The Practice

Bobby Donnell:
It's better that ten guilty men go free, than one innocent man suffer.

Eugene Young:
Bobby, if stupidity were a crime, your ass would be in jail for life!

Richard Bay:
What Mr. Donnell is saying is he doesn't trust juries. Well, that's the system of this country. And if it displeases him, perhaps he should move to Cuba.

Judge Zoey Hiller:
Mr. Bay, did you see the sign, "Check your soapbox at the door"?

Joey Heric:
Helen, can I call you Helen?

Helen:
No.

Joey Heric:
Okay, Dorothy.

Ellenor:
This is a no-brainer, what's stopping you?

Lindsay:
Some of us have brains.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
Let me be frank. The defendant is world-class scum. I'm sure he's guilty of the crime.

Eugene Young:
Well, I'm glad you have an open mind.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
Oh please. A mind is like a wound. If it's too open, you get an infection.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
I'm sorry, Mr. Bay. I'm not going to allow the prosecution to call defense counsel to impeach a state's witness. You got a bad bounce. You'll just have to deal with it.

Richard Bay:
This is a total gyp.

Helen:
We'd all kill. It's just the circumstances that vary.

Lindsay:
Now there's a proverb.

Bobby:
What kind of fairness is this? You're putting the system before a person's life.

Judge Hiller:
Damn right I am. That's why I wear the robe.

Lindsay:
What am I, a pineapple?

Helen Gamble:
I need it, Richard. Give it to me.

Richard Bay:
What?

Helen Gamble:
The speech. Why we do what we do.

Richard Bay:
Oh, I am not really in the mood after...

Helen Gamble:
PLEASE, Richard. I NEED it. Please give it to me. And don't just phone it in.

Richard Bay:
Helen...

Helen Gamble:
Please! Can't you see how demoralized I am?

Richard Bay:
OK. (takes a deep breath) There are heroes in this world. They're called District Attorneys. They don't get to have clients, people who smile at them at the end of the trial, who look them in the eye and say, "thank you." Nobody is there to appreciate the District Attorney, because we work for the state. And our gratitude comes only from knowing there's a tide out there. A tide the size of a tsunami coming out of a bottomless cesspool. A tide called crime, which, if left unchecked will rob every American of his freedom. A tide which strips individuals of the privilege of being able to, to walk down a dark street or take twenty dollars out of an ATM machine without fear of being mugged. All Congress does is talk, but it's the District Attorney who grabs his sword, who digs into the trenches and fights the fight. Who dogs justice day, after day, after day without thanks, without so much as a simple pat on the back. But we do it. We do it, we do it because we are the crusaders, the last frontier of American justice. Knowing that if a man cannot feel safe, he can never, never feel free.

Helen Gamble:
Thank you.

[accused of plotting his wife's death]

Client:
I guess you can't ask someone to trust you after you've planned their death.

Ellenor:
Heads we take the plea, tails we go for it. [flips coin] Tails. We go for it.

Lindsay:
This is why we get paid. To make these decisions.

Ellenor:
Can't let an innocent man go to jail.

Rebecca:
We don't even let our guilty ones go there.

Lindsay:
Your style is kind of, you know, Queen B*tch Killer Bee. Doesn't harsh go with that?

Helen:
Why yes Lindsay, harsh would go with that...

Lindsay:
If you were in my position...

Helen:
I would NEVER be in your position.

Lindsay:
Hey!

Helen:
Go to hell.

Lindsay:
You go to hell.

Bobby:
You think it's tough defending the guilty, Lindsay? Try the innocent... it's terrifying.

Bobby:
Once in a while you get an innocent, and that's why we do this.

Ellenor:
Has the prosecution paid you for your testimony today?

Witness:
I have been paid a small stipend for my expenses.

Ellenor:
Would that be more or less than they paid the judge?

Lucy:
My mother told me two things before she died. One was never let somebody push you around just because they're bigger or richer.

Ellenor:
What was the other thing she told you?

