All the people that were behind this film was really heroes because the idea was really crazy. A script that start with a middle-aged man, interior dressing room, cross-leg, floating, can go anywhere. And we are here. I don't know how that happened, but it happened. And, anyway, I just really want to thank anybody - everybody.

Himself - Co-Winner:
Best Picture: And I want to thank Christina, my kids, Emma and Joe. I want to thank our agents, Bryan, Roeg, Beth, everyone who helped get this movie made. It's amazing.

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: [Emmanuel Lubezki whispers into his ear] He's reminding me my wife.

[laughs!]

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: Maria, I love you. You know that, okay. We said that every morning when we wake up. Honestly, and my kids, but anyway. There are so many people to thank. I want to thank Tess Gallagher, which is the widow of Raymond Carver, who allow us to use the Raymond Carver story, which is incredible. I want to thank Guillermo del Toro and Alfonso Cuar?n, as I mention already, because they have been part of, these two, all my life and my career. And

[turning to the group behind him]

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: I don't know if you have something to say. I just want to take the opportunity - Michael. I want to say Michael and all the cast, but Michael was the guy who really, really - Michael, come.

Himself - Nominee:
Best Actor in a Leading Role: This has been a tremendous experience. This guy's as bold as bold can be. And it was just a tremendous honor for me to - look, it's great to be here. Who am I Kiddin'? This is just great fun. Thank you very much.

Himself - Winner:
Best Original Screenplay/Best Director and Best Picture: Finally, finally, I just want to, I want to take one second. I just want to take the opportunity. I want to dedicate this award for my fellow Mexicans. The ones who live in Mexico, I pray that we can find and build the government that we deserve. And the ones that live in this country who are part of the latest generation of immigrants in this country, I just pray that they can be treated with the same dignity and respect of the ones who came before and built this incredible immigrant nation. Thank you very much.