The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
There are 550 years of Renaldi's on these walls, and I will be up there next to my father.

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
[throwing herself onto her bed] This is so COOL!

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
I have my own mall!

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
[to Andrew, laughing] Why, thank you, sir. I think you might be even clumsier than me!

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
Andrew, could you try to talk without moving your lips? The press have binoculars.

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
[after Andrew gives her an engagement ring] Do I have to put it on myself?

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
To be a princess, you've got to believe that you're a princess. You've gotta walk the way you think a princess should walk, so think tall, smile and wave, and just have fun.

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
[to her grandmother] Just because I didn't get my fairytale ending doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Princess Mia Thermopolis:
Welcome. A few moments ago, I realized the only reason I was getting married was because of a law, and that didn't seem like a good enough reason. So, I won't be getting married today. My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and... I think she rocks at it. So, as the granddaughter of Queen Clarisse and King Rupert, I ask the members of parliament to think about your nieces, your sisters, your daughters and granddaughters, and ask yourselves: would you force them to do what you're trying to make me do? I believe I will be a great queen. I understand Genovia to be a land that combines the beauty of the past with all the best hope of the future. I feel in my heart and soul that I can rule Genovia. I... I love Genovia. Do you think that I would be up here in a wedding dress if I didn't? I stand here ready to take my place as your queen. Without a husband.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
As your queen I simply cannot condone it... as a Grandma, I say right on!

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
A princess never chases a chicken.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
[Mia shows up in soaking wet clothes] Do I want to know?

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
Well Maurice, it's just you and I. Or are you upset with me too? [Maurice leaves]

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
We never rush, we hasten.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
Dear Joseph... is it too late to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
[to wedding guests] I know it was short notice, but... you were all dressed.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
My lord Archbishop, I would like to take this man as my husband, if you please.

Lily:
[singing to herself while watching Mia and Andrew play badminton] They were smitten, while playing badminton. Where's my kitten?

Lily:
[sees Nicholas] My hello is insignificant. Rosencrantz, Guilderstern, come with me. Lenny, Squiggy, ZIP IT!

Lily:
I can announce myself: Lily Moscovitz!

Lily:
I'll cover for you. Go, Rapunzel, go!

Lily:
I'd like to tell her what she can do with her eggs.

Lily:
I'm a girl who loves black and is wearing pink.

Nicholas:
Maybe, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she ran the country.

Nicholas:
It wouldn't be nothing. Genovia would be in good hands, and, she would be happy.

Nicholas:
[to Mia] I think it's time I bowed out gracefully, don't you?

Nicholas:
I decline. I refuse to be king. Ladies and gentleman, it is Princess Mia, who should rule. She is bright and she is caring, but more importantly she has a vision. One that will take Genovia forward and if the Parliament were astute, they would name her queen. Listen to her, she'll take us into the 21st century. Besides, just think how lovely she'll look on our postage stamp.

Security Guard Lionel:
Your Majesty, I would gladly take a bullet for you.

Queen Clarisse Renaldi:
Oh, how brave. Most interns don't even want to fetch me my tea.

Mia Thermopolis:
Oh, by the way, I'm getting married!

Lily Moscovitz:
To who?

Mia:
I don't know.

[Mia, Lily, Clarisse, Charlotte, and Joe are going through a slideshow of possible husbands for Mia]

Charlotte:
Baron Johann Klemp.

Queen Clarisse:
No, not appropriate. He's a complusive gambler.

[A picture of Prince William appears]

Mia:
[gasps] Yes! Oh yes! I, I, I absolutely accept!

Charlotte:
[giggles] Prince William. He's not eligible because he's in line for his own crown.

Mia:
[disappointed] Oh.

Joe:
If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?

Charlotte:
[dreamily] I just love to look at him.

Queen Clarisse:
Me too.

Mia:
Mmm-hmm.

Joe:
Your Majesty!

Queen Clarisse:
Next?

Charlotte:
Antoine Suisson of Paris. Plays the harp. Uh, no title, but good family.

Lily:
What about the title "husband?"

Mia:
Yeah, he's cute.

Joe:
His boyfriend thinks he's handsome, also.

Mia and Lily:
Right on.

Queen Clarisse:
No matter. Put him on all the invitation lists, he's a divine dancer. Next. [slideshow continues] Too old. Too young.