Lucy:
If you're ever in an argument, you can always trump with a dead mother.

[to another attorney]

Helen:
Oh, go kill yourself.

[to Helen]

Priest:
With Catholics like you, who needs Protestants?

Helen:
Who's the judge?

Richard:
Kittleson, I hate her too.

Helen:
And why is that?

Richard:
Because... Raymond Oz called me a midget at sidebar. She could've held him in contempt.

Helen:
He was the defendant! She...

Richard:
Then she half-called me a midget, too.

Helen:
Kittleson?

Richard:
It was a slip. She said 'midg', then caught herself. I hate her too.

[to George Vogelman]

Ellenor:
You don't shout at me... ever.

[to Lindsay]

Helen:
If you're in love with the guy, be a woman about it and claw my eyes out. I'd do it to you.

Ellenor:
You gotta admit, we're pretty good at what we do.

Bobby:
Maybe we're bred to fight a little dirty.

Lindsay:
Hail, hail freedom of the press. I think it's time to send a message to all the cockroaches.

Eugene:
The rot is already in the wood.

Lindsay:
So you might as well take your cut.

Ellenor:
You pissy little b*tch.

Judge:
Your motion is denied. I am losing my patience!

Ellenor:
To hell with patience, you've lost your MIND, and that hasn't slowed you down!

[on George's innocence]

Susan Robin's father:
You're getting paid to think that.

Eugene:
I get paid to represent him. What I think isn't up for sale.

Lawrence O'Malley:
You're going to heaven, and I will take you there.

Lindsay:
You know what? Why don't you go on ahead without me.

[part of her closing argument]

Helen:
This man comes from a society that treats women as commodities. A nation that burns bad wives. In America we don't do that. We don't condone honor killings. We don't consider any murder to be honorable. You all know what he did. Come back with a verdict which reminds him what country he is in now.

Bobby:
Let me tell you what I know. I've always known you to be a judge who's about the law. Despite all the wacky stuff you've got going on, when you put that robe on you've always been a judge. A good one, a fair one. You pride yourself on that, where the HELL was your pride today? The district attorney delivered one of the most bigoted closings I've ever seen. And you didn't blink. The prejudice in this trial had been SCREAMING, and the loudest scream came in the form of that verdict. How in God's name can you let it stand?

Judge Kittleson:
For the record counsel, what you call bigotry, the district attorney calls motive. And she's free to argue that. Second, circumstantial evidence is enough to convict and the jury found that evidence to be compelling. It is not my function to substitute my judgment. And lastly, off the record, any man whose brother burns women alive, can't be all good. Now please leave.

Bobby:
Wow, I guess prejudice is cloaked in black robes sometimes too.

[On fixing Eugene's non-existent hair]

Lucy:
I'm not a magician.

Eugene:
No, but you can make yourself disappear.

Ellenor:
Who'd you kill?

Joey Heric:
It's nice to see you too, Ellenor.

[after Jimmy has burst into his apartment with the police only to find Judge Kittleson standing there naked]

Jimmy Berluti:
What?

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
I came to surprise you.

Jimmy Berluti:
Oh... it worked.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
Was anyone else present for your conversation?

Ellenor Frutt:
No.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
Well, then, shame on you. Never interview a witness alone. This is what you get.

Ellenor Frutt:
Thank you, Your Honor. I was so hoping for a lesson.

Harland Bassett:
Look at the bright side, Eugene. I can still get my jury victory now.

Eugene Young:
Yes. I'm trying to contain my delight on that.

Jimmy Berluti:
My client is innocent. You know it. That's probably why you're in here getting drunk.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
Wrong again. I get drunk every night.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
After this case is over, if you want to sit next to me, fine. We can share a drink. Who knows, I might even wet your whistle after.

Jimmy Berluti:
You're a vulgar, desperate woman.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
All the more reason to remain a good judge, then.

Judge Roberta Kittleson:
You can write your congressman if you don't like the law, counsel. In here, we simply follow it.

