The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

Evelyn Ryan:
I don't need you to make me happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.

Evelyn Ryan:
[singing] My frisk the Frigidaire, clean the cupboard bare sandwich.

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
You know what your problem is?

Evelyn Ryan:
No Dad, I don't.

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
You're too damn happy. [Evelyn and the kids laugh]

Detective Feeney:
If you were stranded on an island and could take only one beverage with you, which beverage would you take?

Evelyn Ryan:
Orange juice.

Detective Feeney:
Orange juice?

Evelyn Ryan:
Yes, orange juice... to prevent scurvy. [pauses] But my beverage of choice is Dr. Pepper.

Detective Feeney:
[laughs]

Evelyn Ryan:
Let's go to bed. I'm tired of this day. I need a new one.

Evelyn Ryan:
Do you know that U.S. Army research has shown a relationship between intelligence and willingness to eat unfamiliar foods?

Evelyn Ryan:
You know what the worst part of it is?

Mrs. Bidlack:
What?

Evelyn Ryan:
A quart of milk got sucked up inside my girdle.

Evelyn Ryan:
He said that I beat 250,000 other entries. And do you know what else? It wasn't even my best one.

Evelyn Ryan:
Everything is possible.

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
I wanted to make a nice dinner for the kids.

Evelyn Ryan:
Why didn't you feed them?

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
I was crying and didn't want them to see me.

Evelyn Ryan:
Why on earth were you crying?

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
I thought you decided to go away and never come back.

Evelyn Ryan:
[sighs] For goodness sakes. You know I'd never leave the kids with you.

Evelyn Ryan:
Don't be silly. Spices don't have legs. There are no bugs in the soup.

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
This is my last dollar. What if we don't win?

Evelyn Ryan:
Well, that is a problem for another day.

Leo "Kelly" Ryan:
Do you hate me, Mother?

Evelyn Ryan:
I'm still in shock right now. I'll have to let you know.

Evelyn Ryan:
[to her daughter Tuff] You have a wonderful mind and a beautiful heart.