Lily:
[to Mia] Does this popcorn taste like pears?

Mia:
Mmmm. Genovian specialty.

Joe:
Arrested too many times.

Queen Clarisse:
Wait, no. We need someone titled. Someone who can help you run a country without ego getting in the way. Someone attractive, smart, but not arrogant. Someone with compassion...

Mia:
Someone like him? [points to Andrew's picture]

Queen Clarisse:
Yes! Someone very much like him. Good choice, Mia! I wonder I didn't think of him before!

Charlotte:
Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kennelwith.

Lily:
[admiringly] Oh.

Mia:
[unsure] Well, he looks... decent.

Security Guard Lionel:
[security guard Shades circles around once] Can I do that?

Security Guard Shades:
No.

Lionel:
Ever take those shades off?

Shades:
No.

Nicholas Devereaux:
I'm Nick. Viscount Mabrey's nephew.

Andrew Jacoby:
Ah, the chap who's trying to stage the palace coup. I'm Andrew Jacoby. Nice to meet you.

Lily:
[thrusting out her hand to shake his] Lilly Moscovitz, official best friend of future queen. I don't like you.

Nicholas Devereaux:
Pleasure.

Mia:
I can't ride side-saddle.

Queen Clarisse:
No, no, no, neither could I when I was your age and quite frankly, dear, it is ACUTELY uncomfortable. Herbie is my riding companion, here he is.

Queen Clarisse:
Herbie.

Mia:
It's a wooden leg.

Queen Clarisse:
Yes.

Mia:
That is impressively sneaky, Grandma, did you think of this yourself?

Queen Clarisse:
No, it's a centuries old idea, our ancestors know something about being comfortable, right, you just drape your skirt over it and no one suspects a thing!

Joe:
Viscount, you may not be aware of what my job entails as the Royal Head of Security. My job is to protect the crown. To make sure no harm comes to the crown. To step in when someone toys with the crown's emotions, you see.

Viscount Mabrey:
I think the entire country understands how well you cater for the crown's emotions.

Joe:
[pause] If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you; remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico.

Viscount Mabrey:
Sir, you will find that the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary!

Joe:
Perhaps... but it's in your eyes.

Mia:
I loathe you!

Nicholas Devereaux:
I loathe YOU!

Mia:
I loathed you FIRST!

[Nicholas grabs Mia and kisses her. Mia kisses back at first, then realizes what she's doing and breaks away.]

Mia:
What!? What are you doing? You can't just go around kissing people! Particularly not engaged people!

Nicholas:
You enjoyed it. Do you want to kiss again?

Mia:
Well I... NO! Stop trying to confuse me!

Nicholas:
What's confusing about a kiss?

Mia:
I know what you're trying to do! You're just trying to make me like you so that I won't marry Andrew and you can have the crown! UGH!

Nicholas:
Maybe I am and.... maybe I just like kissing you. [he moves to kiss her again and they both fall into the fountain]

Mia:
I have a terrific idea, you go underwater and I'll count to a million. [she climbs out of the fountain and walks away, head high and soaking wet]

Andrew Jacoby:
She's going to be a handful, isn't she?

Queen Clarisse:
You'll never be bored, Andrew.

Lionel:
[into his mike very loudly] Eagle is leaving! Eagle is leaving!

Queen Clarisse:
[stops] In hushed tones, Lionel. Hushed tones.

Joe:
How do you feel today, my dear?

Mia Thermopolis:
Honestly, Joe? Not that great.

Joe:
Would you feel better if you called me "Joey"?

Mia Thermopolis:
No, Joe.

Joe:
Good.

Nicholas:
She's letting the children join the parade, how charming.

Viscount Mabrey:
Not for everyone.

[Queen Clarisse and Nicholas have been discussing why Mia should or shouldn't be Queen, and Clarisse tells Nicholas what a wonderful person Mia is.]

Nicholas:
I know that.

Queen Clarisse:
You do?

Nicholas:
Yes. Yes, I do, but-- well, how can one rule the people, if one does not know the people?

Queen Clarisse:
Touché. That's a very good question.

[Mia is talking to Nicholas in the hallway]

Brigitte:
She needs to get ready for the party.

Brigitta:
She's busy.

Lily:
Lenny, Squiggy, zip it!