[Bobby and Lindsay are getting their marraige license. When reviewing their information, the lady helping them makes a crack about 'Lindsay Suzanne Dole']

Lady:
[to Lindsay] Your initials are LSD - isn't that funny?

Bobby:
I'm never gonna stop loving you...

Lindsay:
How do you know?

Bobby:
Because, I've only just begun to love you.

Bobby:
Lindsay, I've only had two dreams my whole life. One was to pitch for the Red Sox, the other was to meet and marry the greatest woman in the whole world... one for two isn't bad... [touching her cheek] Now if I could just get you to take a little medication for your mood swings...

Lindsay:
[bending his finger backwards, grinning] Is that so?

Bobby:
Ow! Ow! Okay! Okay! Uncle!

[Lindsay is emotionally involved in a case, and is acting moody at the office. Earlier, Lucy overheard her confess to Bobby that she "needs more sex"]

Jimmy Berluti:
[to Bobby] Is there something I'm not getting here?

Lucy:
It's Lindsay who's not gettin' it - from Bobby.

Bobby:
LUCY!

Lindsay:
You're not senior partner here, Bobby.

Bobby:
Well, then, let's put our clothes back on, drive over to the office, and have the conversation there.

Lindsay:
You can't just fire me, I'm partner.

Bobby:
Yeah, you are. Mine.

[They fall back onto the bed, kissing]

Lindsay:
Don't 'here we go' me! If you 'here we go' me, one more time...

Bobby:
Listen to yourself.

Lindsay:
Oh, and I hate that one, too - "listen to yourself". "Here we go" and "listen to yourself". If you say those things, in our marriage, I will scream. Okay? Do you hear me? You know, it's good to know these things before we become husband and wife. This is very, very, healthy.

Lindsay:
You've made every decision without consulting me, and now you're telling me that I have to wear your dead mother's doily? Well, I'm not. I'm wearing the dress that I picked out. If I have to eat communion, you can swallow this.

Lucy:
[on Lindsay's mood] Definitely wedding stress.

[Lindsay stalks up to her menacingly, and she steps back]

Lucy:
My first instinct was to say nothing - honest.

Lindsay:
Bite me.

[There is a rat in the office and the girls have piled on top of the desks in order to get away from it. Ellenor pulls out something and Lindsay asks her what it is]

Ellenor:
It's a starter pistol.

Lindsay:
[laughing] What are you gonna do? Race him?

Helen:
[to Ellenor] Roommates are supposed to share their little sexual secrets. I sleep with this football player, he comes over with his poodle. Dog likes to lick my toes during. . . Just kidding.

Jimmy Berluti:
I've spent my whole life thinking I'm not good enough.

Bobby Donnell:
If we lose, you'll at least know your whole life, you've been right.

George Vogelman:
You know you're standing under the mistletoe?

Helen:
You know the saying, George - once you've seen a man holding a severed head, it's hard to look at him again sexually.

Bobby Donnell:
[about Ellenor testifying on behalf of the firm] We'll look bad if we hide things. Let's just be upfront about everything.

Ellenor:
That's easy for you to say - it's not your personal life

Lucy:
Who has a personal life?

Bobby Donnell, Ellenor:
[shout] Lucy!

Ally McBeal:
Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks. Born again in '61, killed her husband just for fun.

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
I'm only talking about a humane way of getting the testimony. This does nothing to my burden ...

Eugene Young:
We won't agree. Get an order if you want, but like Ellenor says, we aren't about to make things easier.

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
How stupid of me to expect you people to be decent or humane. You think you're heroes, playing a part in the criminal justice system, the crusaders against depression. Well, you might have started out that way but look at you now. The day to day stench of your clients has rubbed off, you're every bit as vile and contaminated as the murderers and rapists you defend! You bring no dignity to law, you proffer disgrace. Where you might once have been noble, you've- you've sunk into a sinkhole of disrepute where your only idealism is get the guy off even when it offends human nature, where it insults morality! You're so lost in the inferno of crime and dishonor, you become sickening animals, repugnant to everything that's good about this country, everything this nation celebrates in the spirit of humanity! You are sick, awful vehicles of hate! If there is a god, he will get you, you sleazy, cancerous, infected, malignant, grotesque snakes!

