The Polar Express

Conductor:
Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see.

Conductor:
One thing about trains: It doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on.

Conductor:
[repeated line] All aboard!

Conductor:
[repeated line] Why, to the North Pole, of course! This is the Polar Express!

Conductor:
[repeated line] That's more like it.

Conductor:
What in the name of Mike?!

Conductor:
Caribou crossing?!

Hero Boy:
[first line, as narrator] On Christmas Eve, many years ago I lay quietly in my bed. I did not rustle the sheets. I breathed slowly and silently. I was listening for a sound I was afraid I'd never hear. The ringing bells of Santa's sleigh.

Hero Boy:
[last line, as narrator] At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell. But as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found, one Christmas, that she could no longer hear it's sweet sound. Though I have grown old, the bell still rings for me. As it does for all who truly believe.

Hero Boy:
[repeated line] I believe.

Hero Girl:
[singing] The best time of the year When everyone comes home. With all this Christmas cheer, It's hard to be alone. Putting up the Christmas tree With friends who come around. It's so much fun When Christmas comes to town.

Santa:
This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit of Christmas as am I. Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart.

Santa:
[holding up the silver sleigh bell] The first gift of Christmas!

Santa:
[in a note to Hero Boy] Found this on the seat of my sleigh. Better fix that hole in your pocket. Mr. C.

Hobo:
[to the Hero Boy] One more thing; do you believe in ghosts? [the Hero Boy shakes his head, then in a sinister tone] Interesting.

Conductor:
Well? You coming?

Hero Boy:
Where?

Conductor:
Why, to the North Pole, of course! This is the Polar Express!

Conductor:
Who in the blazes applied that emergency brake?!

Know-It-All:
[points to the Hero Boy] He did.

Conductor:
[sternly approaches the Hero Boy] You! In case you didn't know, that cord is for emergency purposes only! And in case you weren't aware, Tonight is Christmas Eve! And in case you hadn't noticed, this train is on a very tight schedule! Now, young man, Christmas may not be important to some people, but it is very important to the rest of us!

Hero Boy:
But... But...

Hero Girl:
...he was just trying to stop the train so that kid could get on.

Conductor:
I see. Young man, is that what happened?

Hero Boy:
[Nods]

Conductor:
Well, let me remind you we are on a very tight schedule. I've never been late before [checks watch] a-a-and I am certainly not going to be late tonight! Now, everybody, take your seats, please! Thank you.

Conductor:
[to Hero Girl] Am I to understand you lost your ticket?

Hero Boy:
She didn't lose her ticket. I lost it. Well, the wind blew it out of my hand. [Shows hero girl his ticket] You can have my ticket!

Conductor:
Ah! These tickets are not transferable! [gives back the hero boy his ticket] Young lady, you're just gonna have to come along with me! [they leave through the back of the car]

Know-It-All:
You know what's gonna happen now don't ya? He's gonna throw her off the train. He's gonna probably throw her right off the rear platform. It's standard procedure. That way, she won't get sucked down under the wheels. They may slow the train down a little bit, but they're never gonna stop it.

Hero Boy:
Stop it? That's it! I have to stop the train again.

Know-It-All:
No, please, don't do that again.

Hobo:
Is there something I can do for you?

Hero Boy:
I'm looking for a girl.

Hobo:
A gir...? [bursts out laughing hysterically] Ain't we all?!

Hobo:
What exactly is your persuasion on the big man? Since you brought him up.

Hero Boy:
Well, I... I want to believe. But...

Hobo:
But you don't wanna be bamboozled. You don't wanna be led down the primrose path. You don't wanna be conned or duped, have the wool pulled over your eyes. Hoodwinked. You don't wanna be taken for a ride, railroaded. Seeing is believing. Am I right?

Hobo:
That skirt you're chasing must've moved on ahead. We got to high tail it to the hog, pronto!

Hero Boy:
The hog?

Hobo:
The engine. The engine, you tenderfoot. We've got to make it before we hit Flat-Top Tunnel.

Hero Boy:
Why?

