The Practical Pig

Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig:
[to each other] You're a pork sausage! You're a pork sausage!

Big Bad Wolf:
Pork sausage. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Pork pie!

[the little wolves are about to bake the pigs in a pie]

Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig:
You'll be sorry when your pop gets back and we ain't here.

Three Little Wolves:
Ha! We'll be sorry.

Practical Pig:
Didn't I tell you not to go swimming?

Fifer Pig:
Oh, we didn't go swimming, did we?

Fiddler Pig:
Oh, no.

[the lie detector detects a lie and spanks the two pigs]

Practical Pig:
Remember, this hurts me worse than it does you. [the lie detector sounds again and spanks Practical]

[the Big Bad Wolf gets caught in the Practical Pig's lie detector machine]

Practical Pig:
Where are my brothers?

Big Bad Wolf:
Your brothers? Never heard of 'em!

[the lie detector detects a lie and washes the wolf's mouth with soap and water]

Practical Pig:
Where are my brothers?

Big Bad Wolf:
I ain't seen 'em!

[the lie detector detects another lie and spanks the wolf on the rear]

Practical Pig:
WHERE ARE MY BROTHERS?

Big Bad Wolf:
I ain't... [He stops and looks at the lie detector, then turns back to Practical and speaks in a calmer voice] Now listen, buddy, you got me wrong. Why, I'm your pal.

[the detector detects still another lie and proceeds to punish the wolf more]

[the first two pigs notice the Practical Pig building the lie detector]

Fifer Pig:
[about the Practical Pig; laughing] He's building another wolf machine! He must be crazy in the bean.

Fiddler Pig:
To work all day is fun for him, but not for us. Let's take a swim!

Practical Pig:
Don't go swimming, do ya hear? The pond ain't safe; the wolf is near!

Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig:
[singing] He's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf...

[They make razzing and whistling noises in time with the closing quota of their song]

Fiddler Pig:
Last one in is a pork sausage!