Bobby Donnell:
What kind of judge are you ?

Judge Philip Swackheim:
The best kind : old,crazy and fed up !

Lindsay Dole:
And, sir, can you tell the court why you would eat these women?

Lawrence O'Malley:
Because they were so beautiful. Like you. The book of Genesis tells us that woman came from man. When man consumes the woman it makes him one with her... and by eating them, I know they will go to heaven because I am going to heaven, and they will go with me. [looking directly at Lindsay] You'll be going to heaven, Clarice.

Lawrence O'Malley:
[to his lawyer, Lindsay Dole, after he has asked to speak to her, alone, in a conference room at the court house] Hello, Clarissa.

Bobby Donnell:
Oh, brother!

Lawrence O'Malley:
Could you leave, Bobby? I'd like to speak to Clarissa alone.

Lindsay Dole:
I'm not Clarissa, Lawrence. Jody Foster wasn't even Clarissa. She was Clarice. And even she's not Clarice anymore.

Alan Shore:
To err is human, but to get even? THAT is divine.

Lawrence O'Malley:
[believing himself to be Hannibal Lector as he speaks to Lindsay through her open apartment door] You'll go to heaven... and I will take you there myself.

Lindsay Dole:
[pointing her gun at him] Know what? Why don't you go on ahead without me.

Ellenor Frutt:
[talking to her client, Maynard Parish, in his jail cell] You promised me you'd stop shoplifting!

Maynard Parish:
I didn't boost nothin'... I'm innocent this time!

Ellenor Frutt:
You're innocent...

Maynard Parish:
Yes!

Ellenor Frutt:
You had the stereo in your coat.

Maynard Parish:
That was a present for my mom's birthday. No... h-h-how can it be stealin' if it's for someone else?

Ellenor Frutt:
OK... THAT'S a defense we're NOT putting on.

Bobby Donnell:
My client isn't a flight risk, your honor.

A.D.A. Curtis Simmons:
Safety risk.

Bobby Donnell:
This is the first time he's ever shot anybody. [Judge Hiller looks at him, shocked at such a slip-up. Bobby catches himself] Allegedly.

Maxine Shipp:
[standing outside Lindsay's new office] But, actually, I think I have heard of you. Aren't you the lady who shot somebody?

Lindsay Dole:
I did. But I beat it... on a technicality. Come on in.

Maxine Shipp:
OK. Uhhh... it wasn't a client you shot, right?

Bobby Donnell:
We can't put him up there.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
It's still an alibi. They can't prove he's lying, which he isn't.

Ellenor Frutt:
They wouldn't have to prove he's lying. He looks like it, he sounds like it, he - he personifies dishonesty, and by putting him up there, we would be helping the prosecution, trust me.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
Why the hell didn't you protect him? You should have been objecting or something.

Bobby Donnell:
The questions weren't objectionable, and it was a discovery. Look, 30 years is better than life, if it's still on the table.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
No!

Bobby Donnell:
Try to get this - we got no rabbits to pull.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
What about your plan "b" strategy?

Bobby Donnell:
A witness saw you pull the trigger. Plus this DA and he knows us. And I know him, he is not going to drop the ball. We cannot win this case.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
All right. Let me think about. Can I think about it?

Bobby Donnell:
We're not scheduled to go again till tomorrow, so, yeah. [sighed] Take the night.

Ellenor Frutt:
Look, we don't like you, which is true. You think because we don't like you, we are not doing everything we possibly can, which is not true.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
Okay. Okay.

Helen Gamble:
Richard, of course you have to report this. Why haven't you already?

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
If I report it, I let him win. I-I...

Helen Gamble:
How do you figure that?

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
He's hoping I'll report it and try to resign from the case, or he'll try to have me removed. The judge might do it anyway. The trial gets delayed.