Hobo:
[sighs] So many questions. There's but one inch of clearance between the roof of this rattler and the top of Flat-Top Tunnel. Savvy?

Steamer:
I make this herd to be at least a 100,000, maybe even a million. It's 'gon be hours before they clear this track!

Smokey:
A tough nut to crack!

Conductor:
Boy, we are in some serious jelly!

Steamer:
And jam!

Smokey:
Tight spot!

Steamer:
Up a creek!

Smokey:
Up a tree!

Steamer:
In the grass!

Smokey:
I'll tell you what's grass...

Hero Boy:
Is everything all right? What do we do?

Conductor:
Considering we've lost communications with the engineer, we are standing totally exposed on the front of the locomotive, the train appears to be accelerating uncontrollably, and we are rapidly approaching Glacier Gulch which happens to be the steepest downhill grade in the world, I suggest we all hold on...TIGHTLY!!!

Conductor:
It's five minutes to midnight.

Know-It-All:
What gives? Its been five minutes to midnight for the last four minutes.

Conductor:
Exactly!

Santa:
I see you've made some new friends.

Billy:
Yes, sir. I sure have.

Santa:
That's a lucky lad. There's no greater gift than friendship.

Hero Girl:
It's everything I dreamed it would be.

Billy:
Could all this be nothing but a dream?

Hero Boy:
No.

This Holiday Season... Believe

Journey Beyond Your Imagination

Don't miss the holiday film of the season

Hobo:
That skirt you're chasing must have moved on ahead. We gotta hightail it to the hog, pronto!

Hero Boy:
To the hog?

Hobo:
The engine. The engine, you tenderfoot. We gotta make the engine before we hit Flat-Top Tunnel.

Hero Boy:
Why? How come?

Hobo:
[sighs] So many questions. There's but one inch of clearance between the roof of this rattler and the roof of Flat-Top Tunnel. Savvy? It's just a run up to the hump, kid! This'll be interesting! [Hobo slides backward and uses his muck stick on the handle but Hero Boy slips off him] Get back on, kid! Hurry! Grab my muck stick! [Hero Boy does so and Hobo swings him back on the roof and the sled down to the engine] There's only one trick to this, kid! When I say "jump"... [Flat-Top Tunnel's teeth fly out] you JUMP!!! [Hero Boy jumps on to the tender and slides down the coal and finds Hero Girl in charge of the train]

Hero Boy:
[To Hero Girl] You! I thought you got thrown off and, you're driving the train?!

Hero Girl:
They put me in charge. The engineer had to check the light.

Steamer:
[holding a light bulb for Smokey to install on the train] Here's the light! Careful. All right, now!

[After Hero Boy stops the train seconds before impact with thousands of caribou, the fireman and engineer, the twins on the front of the engine on the train]

Conductor:
There can be no Christmas without the Polar Express arriving on time!!! Am I the only one who understands that?!?!?! [enters the engine's cabin] YOU!!!! I should've known! Young man, are you bound and determined that this train never reaches the North Pole?!

Hero Girl:
[leans out of the window of the engine and points her finger at some Caribou] But look!

Conductor:
[looks out the window] CARIBOU CROSSING?!

[Outside...]

Engineer:
I make that herd to be at least 100,000, maybe even 1,000,000! It's gonna be hours before they clear this track!

Fireman:
A tough nut to crack!

Conductor:
Boy, we are in some serious jelly!

Engineer:
And in a jam!

Fireman:
Tight spot!

Engineer:
Up a creek!

Fireman:
Up a tree!

Engineer:
Lost in the grass!

Fireman:
I'll tell you what's grass, our a-- [Hero Boy slips and pulls the fireman's beard resulting in him yelling in pain]

Conductor:
Problem solved! All ahead, slow!

Hero Boy:
We're going pretty fast.

Conductor:
Tell the engineer to slow down.

Hero Girl:
SLOW IT DOWN! WATCH THE SPEED!!!!!

Engineer:
Ah! Jumping Jeepers, the cotter pin sheared off!

Fireman:
What?

Engineer:
The pin!

Fireman:
Where?