Mia:
I thought you never slide.

Queen Clarisse:
I don't. But I've done a lot of flying in my time.

Asana:
Is she really going to do this?

Nicholas:
Mia. Could I see you one more time before I go?

Mia:
Nicholas, I'm watched like a hawk.

Lionel:
Princess! Princess!

Mia:
See?

Nicholas:
I'll find a way.

Mia:
[reluctantly] Yes?

Lionel:
Nothing, I'm just supposed to watch you.

Lily:
Look out your window.

Mia:
Why? What's going on?

Lily:
[excitedly] Just look out your window! Prince Charming is throwing pebbles!

Nicholas:
[whistles]

Mia:
[whispers] What're you doing?

Nicholas:
[clears his throat] Rapunzel, Rapunzel, with hair so fine. Come out your window, climb down the vine.

Mia:
The feat you ask, dear sir, isn't easy. And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy.

Lily:
So what does he want?

Mia:
[sighs] He wants me to climb down the vine.

Lily:
Well, do you want to?

Mia:
Yes!

Lily:
So go!

Mia:
[stammers] It's a recipe for disaster!

Lily:
Do something impulsive for once in your life. You're getting married. Do you want a regular bachelorette party with twelve screaming girls? Or do you want a stroll in the moonlight with your almost Prince Charming?

Nicholas:
Tell me your greatest desires.

Mia:
Tell me a secret.

Nicholas:
Isn't that the same?

Mia:
Almost, but anyone can see your desires. No one knows what's in your heart.

Nicolas:
Tell me something.

Mia:
Um, I love "I Love Lucy" reruns and sometimes I dream in black and white.

Nicolas:
I used to pretend to be sick when I had a test in school.

Mia:
We all did that.

Nicolas:
OK... sometimes I put chocolate milk in my cereal.

Mia:
I'm deathly afraid of jellyfish.

Nicolas:
I haven't danced with you since your birthday.

Mia:
That's a fact, not a secret.

Nicolas:
The secret is.... is that I still want to.

Elsie Kentworth:
Keep your eggs sunny side up!

Lily:
I'd like to tell her what she can do with her eggs, she can--

Queen Clarisse:
Lily. Could we have a moment alone?

[Paolo has done Mia's hair in a very bizarre style]

Mia:
I look like a moose.

Paolo:
But a very cute moose. Make all the boy moose go "WHAAAAA".

Mia:
I have antlers!

Paolo:
WHAAAAA!

Mia:
Joe? I just wanted to say, before I do this, I'm sorry you're retiring.

Joe:
Who told you that?

Mia:
The maids know everything.

Joe:
Princess-- then you should know that Nicholas did not set you up at the lake.

Mia:
You sure?

Joe:
The maids know everything.

Mia:
Grandma, I'm so sorry, I- I just need a minute--

Queen Clarisse:
No.

Mia:
I can do this--

Queen Clarisse:
No!

Mia:
I can't do this.

Queen Clarisse:
I know. Darling, listen to me, I made my choice: duty to my country over love. Now I have lost the only man I have ever really loved. Don't make the same mistakes I made, make your own mistakes, there'll be plenty of them, believe me. Now you can go back into that church and get married, or you can walk away. Whatever choice you make, let it come from your heart.

Andrew:
Uh, thank you. For saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life. Now all I have to do is tell Mummy.

Mia:
I have to tell everyone else.

Both:
Good luck!

Nicholas:
If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with your Highness.

Mia:
[motions for him to go ahead] What is your dilemma, young man?

Nicholas:
You are, in fact. [kneels] I'm in love with the Queen-to-be, and I am enquiring if she loves me too.

Mia:
(pauses, then sighs) Do you have a chicken for my table?

Nicholas:
No. No, my kitchen is out of chickens.

[Mia flops back into the throne for a moment, in mock disappointment, then runs over and they hug; he sighs and kisses Mia]

You are cordially invited to the royal event of the season. R.S.V.P. This Summer

It can take a lifetime to find true love; she's got 30 days!

The throne is all hers... but there's a little hitch.

She needs the rock to rule.

(Queen Clarisse decides to marry Joe)

Queen Clarisse:
My Lord Archbishop, I'd like to take this man as my husband if you please.

Archbishop:
(looks skyward) Finally!

(Queen Clarisse's face drops into one of shock)