Helen Gamble:
Wait. Wait. Wait. First of all, that doesn't have to happen. You could still continue.

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Oh, you know Bobby, he...

Helen Gamble:
But secondly, your life was threatened. A crime was committed. You're an officer of the court. You have to report it. Come on, do I really need to be telling you that? What?

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
He said if I told the police, I'd die.

Helen Gamble:
You're scared.

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Yes. Helen, even if I did file a report, I didn't even see him. He's disguised his voice. There's no way I could make an I.D.

Helen Gamble:
They could dust your garage. Maybe there are tire tracks, a witnesses in the neighborhood who saw a car. The police could investigate. Richard, you need to report this. If you won't, I will. All right. I'm going to call Detective Michael McGuire. We'll start the investigation. We'll put you in protective custody. Someone's gonna be with you around the clock. We'll guard your house.

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Helen...

Helen Gamble:
Until the verdict. Now, I'm going to have to talk to Bobby.

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Why?

Helen Gamble:
Because he has to know. Now, the only remaining question, are you okay to continue with the trial?

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Yes.

Helen Gamble:
Are you sure?

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Yes.

Helen Gamble:
And you'll be going for a conviction, right?

A.D.A. Richard Bay:
Yes.

Bobby Donnell:
In his own garage?

Helen Gamble:
Yes. I assuming that you gave him no indication.

Bobby Donnell:
Of course not.

Helen Gamble:
Does he know that knocking off the D.A. won't do much good? We do have more.

Bobby Donnell:
We may have led him to believe that this particular D.A. was a nemesis. We will set him straight on that.

Ellenor Frutt:
What an idiot.

Bobby Donnell:
And so where are we?

Helen Gamble:
Richard's bent on continuing. And you know him. Now you will have a conversation with your client.

Bobby Donnell:
Oh, yes.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
I'm as shocked as you are.

Bobby Donnell:
Don't give me that.

Ellenor Frutt:
Are you that stupid? You think killing the district attorney will actually help you?

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
I will never hurt anybody, Ms. Frutt, but you know what? Our relationship is so deteriorating here, that maybe you two should get off this case. I should find myself new representation.

Ellenor Frutt:
So you can buy time? Time to execute the witness?

Bobby Donnell:
We'd love to get off, Jackie, but the judge will never let that happened, not at this point.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
If you told him that your disgust prevents you from doing you best work.

Bobby Donnell:
The problem is I do my best work with disgusting client. We're stuck with each other. The trial is going on. There's plenty more district attorneys where Richard Bay came from, so going after him will get you nothing.

Jackson 'Jackie' Cahill:
Nothing? No. You underestimate the value of a smile. It's the simple pleasures, counsel.

Bobby Donnell:
Richard Bay's the D.A. on... Clyde Miller. [So it's true]

Ellenor Frutt:
Oh, my God.

Lucy Hatcher:
Tell me.

Bobby Donnell:
In my office.

Jimmy Berluti:
I can't. They transfer Henry back to the courthouse. I have to go... [Bobby doesn't care]

Bobby Donnell:
In my office.

[Ellenor got back to the law offices and slams the door closed. Lucy raised her hands]

Lucy Hatcher:
I didn't do anything.

Ellenor Frutt:
Where's Jimmy?

Jimmy Berluti:
Right here. What?

Ellenor Frutt:
You signed-off on murder two with Clyde Miller just like that?

Jimmy Berluti:
We had to take it or leave it. One time offer.

Ellenor Frutt:
So why did you take it?

Jimmy Berluti:
Because he was looking at first degree.

Ellenor Frutt:
We still could have tried the thing.

Jimmy Berluti:
And lost.

Ellenor Frutt:
But maybe won. There evidence...

Jimmy Berluti:
Oh, please.

Ellenor Frutt:
Jimmy, there were no witnesses. I just beat a much tougher case on this one a month ago with Darryl Hutchins. [Bobby finds out what's with the noise]

Bobby Donnell:
What's going?