Engineer and fireman:
There! Oh, no!

Hero Girl:
They can't hear me!

Conductor:
They can't? Oh. I don't like the look of this. Quick, under the safety bar!

Hero Boy:
Is every-- everything all right?! What do we do?!

Conductor:
Well, considering the fact that we have lost communications with the engineer, we are standing totally exposed on the front of the locomotive, the train appears to be accelerating uncontrollably, and we are rapidly approaching Glacier Gulch, which happens to be the steepest downhill grade in the world! I suggest, we all hold on... TIGHTLY!!!!!!!!! [the train speeds down with the Conductor, Hero Boy, and Hero Girl standing on the front of the engine while the conductor screams]

Engineer and fireman:
Whoa! The pin! [They try to grab it, but goes down to Smokey's stomach leaving him yelling]

Conductor:
Jiminy Christmas, the ice has frozen over the tracks!

Conductor:
All right. All right, ladies and gentlemen, two columns, if you please. Shorter in the front, taller in the rear. Even-numbered birthdays on the right, odd-numbered on the left. No pushing. No pushing. But let's not dilly-dally, it's five minutes to midnight.

Know-It-All:
Hey, what gives? It was five minutes until midnight four minutes ago.

Conductor:
Exactly!

Hero Boy:
We're going to be okay. [They get diverted onto another track downhill] MAYBE NOOOOOOOT!!! The emergency brake! The emergency brake! There's no brake! I can't find the brake!!

Santa:

So, what do you want for Christmas?

Hero Boy (Chris):

I want that bell of the reindeer.

Santa:
Alright, [Santa holding the bell up the sky] The first gift of Christmas!

Kids and elves:

{applauing}

[Something grabs Billy's foot]

Billy:
AAAH! Something's got me! It's got my leg! [the Hero Boy and Hero Girl grab Billy's arm]

Hero Girl:
I can't hold him!

Hero Boy:
Give me your other hand. Give me your other hand!

Billy:
I can't!

Hero Boy:
On three! One, two, three! [they pull Billy up, but he is still stuck] Look! [sees a hand grabbing Billy's foot]

Billy:
It's still got me!

Hero Boy:
On three again! One, two, three! [they pull Billy up again, and the person pulling Billy is revealed to be the Know-It-All] You?!

Know-It-All:
[feigning shock] You?!

Hero Girl:
What are you doin' here!?

Know-It-All:
Same as you, I'm checkin' out my Christmas presents. I wanna make sure I'm gettin' everything on my list. All I found was one present, and all it had was a bunch of stupid underwear!

[All the children gather with the Conductor and elves in the North Pole city square. The elves bring the reindeer out]

Elves:
[singing] It's the spirit of the season! You can feel it in the air! You can hear it if you listen! Everywhere, so much care, like a prayer, whatever it is, you need to share it! [the reindeer are lined up] It's the spirit of the season! [Horns are played. The elves bring the harnesses out] It's the spirit of the season! You can feel it in the air! [Everyone cheers. The elves place the harnesses on the reindeer]

Hero Girl:
Aren't those bells the most beautiful sound?

[The Hero Boy is unable to hear the bells. The entire square grows silent]

Elves:
[singing] Ohhh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm tellin' you why! Santa Claus is comin'... TO TOWN! [Santa finally emerges from the doors. A massive cheer erupts from the children and elves as Frank Sinatra's 1948 recording of "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" begins blaring over the city's PA system]

Recorded music:
[singing] You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm tellin' you why! Santa Claus is comin'... to town. He's makin' a list--

Hero Girl:
[elated] He's here! He's here!

Hero Boy:
[confused] Where!?

Billy:
[ecstatic] I see him! He's over there!

Hero Boy:
I can't see him!

Recorded music:
Santa Claus is comin' to town. [The Conductor takes off his hat in respect. The Hero Boy is unable to see Santa, due to the elves stacking themselves on top of each other, blocking his view] He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! Oh, you better watch out--

Hero Boy:
I can't see him! I CAN'T SEE HIM!!!

