The Photon Effect

Derek Powers:
Jay, I might be leaving American Antenna. Your thoughts?

Jay Powers:
I say we get desk jobs.

Kelly Hammond:
What are you guys, cops?

Jay Powers:
No, we're superheroes.

Derek Powers:
You know what I was thinking, Bob? You're a proud man. You'd probably react pretty severely to childish antagonizing comments. I mean, let's say that somebody that worked for you called you an a**hole right to your face.

Bob Chase:
I'd find that very insulting, and insubordinate.

Derek Powers:
What happened?

Dr. Lou Fisner:
Damn it, you stole my line.

Derek Powers:
What's happening to me?

Dr. Lou Fisner:
Another fantastic question, my boy.

Kelly Hammond:
This is something very exciting they've been working on this year. It's a less bulky more effective radiation containment suit.

Derek Powers:
Less bulky you say. Uh, there's no bulk. In fact, there's barely anything here at all.

Kelly Hammond:
Well, it's skin-tight means more sensitivity. Especially the thinkers.

Derek Powers:
Right, what are they ribbed? Let me guess, you roll this on, right?

Police Officer:
License and registration, please.

Jay Powers:
You see, you just told me to put my hands outside the car, genius. I see how you got this job now. Couldn't quite make it into sanitation, could you?

Police Officer:
[gets gun] That's it. Out of the car, now.

Jay Powers:
You like barking orders, don't you? I guess when you're in a position of power, you can do anything you want to other people, can't you? Like this.

[makes the cop crap his pants]

Derek Powers:
Dude, knock it off. You're out of your mind!

Jay Powers:
You knock it off, man. I knew you'd be a baby when I got my super powers! You're so jealous and insecure, it's embarrassing.

Derek Powers:
What super power? The ability to make someone sh*t themselves?

Derek Powers:
Bob?

Bob Chase:
Yes, Derek.

Derek Powers:
You're making me hungry.

Bob Chase:
And?

Derek Powers:
You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.