Ellenor Frutt:
Clyde Miller. He just copped to second degree.

Jimmy Berluti:
There were no rabbits to pull on this one, Ellenor, they had them dead to center.

Ellenor Frutt:
Even so, Jimmy, this seems a little rush, and since I am second chair. I think you could have run this by me before...

Jimmy Berluti:
I didn't think you wanted to be bothered. [Lucy got a telephone call and she has some good news in the results]

Lucy Hatcher:
Okay. Good news. Henry passed the polygraph.

Jimmy Berluti:
He did?

Lucy Hatcher:
Yes. They transfer him to the courthouse.

Bobby Donnell:
What's he taking the polygraph for?

Jimmy Berluti:
Richard Bay, I worked with him p last night. He said if he passed the lie detector, he endorsed his release.

Bobby Donnell:
Bay's going to recommend release now?

Jimmy Berluti:
He said a polygraph will sell him.

Bobby Donnell:
[Jimmy into Bobby's office and find out and Bobby know what's wrong with Jimmy] You serve up Miller to get Henry out?

Jimmy Berluti:
I made independent deals.

Bobby Donnell:
Don't screw with me, Jimmy.

Jimmy Berluti:
I made separate deal in two.

Bobby Donnell:
You don't just copped to murder two.

Jimmy Berluti:
Judgment call, and don't tell me you've never done it.

Bobby Donnell:
You can get disbarred.

Jimmy Berluti:
I know you done it.

Bobby Donnell:
I'm talking here!

Jimmy Berluti:
And I'm not listening! Shut up! Don't you... Don't you dare put yourself in my position. A man isn't in jail because of you. A kid didn't put a noose around his neck because of you.

Bobby Donnell:
You're falling apart.

Jimmy Berluti:
Of course I'm falling apart. I've been falling apart for 3 months. I... Look at me. I put a 50 lbs. What do you think? [Jimmy sighs] I gotta fix this, Bobby.

Bobby Donnell:
I won't let you.

Jimmy Berluti:
You just stay the hell out of it!

Bobby Donnell:
I can't Clyde Miller is a client of this firm.

Jimmy Berluti:
I explain the deal to him. He took it.

Bobby Donnell:
He's stupid. He'll do whatever you say.

Jimmy Berluti:
You keep out of it. You want to fire me? Fire me. But I've got to fix this. [Jimmy regain his composure] He's a killer. He killed a rabbi. He should be in jail. Henry Olson shouldn't be. This is a just result. [Bobby shakes his head disapprovingly and calmed]

Bobby Donnell:
It doesn't work like that, Jimmy.

Jimmy Berluti:
Please. Two separate deals. Two different cases. He'd go down on murder one if we tried it. Just let this be. [Bobby felt silent] Just let this be. [Jimmy drains his head]

Judge Warren West:
Your client allegedly cut off a woman's head, Mr. Young, are you afraid the jury will think less of him because of his film library?

Eugene Young:
Wait, wait, wait... you went to law school, took the bar exam.

Joey Heric:
It was my therapist's idea. He thought one way of weaning myself off of killing people was to help others who did get away with it. I've got a case now. That's why I'm here.

Bobby Donnell:
What kind of case?

Joey Heric:
Homicide! The problem I'm having is this... I think the kid might actually be innocent. And as good as I am, my conscience says I should bring someone else on board with experience.

Ellenor Frutt:
So, in addition to getting a law degree, you also picked up a conscience?

Joey Heric:
Drives like new, hardly any miles on it.

Alan Shore:
It's not that I didn't appreciate your riveting performance, but I've mainly retained you to sit at the table as honorary friend of the judge.

Denny Crane:
Let me tell you something, tiger.

Alan Shore:
Tiger?

Denny Crane:
You want Denny Crane to talk. When Denny Crane talks, E.F. Hutton listens. My presence alone - my presence is so powerful, I don't even have to talk. Sometimes I'm better when I don't talk.

Alan Shore:
This was my thinking.

Denny Crane:
I'm Denny Crane, damn it!