Recorded music:
Santa Claus is comin' to town. [Suddenly, a loud clatter erupts from the reindeer, who prance about excitedly. The camera zooms in on the Hero Boy's eyes. The sequence begins to slow down] You better watch ouuuut, beetteer noot cryyyy, [a bell breaks loose from the harness and is thrown into the air] beetteer noot pooouut, [the bell falls back down, bounces on the ground and rolls right to the Hero Boy] III'm teeellin' yooou whhyyyy! Saaanta Clauus iis cooomiiin'... too toooooown.

Know-It-All:
Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, you! Do you know what kind of train this is?

Hero Boy:
Huh?

Know-It-All:
Train, do you know what kind of train this is? Well, do ya?

Hero Boy:
Uh...

Hero Girl:
Of course! It's a MAGIC train! We're going to the North Pole.

Know-It-All:
Ah, I know it's a magic train. Actually, it's a Baldwin 284 S3-class Berkshire steam locomotive, built in 1931 at the Baldwin Locomotive Works. It weighs 456,100 pounds and has attractive 456,450 pounds, top speed is --

Hero Boy:
[overlapping] Are we really going to the North Pole?

Hero Girl:
Mm-hmm.

Know-It-All:
Hey, look everybody!

Hero Girl:
Isn't that wonderful?

Know-It-All:
Herpolsheimer's! Herpolsheimer's!

[Herpolsheimer's passes by outside.]

Know-It-All:
Wow, look at all those presents! I want ALL of 'em!

Hero Girl:
It's so Christmassy and cozy and beautiful.

[The Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas" plays inside the shop.]

Conductor:
Tickets. Tickets, please. Tickets.

Hobo:
[humming] When the snow lay 'round 'bout, deep and crisp... [notices Hero Boy] Is there somethin' I can do for you?

Hero Boy:
I'm looking for a girl.

Hobo:
A gi-? [bursts out laughing hysterically] Ain't we all?!

Hero Boy:
I have her ticket.

Hobo:
[takes the ticket] Well, lookie. Lookie here. Oh, this is a... this is an official, authentic, genuine ticket to ride. Oh, you'd better keep this in a safe place, young man. [gives the ticket back to Hero Boy] If I was you, I keep all my valuables right here. [shows his shoe] Right here in the old size 13. Experience shows this is the safest place. [Hero Boy places Hero Girl's ticket inside his shoe, under his foot where it will be safe.] Not that I have much use for those. Tickets. Nah. I ride for free. Oh, yeah, yeah. I hop aboard this rattler anytime I feels like it. I own this train. Oh, yeah. It's like I'm the king of this train. Yeah. The king of the Pol Ex. In fact, I am the king of the North Pole! [voice echoes and laughs] Oh, where's my manners? Sit, sit. Sit. Sit. Take a... take a load off. Hey, would you like some Joe? Nice hot refreshment. Perfect for a cold winter's night. [He pours some Joe in a cup and gives it to Hero Boy, who looks at it and takes a sip, but then coughs and chokes.] There, bless you.

Hero Boy:
Hey, look...a present! It's goin' to my town! ...To someone named Billy.

Lonely Boy/Billy:
MY name is Billy!!

Hero Girl:
It says it's going to 11344 Edbrooke Avenue.

Lonely Boy/Billy:
That's MY address!!

Hero Girl:
It's still five to! I think we're gonna make it!

Know-It-All:
Of course. It's been five to for the last hour. We got plenty of time. We got nothing but time. We got time to kill.

Hero Boy:
You know what? I don't think we're gonna make it.

[The zeppelin is about to crash into the tree.]

Conductor:
I may be just an old railroader, and know nothing about lighter-than-air craft, but from my layman's perspective, you need more altitude!!

Elves in crowd:
MORE ALTITUDE!!!!!

Elf over speaker:
Altitude, please. A bit more altitude, please.

Zeppelin elves:
[jumping off] Geronimo!!!

[The decreased weight causes the zeppelin to rise up over the tree safely; the elves parachute to the ground.]

Conductor:
The Flying Elves. They are specialists. Do not try that at home, kids. Do not try that at home.