The Parkers

Kenny Davis:
[playing Scrabble] "U pin"? That's not a word.

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
No, it's "up in", as in: I'm kicking your butt "up in" here.

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
The next time you put Outkast before Jesus I'm gonna cast you out of this house.

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
[while directing a church choir] Kim is our soloist. Now go on, baby. Sing mama's favorite song.

Kimberly 'Kim' Parker:
[singing] Shake your booty all night!

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
No! Not that one!

[after the Reverend reminds Nikki about dinner]

Andell Wilkerson:
You're going out with the Reverend again? That's the fifth time this week.

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
It's the sixth and it's strictly business.

Gertude:
More like funny business.

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
No, more like none of your business.

Kimberly 'Kim' Parker:
Hey Andell, why don't you join the choir?

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
Yeah, put some of that hot air to good use.

Professor Stanley Oglevee:
I'm in love with Nikki Parker.

Stevie Van Lowe:
This calls for a celebration! Say it loud, everyone: "I'm black and I'm proud!" [silence] "I'm proud and I'm black?" what? [silence] No, really, what?

Professor Stanley Oglevee:
[tutoring Kim] What do you know about Malcolm X?

Kimberly 'Kim' Parker:
It was way too long, but Denzel was fiiiine!

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
Michael, is that you? I wouldn't recognize you if it wasn't for them ears. You look good. You look like you've put on some weight. [meaning muscles]

Michael:
Thanks, so do you. [not meaning muscles]

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
Oh, well, thank you.

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
Well, you know what they say, "There's always more room for alizay!"

Winston's Ex-Wife/Fiance:
Are you listening to me?

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
No. Now shut up!

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
That hoochie.

Kimberly Ann Parker:
Ooooo, Regina, I know who yo baby daddy is.

Regina Foster:
How did you find out?

Kimberly Ann Parker:
From my girl, Shaquan. And she told me that it's Freddy [snaps] Fabulous.

Regina Foster:
[to Shaquan] And how do you know?

Shaquan:
I got skills yo.

Tyrell 'T' Radcliffe:
[to Regina] Was there a third party involved?

"Ideal" Lead Singer:
This song goes out to a newly engaged couple in the audience. [a spotlight shines on the Professor]

Professor Stanley Oglevee:
She's gone. Get that damn light off of me.

"Ideal" Lead Singer:
Oh... ok. Well, how about a couple who just got back together. [Spotlight shines on Nikki]

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
Valentine's Day is for suckas. Get that damn light off of me.

Professor Stanley Oglevee:
[after discovering his dog in the Parkers' dryer] Wha... what happened?

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
I guess we didn't use enough Bounce.

Professor Stanley Oglevee:
What kind of freaks are you people?

Nicole 'Nikki' Parker:
Now, that depends on the type of freak you're looking for.